I'm ashamed to say I don't know the first thing about budgeting

[Bitofnamechanging]

I'm early thirties with a husband and two children.
We're in 13k of credit card debt. We love beyond our means. We don't have much but just living makes us go over budget easily.

I pay the Bill's and dh pays for incidental (kind of but really we put stuff on the credit card).

My bills are roughly 1k per month including mortgage and we both have cars to run which are essential to our work.

I think a joint account would be best but I don't know whether to include food shop in that budget.

Our income is so variable that we cant say we have x coming in so much y on bills and z left over for spending money. Some months I'll earn £1500, other months I'll earn like £100. Dh is the same

OP, as soon as you pay back some of the credit card debt that is not on the 0%, your credit rating will go up.

Therefore you may be able to get another 0% card to shift some of the debt.

And keep going like that. It lifts the weight off you.

I think it is much harder to budget when your income is variable. When you list all your outgoings, record whether they are weekly or monthly. For instance, most councils collect council tax over 10 months April-January inclusive. My water rates are collected over 8 months.

I had a phase recording everything I spent, as some posters have suggested, and I was surprised at how much my spending varied each month over the year. It will also help you see if there is a pattern to your income - e.g. if either of you tend to do better/worse in certain months.

Once you have worked out your budget, then you might find things easier if you set up a household spending budget and both pay into it. It’s easier to have an ‘essentials’ account and another for personal spending and/or big irregular bills. The way you split things at the moment makes it harder for both of you to keep on top of things. In my opinion (and without knowing the interest rate), the way your husband pays off bills in chunks makes it harder for you to smooth your spending out.

Good luck. It will get better and a new decade is a great time to start making changes.

82p from asda! I'm going to start going after work as I finish around 8pm.

@nettie434 I agree with you. His way of not budgeting really doesn't help matters as I don't know what we can spend. I'm trying to convince him to pay £200 a month towards the debt and use his 2.5k at the end of jan for living expenses but he's still adamant he should put it towards debt. I can't make the budget balance without that money (I've taken the annual amount and divided by 12)

Is it that your DH can't understand the principle of budgetting with variable income or is he refusing to acknowledge the reality of the situation you're in?

I can't make the budget balance without that money

You need to keep saying this in loud and increasingly urgent tones.

Tell him - you CANNOT FEED THE FAMILY AND PAY THE BILLS if he pays money off the credit card.

He needs to understand that if he pays off the credit card without sitting down to work out the family budget beforehand, you will never get out of debt because you will have to keep using the credit card to survive.

Show him the spread sheet

Show him how to manage money in the Munzo app. Make sure the app pings when money is taken or shows a balance.

He also needs to be involved in bill paying facts and figures and get out of the treats mindset.

Set targets - challenge him to a £10 spend for a week. See how he thinks about what he spends it on. You have to make solid choices when money is limited.

This is short term.

DH will get a better paid job
Nursery fees will stop
You can work more hours when they are in school