Too much month at the end of the money

[theswordthatdangles]

January feels like it has been an exceptionally long month this month. Ive now got negative funds in the bank, have borrowed from family and sold/pawned goods to bring some much needed funds in. I can just about stretch meals to the end of the week thanks to some bargain shopping and tinned goods.

I am owed money by a friend who gets paid weekly and has said they can let me have what they have left after they have been shopping. I get it, the month has been as tight for them as it has been for us and theoretically we are better off than they are which is why, when I did have spare cash, I let them put off paying me what was owed for the last couple of months to get them through their children's birthdays and xmas. But now I am just disappointed that I have needed to call the favour in and they haven't forward planned. I shouldn't be. It's my fault in the first place for not insisting on being paid when it was due.

So moving forward, I need to budget plan much better than I am doing. I am also job hunting but having been a sahm for several years, I am finding it harder than I thought as my relevant work experience doesn't translate to the hours of work which I need - the much coveted term time only job.

So all tips for budgeting gratefully received. I try and bulk buy things at the beginning of the month, when dh's large wage goes in, because a huge box of washing powder can easily last a month or two, a catering size washing liquid lasts about the same. I buy on offer when I can so having run out of money, having bread flour and yeast available has meant the kids still have sandwiches for school. Even if the filling is only cheese which was bought when reduced and frozen. The nice snacks foods have had to go by the wayside since last week. But again, a reasonably well maintained baking cupboard has meant we can bake a cake or biscuits as a treat for the children - I am very conscious that I do not want them to worry so I have literally scraped together shrapnel to buy sausages and broccoli so we had a good hot meal yesterday (we already had potatoes thanks to PIL getting a large sack after we ran out).

But I am also conscious that once I start running out of store cupboard stuff, I have got to replace it.

Help!

I think your problem is that you are approaching it in a totally haphazard way.

First step is to sit down and write a budget. A simple spreadsheet is an easy way to do this.

All your income, all your expenditure.

Start with your fixed costs (Housing/utilities/fixed debt repayments/childcare/union etc)

Then items you Absolutley have to spend on but might vary slightly eg school dinners, credit card, travel costs

Then see how much you have left and budget a realistic portion of it for food

Then see what you have left. If your payments are more than your income you have a problem and you need to cut something out/down. Most people try and spend less on food but actually you should cut your debt repayments first.

Ok, so firstly your friend owes you money which needs to be repaid now, not out of what's left after a food shop. You have no food so your need is just as great, if not greater. Tell your friend you need the loan repaid immediately.
Bulk buying is a great idea, but obviously costs a lot initially. I tend to always have a huge bag of pasta, some tinned tomatoes or pasta sauce and tins of tuna for emergencies but I just don't have the money to bulk buy initially.

Oh and re lending money to your friend - while it was a nice thing to do, it sounds like you didn't actually know if you genuinely had spare cash. Relying on the cash being returned as a means of having money this week wasn't the best plan. Of course your friend was going to priorities feeding her family over repaying you.

Spreadsheet spreadsheet spreadsheet. . I can’t rave this enough . We have an excel spreadsheet with all our monthly outgoings so we know exactly what is going out and coming in, and what we can reasonably save . We use Hello Fresh food delivery once a week so get the exact amount of ingredients we need every week so it doesn’t go to waste as we wasted so much money on food before ! and then we just buy little bits here and there like bread , cheese and your usual household things . Each month the same amount is usually spent so we get into the habit of what we know we will have to live on . January is always very hard , I get that.
Try not to be so cautious and don’t limit yourself like you are , document your money and you can work our what’s what at the start of the month or whenever you get paid , and you should be ok x

@Isleepinahedgefund - you are right. Im in a panic and don't know where to start. Typical ostrich behaviour.

The money won't get paid, however much I badger. At the time it was fine to let them off paying it as I knew they were worse off than me, but I have been very clear over the last few weeks as to the situation it is leaving me and my family in. At the moment I have a husband who is due to go away with work on Wednesday for 2 nights and no cash available for him to get a meal - he is already taking home made rolls for the journey down and lunch the following day so needs one, maybe 2 evening meals. Breakfast is included. He gets subs but has to claim them back after the event. There is no option for subs to be paid in advance.

I always avoid documenting spends and excuse it as I am no good with numbers, although when I worked finances were my main role!! but the reality is I am scared to see it in black and, well, mostly red. Are the spreadsheets on excel any good as I don't want to reinvent the wheel or recommendations for a site where I can download one?

