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Original poster

Inheritance question

20 replies

fikel · 02/01/2020 18:19

I will soon be receiving an inheritance from my late Auntie. It isn’t a massive amount but a nice little sum.
Myself and my brother met my Aunt because my cousin managed to find her after she cut herself off for decades. I was lucky to have a wonderful relationship with her for the years that she had left but she turned against my cousin and has re written her will cutting her out. Her share is now going to the next door neighbour’s husband.
My question is should I give something to my cousin, I have spoken to my brother and he has said no as we wouldn’t be honouring our aunts wishes.

OP posts:
Redred2429 · 02/01/2020 18:27

I think It would depend on the reason your aunt and her fell out if she was ur I would give her something

Original poster
fikel · 02/01/2020 18:55

My aunt saw everything in black and white, my cousin didn’t do anything wrong except make a comment about our grandmother based on her childhood memories

OP posts:
schoolrummum · 02/01/2020 22:50

Is the cousin the daughter of your aunt? If so she may have legal rights despite the will. If not then you do not have to share anything with your cousin unless you want to.

christmasathome · 02/01/2020 23:03

Yes is cousin her daughter or just another cousin? If just another cousin then no. If a daughter then thats tricky and you might want to think carefully about cutting her a share.

Original poster
fikel · 03/01/2020 22:48

No she’s not her daughter

OP posts:
Drum2018 · 03/01/2020 22:54

Don't be daft. She's not her daughter so why would you give her anything? Even if she was her daughter you still should respect your aunts wishes. Keep the money for yourself.

Original poster
fikel · 03/01/2020 23:01

Thank you for the advice I guess I just feel sorry for my cousin but then I understand I should honour my aunts wishes

OP posts:
SwedishEdith · 03/01/2020 23:04

Are you close to the cousin? Or on good terms with them? What you choose to do with the money once it's yours is still 'honouring' the will. So, it depends. You may well damage any relationship you have with the cousin though. Depends why she turned against the cousin as well.

user1497207191 · 03/01/2020 23:16

She'd probably still whinge if she didn't get what she thought was her fair share. Best to fulfil her wishes as per her will - if that means cousin gets nothing, so be it.

nettie434 · 04/01/2020 05:44

In the circumstances I definitely would give the cousin something. The next door neighbour’s husband (why only him Confused?) would probably have inherited everything if your cousin had not reestablished contact with your aunt.

Whatever your brother chooses to do, once you receive your share, you can give your cousin something.

Digestive28 · 04/01/2020 07:20

I think it would be the kind thing to do, to give your cousin something.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 04/01/2020 09:07

Is there a valid reason why the aunt cut her out?

A childless aunt of dh cut out one of his brothers because of his seriously spendthrift wife (she really was) - she didn’t want her having any of her carefully saved money to splurge.

However by the time the aunt died, BiL was divorced, so the other brothers agreed to dish out his original fair share.

If you like your cousin and feel that the cause of the falling out was trivial, then I dare say that you’ll feel more comfortable if you share some of the money.

Original poster
fikel · 04/01/2020 09:17

I don’t really know my cousin that well, I have met her once, she lives in NZ. We communicate through Facebook and she was in contact with my aunt a number of years before she told my brother she had found her. My brother was the one that told me about my aunt and that’s how I made contact. A bit long winded but my reconnection came indirectly through my cousin

OP posts:
SwedishEdith · 04/01/2020 14:25

Then what you and your brother have both got is an unexpected bonus that you wouldn't have got without your cousin's help.

ivykaty44 · 04/01/2020 17:12

It’s your money to do as you wish, you can spend it on a cat, give some to charity or give it away to a sailor

We live in a free country and regardless of what anyone else wants or their wishes - you are your own person

So do what you like

Just as your aunt did as she wanted

Ellisandra · 04/01/2020 23:47

I just want to know why her next door neighbour’s husband is not just also, her next door neighbour!

Original poster
fikel · 04/01/2020 23:55

The reason I guess I singled out the husband because his wife had already been left a very high percentage of the estate. My cousin’s 10% has been given to the husband

OP posts:
Ellisandra · 04/01/2020 23:59

Ah, that makes sense. Thank you for answering what was just a nosy question Blush it just seemed an odd turn of phrase!

If the cousin was her daughter, and the falling out the mother’s fault, I would say there’s a moral reason to share.

But it wasn’t - so I would just leave it.

flirtygirl · 05/01/2020 12:43

If you want to then give her something from your share, you don't have to discuss it with anyone. I would give her something and others would not. Do what feels good for you.

When someone has passed they have gone but you are still here, so if you will regret not giving her something then do it so you have no regrets.

The people who talk about the passed person' wishes are copping out as the wishes may have changed but the will may not have been updated. Also the person may have regretted whatever choices they had already made with their dying breath, the point is the living don't know. The living should do the best for everyone but I think some people get selfish and talk about wishes especially when they gain more.

Drum2018 · 05/01/2020 19:34

You've met her once? Keep your money for yourself. If she pissed of your aunt for whatever reasons, that wasn't your problem.

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