I’ve just gone through 12 months of bank transactions and am mortified

[Crabonastick]

I can’t believe how awful I have been with money

DH and I still have separate bank accounts. All the household bills come out of mine and he transfers me half the cost of the bills and buys the food shop....

Here are a few of my revelations

1. We spent almost as much on nursery fees as we did on rent.
2. I spent £3,884 on supermarket food on TOP OF the food shop 😭
3. over £1600 on take away and coffees
4. over £2k on transactions I couldn’t even categorise

What a bloody awful eye opener

I think things like buying coffees at work or on the way to work can add up so much and lunches etc. I have some work colleagues who are very low incomes same as I am yet think nothing of buying café nero coffee everyday and £4 on a subway lunch then moan about not being able to afford a short break away. It's madness.

Can I ask you all about Monzo?
I thought that they didn't do a card anymore?
Can you just apply online?
Tia

It always surprises me when people don't know this tbh. Surely everytime you pay £3 for a coffee you must know that it's adding on the the last £3 and the £3 before that?

Rather then gimmicky apps and cards, teach yourself to think 'do I really need this' and to shop frugally.

I use a budgeting app on my phone and it really helps me.

I'm determined to cut down!

DH and I have been noting down our expenses since we met. First on paper now on an app - I read mine out to excel, checked over the last bank statement and am now waiting for his info.We share all family costs 50/50.

Tonight I will be able to tell how the year went. The app makes me categories and subcategorise everything I spend. I may even create a graph .

*It always surprises me when people don't know this tbh. Surely everytime you pay £3 for a coffee you must know that it's adding on the the last £3 and the £3 before that?

Rather then gimmicky apps and cards, teach yourself to think 'do I really need this' and to shop frugally.*

I think we all know at the back of our heads but bury our heads in the sand. Being confronted with the actual figures was a shock to the system.

Clearly trying to teach myself ‘do I really need this’ without gimmicky cards and apps hasn’t worked for me. I know I don’t need that coffee and that take away but still bought it anyway. So hopefully, giving myself an allowance with a gimmicky card and leaving my main card at home will help a bit more.

Love Monzo.
I transfer 500 each payday to use throughout the month, which means I have money in my main account left to stick into savings.
I use Gousto for 4 dinners a week, and have been using Lidl and Iceland instead of Tesco (unless I need something specific).
Big difference over the past year.

@Prokupatuscrakedatus @ImTheCaddy can you recommend the apps you use please?

I get my shopping delivered from Tesco. Means l know how much I'm spending, not tempted by in store item's and don't use my precious time trudging round the shop.

I'm only "loyal" to Tesco for the clubcard points as l use them towards days out. I know others say Tesco is expensive compared to Aldi, Asda etc but l don't purchase branded item's anyway.

I also have different accounts that l have SO set up for on pay day - so separate accounts for Christmas, car, days out, house maintenance. This then means l have ££ ready for when those bills crop up yes I'm looking at you Car

I also have a little notebook that l keep a running total of my bank balance so l always know what l have in there - also helps me identify unrecognised purchases quickly.

I have an excel spreadsheet to lay out my budget and track my spends. I also track my spends on my online banking - and they have a handy feature allowing you to set budgets for the month for different categories so I have a fair idea how it is looking.

I allow myself up to €800 per month for groceries. This includes alcohol, cleaning materials and also the groceries I get in M&S near work for my desk drawer snacking (fruit, packs of nuts, sometimes crisps, sometimes some sparkling water and an occasional lunch). Many months it is under that, but it means when good deals are on, I am happy to stock up, I have discretion for convenience food when life goes haywire, and also that I can spend a fair amount on Christmas groceries (including all the treats etc) because I have allowed for it. (I spent just over my annual "allowance" last year - which was a particularly bad year for needing conveniences and not doing well with the freezer).