Like others say you need a spreadsheet.

Once you've done the basics, though - you'll get a better return on your time if you spend extra efforts on bringing more money in rather than cutting to the bone. You'll also be a lot safer in the event of anything going wrong. You are in such a precarious position right now if for example your DH became ill, or you had a sudden unexpected expense like a car problem or a break-in.

What age are your DCs? People often focus a lot on term time jobs as the only option, but especially once DCs are all school age, finding a job for 2-3 days a week year round might be a lot easier, and cover extra childcare costs, especially if for example you and friends can swap looking after each others kids in school holidays. If you have a partner who works you can also split some leave to cover school holidays and you'd be surprised how much can be covered, and leave you with far more job options.

In the meantime, have you looked into any short term evening or weekend work? Or even attending things like focus groups when kids are at school during the day can provide bits of extra cash.

MoneySavingExpert has a downloadable budget spreadsheet:

www.moneysavingexpert.com/banking/Budget-planning/#bplanner

@Stuckforthefourthtime - my DC KS2 x 3 and 1x KS4. Oldest is more than capable of taking care of themselves. including during school holidays. Younger ones would need adult supervision due to additional needs and oldest not being quite old enough to be left responsible for more than short trips. Previously PIL helped out with childcare when DC were small but ill health has prevented them from doing as much as they would like in recent years - my inlaws are truly amazing grandparents. DH could self roster his hours better while he is able to (temp promo with self rostering benefit) to enable me to find a part time year round job but I think he has got used to the status quo of me being the one who is available and who does all the running around - it's really going to have to stop isn't it? There's a company advertising in walking distance of home which would be perfect if they would allow part time hours. I've emailed them to ask.

It is definitely a case of needing to bring more in rather than reducing outgoings. We are already social lepers, don't smoke, hardly drink (and have a well stocked drinks cabinet from years of alcoholic gifts which haven't been drunk, I've been known to gift full bottles to friends and family when funds were tight in the past and they would like the drink).

I have done carboots in the past but I've got to the point where we have little of saleable value, or what is, people just don't want at the moment. I've a wardrobe full of dresses bought in flush times for evening events that DH and I have attended, or bought in the sale for the next one and a dress size slightly too small with the intention of dieting into it (yeah right). No one wants them because of the size, or the style. But they are too good to just give away. I've now contacted shop a couple of hours away which will sell them on commission to see if its something they would be able to sell - eBay and other selling pages just aren't shifting them.

Focus groups like Ipsos? I think I am signed up for them but nothing in our area. I keep an eye on the survey type sites and often put through a few while I am waiting for appointments or the like - dead time.

@stuckforthefourthtime - you are right, I feel like anything could just tip us over the edge. DH is lucky that his job would pay him 6 months full pay on the sick, but its not somewhere we ever want to be relying on as they will also get rid of people if they are off too long. No one is ever indispensable.

I think you are dealing with circumstances as much as anything else op. And you're doing your best, never forget that.

Maybe sign up to topcashback, I did this a while ago and have £90 there incase of emergencies.

Another one saying you MUST do a spreadsheet, a written budget.

I am disabled and on benefits and have been on benefits of some form for the last 17 years even when working full time. So I have HAD to budget, watch my spending and learn how to shop savvy.

I’m still on legacy benefits for now except I’m now on pip and not DLA which was a recent change for me.

This means my money doesn’t come in calendar monthly - any of it!

Yet like everyone else my rent and most bills ARE paid calendar monthly so I HAVE to be Uber organised.

Housing benefit - 4 weekly
ESA - fortnightly
Pip - 4 weekly but not the same week as any others

So I have had to create a 4-weekly “monthly” budget

The way I work it is “week 1” is the week housing Ben gets paid. Weeks 1&3 ESA is paid and week 4 pip is paid. It used to be week 2 DLA was paid so week 4 was “fallow” week but now it’s week 2 I don’t get anything which has thrown me a bit.

As a result I cannot have all “monthly” bills going out the same week (which when I worked and was paid pcm I had bills go out week after I was paid so they were done and dusted which I think a lot of people try to do)

There are some bills I have no choice on when they need paid - rent, council tax, tv licence come to mind.

But others are more flexible so I work it that they’re spread across the month.

In addition I shop around as much as I can (being housebound currently) and haggle as much as possible.

