How do I sack my cleaner?

[WaynettaSlob]

I employed a cleaner about three months ago after I saw her ad in the post office window.
I'm not very happy with the standard of her work, and although I will leave her notes directing her on what she should be doing (nice, short ones like: please vacuum the stairs , or : please wash the kitchen floor)(neither of which really should need ot be specified, should they?) it's as though each new instruction causes her to forget the previous ones. On top of that, the stuff she does isn't very good anyway.
So, I have decided to give her the push. She comes every Thursday while I'm at work so I never actually see her. I will be at home next Thursday so the question is do I just give her her marching orders on thursday and take my key back, should I give her payment in lieu, and if so how much?
(I don't want her to have the key after she's been told she's sacked just in case she decides to trash the place.)
Any advice, oh wise ones?

Call her and say you've decided to do it yourself and would she mind please returning your key. That's what I'd do anyway. But I'm a coward, however, see my long cleaner thread, she is BRILLIANT and it turned out she was feeling upset at not being able to do a good enough job in the time alotted because she is v conscientious.

I remember that thread WWW.
Do I need to pay her any notice cash?

I wouldn't, the same as I wouldn't pay any temp notice. But my cleaner is truly brilliant, are you sure in your case it's not just a communication problem that could be sorted by a chat? (ooh get me being all reasonable now!)

I don't think a chat would sort it TBH. (and stop making me weaken my resolve . I'd understand if she was particularly good at one thing, but not at others, but she just doesn't seem to particularly care (for example she left a big stain on the kitchen floor)
Of course I haven't quite factored in how I am going to get the cleaning done, but I have thought that I might start a shoe fund, and put the money I would have paid her into that and see if that motivates me......

I sacked my cleaner for theft (verified - she was definitely helping herself). Strictly speaking I needn't have paid her, but to save myself the headache, when she turned up the next day I met her at the doorstep, said thanks, I've decided to do it myself, here's a payment in lieu of notice and give me your key now please.

Better not to warn her in advance or she could get the key copied - I know it's unlikely but I do know of someone whose former cleaner let herself in while the owner was at work and systematically stripped it of everything remotely valuable.