I do the same for petrol (allow for 1.5 tanks per month), as across the year that works out about right (many months are less than a tank, but there are a few months where I have long journeys for work or Scouts or seeing DPs to factor in).

I don't do it for everyday coffees, as I give myself €50 per week for discretionary spending including coffees. But I have a pot for eating out and takeaways.

I have one for clothes, another for stationary (secondary school DD - so it needs its' own pot!), another for books (weakness of mine), etc.

I also have a habit of "paying myself first". Before I even get my paycheque, there is money taken out and sent to the credit union at work on a monthly basis (well, every fortnight, when I get paid). And I also have an SO set up to put more into different savings in the middle of every month (as I generally pay any bills at the start of the month).

And I do try and keep to only spending the €50 per week, covering things like coffees, lunches (I bring salad from home a lot but eat out occasionally too), occasional magazine or bar of chocolate for eating on the train at the end of a bad day at work.....many weeks I still have cash in my wallet at the weekend.

And while I have a large groceries budget, it covers a lot, and as I mentioned includes when we host events at home (dinners or BBQs etc) and also Christmas. I grow some of our own veg (I'd like to do more but both time and space restrict me). I do a lot of cooking from scratch, batch cooking and freezing, and buying yellow-stickered food that we would eat anyway and freezing....and will happily use coupons as well on things we would buy anyway - but also need to be able to have things for when life goes haywire, DD (SNs) is in a controlling phase and won't eat what is planned, or just the general busyness of our lives means we need some conveniences and short-cuts.

I added up my potential for savings this year earlier - if I stuck to that, I could have a large pot at the end of this year. But I know that there are spends I haven't yet allowed for (including holidays, and a realistic amount for DD school/equipment/hobbies costs). But I am aiming to keep spending on clothes for myself as low as possible, and also to reduce the grocery spend at least somewhat this year.

I trialled HyperJar for the mumsnet insight panel and am using it to keep a lid on overspending.... it's like the envelope/ jar system of budgeting but digitally... has been useful so far in identifying where the overspend comes from....

I've also just gone through our transactions and am appalled! We've spent almost £3000 at the local Co-Op in a year. Given we get a food shop every week, I don't know how on Earth we've managed it (well I do, popping in for one thing and spending £20 on shite). I've also spent way more than £1000 on clothes for my baby DD

We are very fortunate that we can afford it but I want to rein it in so we have switched our joint account to Monzo and implemented a ban on the corner shop! I've also sorted out DD's clothes and bought most of her stuff for the next year in the sales. I'm going to start planning our meals properly too so we aren't tempted to nip out to get stuff. Our monthly food budget is more than enough so I don't know what we've been playing at!

1. Childcare is fucking expensive, that's not news.

2. If "he's paying the food shop" but you're still buying loads of groceries, your DH isn't really paying the food shop now is he?

3. This is one you might work to reduce. But if you work, it may depend on your workplace - if your only choice is expensive coffee shop or no tea/coffee at all, I understand buying at the expensive coffee shop.

4. Sometimes the little things do seem to all add up.

PS: A decent money-saver for me has been getting in the routine of making a packed lunch the previous night, rather than buying from Gregg's/Tesco/etc all the time. Fortunately my office has free tea.

We use Monzo for non direct debit spends. Eg food/petrol/cinema.
But we pay ourselves weekly on a Wednesday so if we've been profligate on the weekend its only 2 days til 'payday' again. And any money left on Tuesday evening goes into a savings pot.
Its certainly focussed and reduces my spending.

@safariboot I agree re the food shop. I said to him that this is supposed to be his responsibility but he puts such little thought into it that i end up paying all that money to sort it out (not to mention the amount of waste because he doesn’t look in the fridge before ordering). I’ve now taken this over and am meal planning. Have also told him that he is clearly not spending enough every week and not to moan when he sees the bill

I do work in the most expensive part of London which is heaving with poncy shops and cafes. I’ve started taking in home made wraps When I’m in the office