Also take advantage of special offers, bulk buying etc.

If you post your outgoings either here or on the money saving expert site - or both! You’ll get loads of ideas on where and how to save money.

But also are you getting all the INcome you’re eligible for? You say you’re a Sahm and if your partner is a low earner you should be getting some help.

The job market is horrendous at the moment unfortunately and term time only jobs always like hens teeth - and much coveted so the people already in them rarely leave them until their dc are at least past the needing childcare stage!

What are your qualifications & experience? What kind of jobs are you looking at?

I think really you need to be realistic too about what jobs you’re applying for and consider applying for pretty much any job you meet the requirements for and can get childcare for which doesn’t leave you worse off than you are now. If your partner already working if they’re doing “office hours” could you do eves & weekends around their hours? That way no childcare costs.

Also - loyalty cards! Get them for every shop you use. The points/rewards take time to build up but come in very handy once they do.

Do you have any currently that may be useful to dh for meals while he’s away?

Also voucher hunt - online but also keep an eye out for flyers through your door (here I get farmfoods leaflet through the door every week with a load of money off vouchers in), there’s often McDonald’s/Burger King vouchers on back of our bus and train tickets here.

Could you get an overdraft or credit card? I wouldn’t normally advise debt but as a TEMPORARY measure it’s better than not eating! BUT budget to pay it off ASAP and if you can get 0% interest deals.

Doesn’t have to be excel (although I personally prefer these as it’s what I’m used to - like you from work experience)

I’d be very interested in seeing others spreadsheets purely out of curiosity how they do them as I’ve been told my way is “odd”

IN WEEK 1

Housing Ben £x
ESA.

Pip.

Balance brought forward (here I have it set up so the balance carried forward from previous week is copied over to this cell)
TOTAL. (Autosum of all income)

OUT
Rent £x
Council tax £x
Home ins. £x
Gas/electric £x
Broadband £x
Tv licence £x
Mobile phone £x
Mobile phone ins £x
Netflix £x
Prime £x

Groceries £x
Clothes £x

Personal £x
Save £x

TOTAL (Auto sum of all outgoings)

Balance carried forward (equation input here - income less outgoings)

I keep an eye on my bank account via the app and note any differences on the spreadsheet/adjust as bills change.

My budget works kind of like a projection of where I “should” be so if I go over I try to bring it back the following week/month if I can.

An “underspend” gives me a bit of a kick I’ll admit.

I also have a written “statement of affairs” on a separate sheet which I regularly review - at least quarterly.

That’s a list of ALL monthly income and outgoings calculated as a calendar monthly amount so I can see at a glance roughly how much “leeway” I have monthly.

At times (mainly due to mh) I’m not keeping as close an eye as I like to and realise I’ve been overspending so I’ll go through online banking and see where that’s been happening and rectify as far as possible.

“he has got used to the status quo of me being the one who is available and who does all the running around - it's really going to have to stop isn't it?” I would say yes to that.

4 dc? He needs to step up on childcare.

@Graphista, thanks for the tip about checking what we are entitled to. I don't think there is anything as I checked a little while ago when our tax credits were cut. Dh had a good year for overtime and it meant we lost all our tax credits. Although we are in the process of applying for DLA for one of our children. There's always been a should we/shouldn't we apply for it. But as we have a formal diagnosis in place now it makes sense to at least try.

This morning I have printed off my last 3 months statements and highlighted all the regular income and outgoings which I am now putting on a spreadsheet. Once I've done this I shall look at the remaining transactions and add up the groceries and fuel, so essentials. Then I shall look at the rest of the transactions and work out what they are.

With regards to jobs, I would consider anything - told DH a long time ago I have done factory work before so I know I could do it again. But having looked at all the vacancies (most of the jobs round here are factory work), the start is too early to work with DH's shifts/breakfast club or are on rotating shifts. Although once I started work with a reasonable start time, I could let DH know my shift pattern in advance and he could roster himself around it within reason, providing mine didn't then change. Im tryong not to put obstacles in the way but I do feel sometimes I am hindering myself through fear.

On the short term, could you look at some private cleaning/housekeeping jobs, night time (or day time) baby sitting? Not maybe what you want forever but decent for some quick cash and free to advertise on local FB groups or cheap/free via sites like childcare.co.uk

How much is your partner on that you no longer get tax credits? If it was purely due to overtime which he’s no longer doing could you do a change of circumstances with tax credits?

