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Original poster

MOT and Tax bill have cleaned me out and it’s four weeks til payday.

27 replies

absopugginglutely · 31/01/2020 21:13

Next weekend I’m babysitting for a family and will get £130 for that, DH will lend me £200 to get through the month and on the last week, my child benefit comes in and I do get paid on the last day but blimey after food and fuel, I’m going to have SUCH a meagre month 😢
I have no credit available but (fortunately no debts either)
I feel the anxiety scrunching up inside me.
I’m going to just try not to leave the house much- lots of de-cluttering, not going out and cleaning and hopefully by the end of this month I’ll be okay.
I hate money!

OP posts:

JKScot4 · 31/01/2020 21:15

You’re married and you’re skint and have to ‘borrow’from your DH? Time to review your joint finances.

LIZS · 31/01/2020 21:16

Dh "lending" you money seems odd. Why are resources not pooled? Perhaps budget for next year's tax bill from each pay packet. Are you se or paye?

Keepmewarm · 31/01/2020 21:19

How kind of your husband!

NemophilistRebel · 31/01/2020 21:20

Has he always been financially abusive?

MrsMoastyToasty · 31/01/2020 21:23

From next payday plan to save enough for next year's MOT test in monthly installments.

BIWI · 31/01/2020 21:23

Agree with PP - why on earth are you in a situation where you have to borrow money from your own husband?

I'm really sorry things are so tight though.

YasssKween · 31/01/2020 21:23

He's lending you money? Your husband?

He sounds like a nice chap.

Bloody hell.

Lougle · 31/01/2020 21:25

PootleandPosey · 31/01/2020 21:31

How much will your DH have for non essential spends this month? You should have half this. You need to rethink your finances with him- he shouldn’t be lending you money, your money should be pooled.

Clymene · 31/01/2020 21:36

Nope. You shouldn't have to borrow from your husband, especially when you have children.

You should have equal access to money.

MadeForThis · 31/01/2020 21:36

What a generous husband you have.

Sewinginscotland · 31/01/2020 21:41

Can you help reduce your anxiety over money this month by doing some financial planning so you hopefully won't be in this situation again? I always put by £300 a year (so £25 a month) to get me through the MOT service. I also put by money for other standard yearly expenditure (e.g. Christmas, cat's yearly vaccination, house insurance). The bank advisor was actually surprisingly helpful in advising me on how to manage my money.

And maybe have a chat with your DH. We don't completely share finances, but bills and food come out of the joint account so anything else is for our own spending. I've been on an inadvisably large spending spree today so the end of the month will be tight, but I will be able to pay all bills and not worry about my finances.

DonnaDarko · 31/01/2020 21:43

Surely, these are not unexpected expenses. I think you and your DH need to have a plan for big expenses and you shouldn't be borrowing, isn't it all family money!

daytriptovulcan · 31/01/2020 21:53

When spouses lend each other money it always seems suspect to me... As Bob geldof once said 'just give us your fecking money'. It should be the same family budget

Ellisandra · 31/01/2020 23:16

Your husband is lending you money for FOOD?

Walnutwhipster · 31/01/2020 23:19

I find it odd lending from your husband. We share everything, always have.

Mrskeats · 31/01/2020 23:23

Your husband 'lends' you money?
So weird

Apileofballyhoo · 31/01/2020 23:43

There was a thread recently where the poster's DH was going to lend her money to buy a car. After outrage from MN she had stern words with him.

Your DH and you should have equal spending money after all bills are paid and savings are put away.

KellyHall · 31/01/2020 23:52

Shared finances are a lovely idea. But what if one person is really shit with money? If my dh had free reign over my income as well as his, we'd be fucked financially! His credit score is poor, mine is good, his access to credit is nil, mine is in to 5 figures. Our lives would be a total disaster if we pooled our finances!

Get organised. Open a second account to save for annual expenses. Work out your budget by going through the last year of bank statements. Only spend what you have left after your monthly expenses and your annual savings have been accounted for. If you need to, or to help you get used to it, withdraw the money you can spend at the beginning of the month, put it in to sealed envelopes for each week of the month.

Original poster

absopugginglutely · 01/02/2020 13:30

Kelly* that’s exactly why we don’t share finances because we’re both a bit crap with it in our own ways.
He doesn’t insist I pay him back, I do so there is no abuse going on here.

Thanks for all your advice anyway.
I think it will be fine if not a bit tight!

OP posts:

combatbarbie · 01/02/2020 13:34

Are you self employed hence the tax bill. DH saves 20% of any job to a seperate acct.

I save £100 a month to cover tax, mot, servicing, insurance and unexpected minor car bills such as tyres.

What does the money DH lent you got to cover?

SuckingDieselFella · 01/02/2020 13:43

An MOT and tax bill shouldn't clean you out. These are expenses you know will come up every year. Put money aside so that you can pay them.

You can pay for food and fuel. Some people can't manage that no matter how good they are with money. Spend the next few weeks finding activities you can do for free and re-evaluate your spending.

marblesgoing · 01/02/2020 15:14

Op me and my dh also have seperate personal spends.

We have a joint account that absolutely every bill comes out of inc food fuel insurances etc and we both pay exactly half each into it every month and then whatever we each have left from salaries we keep to ourselves.

Twice a year we do clothes shopping for the dc and half the bill and any school trips uniform house stuff etc we pay half each for out of our personal spends.

My dh earns quite abit more than me at present however he's saving for a better car as his is on its last legs whereby mine is only a few years old.

If I was ever short on personal spends and said to him he would automatically transfer me some moe y from his personal and vice versa.

The reason we do it like this is because he can be flippant and crap with money where as I'm more rigid so it means we both financially support 50% each and then can support ourselves.

I also have many friends and clients that have everything pooled together and have a hard time as they don't have the freedom to save or buy as they please unlike me.

I always put bak £25 a month to pay for tyres and mot on my car.

Haircut100000 · 01/02/2020 18:22

Set up a regular saver, as soon as you get paid, so that X amount is saved per month. You should also earn a little interest
Money saving expert website will have examples of regular savings accounts

I've had the same in Jan, MOT, car repairs & tax bill

Original poster

absopugginglutely · 02/02/2020 07:07

Thank you.
I will set up a saver and I’ve noticed that hmrc do a thing where you can set up a DD monthly so you’re saving up for your tax bill all year.
Also, I find people can be very quick to judge/ shame anyone who fucks up with money. Surely it happens to all of us from time to time!

OP posts:

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