New partner moving in - how much should he contribute

[AliceR1]

Hi guys (ladies), just in your views on this.

I have my own mortgage on 3 bed terrace (£1000 per month) and two children from previous relationship aged 4 and 8, new partner does not have any kids. He’s moving in with us from rented 1 bed flat where he pays £900 rent.

How much money is it reasonable to ask for. I don’t want to be overly kind and generous as not to end up in a trap where I’m covering too much and end up having no money to spend on myself. He works full time and although I don’t know exactly what he earns, I knows what he pays for rent currently and obviously has bills, car running costs etc and can cover that.

Shared expenses, once he’s moved in, are housing (£1000), council tax (£180) other bills, gas water electric (£200) food (£450).

I’m not interested in having him on my mortgage or a joint account because I’ve worked hard over the years to become financially independent and am responsible for my own children.

Your views are welcome!

My partner moved 4 years ago to my flat. I rent it. He gives me £500 monthly. After this time I realised he had found a mug in me. He earns 3 times more than me- I work full time but I am on min wage and obviously I don’t claim anything for my children as I live with a partner. My salary goes towards the bills ( I have £200 left after paying for everything). I also have £200 child maintenance so my partner thinks I have a lot of money left to survive. He said to me very clearly that my children are nothing to do with him and he was not going to contribute towards them. I understand that he is not biological father but he knew I had children and to be honest I thought that my life would be easier with him. Of course I am very grateful for this £500 as it helps me a lot but it doesn’t sit well with me that he is wealthy and his money pile grows as living with me he only saves. I wish I could spend only £500 a month and save the rest. He pays me as he said for the roof over his head but I do everything for him like washing, cooking, cleaning. He never told me how much he earns but I found out he has around £5000 income a month so comparing to me he has a lot. I can only dream about holiday or buying nice things. I live from one month to the other with nothing left. Especially now during cost of living raising so rapidly I worry every day praying my washing maschine doesn’t break because I would have to take a loan to buy a new one. I could spend a whole day to moan but I don’t want to do this.

You pay for the mortgage and any house repairs because that is yours. The council tax, food bills, utility bills should be shared in proportion to your income to your partner's income.

@SylviaSylvia1 you need to start your own thread really. Otherwise people are just going to reply to the Original Poster's question, from back in 2019!

I will just say though that your partner is treating you terribly , he is taking advantage to enable himself to save, when he is already pretty well off. His attitude to your kids is horrible, and why are you running round doing things for him?

His income is also probably stopping you being able to claim help from the government for your kids. That's because the government assumes that a couple living together pool their finances, but he has no intention of doing this, he made that clear.

Appalling man, please get rid, for your self respect and if not for that at least for your children's sake!

so you're intimate with a man in bed but don't know what he earns...

aside from that he needs to be paying his way, will you lose any benefits due to him moving in?

obviously you'll lose the 75% rate on council tax so thats an expense

i'd say he needs to be paying 50% of all bills as its your home, nothing less and no more than 60%