WRT the DLA my main advice is NOT to even attempt to do the forms yourself, but to contact your local welfare rights office (council service usually in same part of council as social services) as they know their stuff.

I’ve done factory work too (among MANY other things) and I actually really enjoyed it. I left those jobs well one we were made redundant from that site because they sent that part of the products manufacturing overseas, the other 2 I left because well I was young and felt I “should” do something “better” as I had/have good qualifications and experience. But the pay and conditions were always good, there was great camaraderie, it was always a pretty relaxed atmosphere (as long as production levels were maintained, if we did slack off the bosses would give us a “kick” by banning radio for a couple of days or the odd bit of shouting across the shop floor “oi you’re here to work not gossip!” Which might seem “off” but it was fine and generally done in a jokey/warm hearted way) and good workers were recognised and rewarded over and above pay alone - vouchers, boxes of chocs etc. The work itself was mundane/repetitive but that never fussed me as I’m able to “take a vacation with my head” so I was able to keep up production but I’d be challenging myself in my head with pub quiz questions or trying to remember all the lyrics of a song on the radio. We used to sing along to some stuff and we’d tune in to quizzes and panel shows. We’d also be quite competitive which can “liven” things up so eg 1st person to reach 500 x made on a Friday gets their first drink bought for them in the pub later...last person to 500 had to buy it 😂

All very good natured.

With hindsight I wonder if I’d have been better off staying in the factory jobs, decent pay, USUALLY secure jobs (the redundancy was tech based not unusual for that production to end up overseas but other stuff there’s value in them being “British made” so unlikely for production to be moved), people I got along with working with as I’ve found factory people tend to be very straightforward whereas working in office or nhs jobs there was a LOT of talking behind people’s backs and stirring. I found if someone in a factory job had a problem they’d just say so! You’d maybe have a wee verbal Barney, person in the wrong would apologise and everyone would move on in about 15 mins! In addition in a factory job it’s VERY obvious if someone isn’t pulling their weight so others tend not to get the blame for someone else’s shirking, same tends to be true of retail too in smaller places. Office jobs it’s TOO easy to LOOK busy while doing sod all! Been guilty of it myself on occasion, though I’d never let anyone else take the blame for that.

Re early mornings - if that’s a “thing” where you are there may be nurseries or childminders that do earlier starts - might be worth asking around?

I know what you mean about job security. I was made redundant from the factory because they were changing the shifts from 7-4 mon to fri with every other weekend to 4 on 4 off 12 hour shifts, and I had already applied for, was waiting for a start date at an 'office career' job, which I left when we had our youngest because childcare negated my full time wage. But the job and colleagues were fab. No bitchiness like the office job. I did both jobs for a good amount of time.

WRT to tax credits, when I do the Gov calculator it tells me I should be able to get £500 thereabouts every 4 weeks, but when I've tried to claim they tell me I am not eligible. No one can explain why though, other than my husband earns too much. But on a base rate, he doesn't and he hasn't done significant overtime for quite sometime. I did wonder if there was a payment being taken which covered what we should be receiving.

Welfare rights office might also be able to help with the tax credits too.

January is a nightmare. When does your DH get paid - friday?

Yeah, payday Friday. Needless to say saw friend on the school run and she won't have anything for me until she gets paid on Friday either. She's apologetic but that won't put food on the table this week.

Rang tax credits and they've told me a universal credit claim was opened so that's the route Ive got to go down. Funny as I don't remember doing it and DH has had no need to so... but such is. Popped onto entitled to and it reckons we should get about £800 a month. So I am now going to work out what the login should be, or start a new claim, so I can get that sorted out. Im job-hunting anyway so I'm not worried about that side of things.

There's only one childminder in the village who services our school. I did train as a childminder myself but then we moved and the landlord isn't happy about me doing that in this house, even though I offered to provide additional insurance to cover the possibility of any damage to the property.

I pawned my mobile phone last month and dh's iPad this month to get a little extra money in temporarily. Not ideal as obviously I have to pay it back out of... well, I don't have to worry about that until payday fortunately and I am listing unwanted items on Ebay and local selling sites to try and get a little in sooner rather than later.

£800 a month would be lovely! The universal credit claim is weird, though, if you didn't do it. Can you check that?

You've had done amazing advice on here, but I really do think January is just a bad month. It's 5 weeks, plus some companies pay their December wages before Xmas, so that salary has to stretch over 5-6 weeks.

You've only got 4 more dinners to scrape together before payday. You'll be ok?

@AnuvvaMuvva - the scraping together meals isn't so bad. It's making sure dh has enough cash available for his work trips this week. I think I am just going to have to bite the bullet and ask the inlaws for a small loan again. They have already helped us out and I wouldn't ask again if I wasn't desperate. I have no family I can ask sadly.

I've gone through my income and expenditure that last 3 months with a fine tooth comb. I've noticed we've had a couple of expense heavy months leading up to January - Christmas obviously but also having to replace a couple of larger items in the house - tv and replacing batteries in laptops to get them working again - £60 each time as we tried the cheap ones and they just didn't work (got them refunded though). Plus DD1 had the first deposit for her school trip to be paid. DH is going to do overtime to pay for the rest of the trip over the next couple of months so it's not coming out of the regular income. Even if it did, it would leave us with a little spare still.

I am optimistic that once we get to the end of the month I will feel better, especially with a better idea of where our money has been going. And the 5 week month hasn't helped, even though I don't think we particularly blew cash just on xmas.

It will also help when DH isn't actually here to stress me out about money either. I can manage on a lot less than he can!!

The five week month right after Christmas is a killer!

I can guarantee that when you get into budgeting you will feel so much better knowing what you can spend on what. It probably will take you a couple of months to bed in the change, so forgive yourself if you slip up the first couple of months and persevere.

This has to be a joint effort with your DH too - no point you doing it if he won’t. It’s not reasonable for you to have to bear all the stress. I’m particularly taken with how you mention that YOU have to find the money for his meals while he’s away - what is he doing to find the money? What responsibility does he take for the finance?

I'm sure your PIL will happily lend your DH money so he can eat while he's away. Does he have enough to pay for travel? TBH, I'd let him ask them though, rather than you doing it.

It sounds as though you might well be entitled to some UC. Get budgeting in the meantime, then any £ you receive in benefits will be a welcome reprieve to start getting you out of the hand-to-mouth situation.

Have you signed up to YouGov? They do surveys in return for points. 5000 points = £50. It takes a long while to accumulate, but it's a nice bonus when you get there.

And definitely use cash back sites. It quickly adds up if you use them for insurance, big ticket items, gift shopping etc.

They have loaned us some. Fortunately the company have already paid for his travel and accommodation, Im dropping him at the station so we don't have to pay for parking for 48 hours. He could claim it back but we just don't have it to pay out and it's a long time for his car to be sat in a carpark unnecessarily. It also means the kids can wave him off properly too so will be better for them.

I'll have a look at yougov. I thought I had signed up to them a while ago but can't harm to see where I am. I've also found with the twins trust I can buy cash back cards, like gift cards, and I get cash back for using them, so I can buy one for the supermarkets I regularly use and then get a % back on any shopping I do there. Minimum to credit them is £10 so will have to wait for payday. But it will be a little bit more going back in my pocket. It can be withdrawn or added back onto the card once you've got £5 cash back. You can use some of them online too.

@Isleepinahedgefund - you are quite right that I feel responsible for all the finances. DH kind of sloped them off onto my shoulders when I became a SAHM, because I was at home and it made sense for me to know all the ins and outs because we had 4 small children at the time. I needed to know we could afford milk and food, clothes for them but then things got difficult as savings got lower, ran out and I wasn't as honest as I should have been at the time so we ran into problems financially.

I shouldn't feel responsible so part of the budget planning is showing DH exactly what comes in and what goes out. He's got into the habit of leaving it to me and putting out his hand when he needs some money as I manage his wages as well.

Just a thought and sorry if it's not the same for you.
Due to how it's billed, council tax and water payment is spread over 10 months not 12 months.

So there is less bills going out 01 Feb and 01 March.

I have said on previous threads and it is worth saying again, if you have a little spare money, use it to buy a supermarket gift card which can be spent when times are lean.

For DH, a Tupperware container of cold pasta from home for 1st evening and a pot noodle for second evening. Tbh, it's cold enough that food left in the car for a day would be fine and he can fill up at breakfast if it's included?

You NEED to get the money back from your friend. If they haven't paid back by the end of this week then start playing hard ball. I'm sure that they don't want you to go down the small claims route (why should you find their Christmas expenses?)