Are you or do you know anyone in poverty?

[Rayn]

Just that really. We are by no means well off and manage payday to payday and might have to cut back on luxuries now and again but we are not in poverty.
However a family member recently mentioned something about going to a food bank and I was shocked. She has always seemed to be ok , rent paid, odd day out etc but nothing flash!

She is a single parent has always worked but due to universal credit and how it works is now having to go to a food bank. I just don't know how it has got to this? Not her fault by any means but FFS it's 2019!

I have a wide range of friends in different financial circumstances but when I think about it more and more are struggling.

With regards to family member we have offered her some money even though we can't really afford it but can't see her in this situation at Xmas.
I know it's in the news all the time about children in poverty but I never really thought about it affecting people who always seemed to manage ok.

Do you think people are too proud to admit they are in poverty. Genuine poverty where they have to go to food banks?

Just might be worth bearing in mind that people won't admit it as feel embarrassed even though it's not their fault. Just feel like I need to help more but don't know how!

I earn next to nothing and don't claim benefits or get maintenance. I don't think we are living in poverty though, for lots of reasons.

I do live in an area which is quite poor, so no doubt there are many around me who are living in poverty. I also work with lot of people who earn very little. People don't usually talk openly about their finances, unless you know them really well.

We are fortunate to not be living in poverty but we are very aware it is the norm for many people. We are older and DH's career has progressed which has enabled us to support DS through university and to now start saving. However in the 90s we were both working fulltime and the mortgage rate on our average house was 15% which along with full time child care (no tax credits then) totally crippled us and we lost our home with negative equity. On the surface we looked like we were doing fine but we literally lived on the cheapest of beans, bread etc and our debts were sky high. I will never forget this time in our life, it was horrendous. I support a relative with a young family when I can without going over the top because I understand how difficult it can be at times to put food on the table.

@GirlRaisedInTheSouth that is a very slippery slope using alcohol to deal with stress.

@ Babyroobs this is the problem not many employers are informed about UC and neither was my friend when she left her job to care for her dc. She may have carers and DLA coming in however that is not the point this money is used for her children and their needs. UC is awful and is a massive cause of helping create more poverty in the most vulnerable people in our society. Evidence has also linked UC to an increase in suicides. Nothing about this benefit is positive.

Yes quite a few people, including a family member who was recently street homeless and also one of my closest friends who was close to that point, and another who is a wheelchair user that had her children removed as she couldnt afford to look after them.
I know many people who would be classed as in poverty of some type, even working full time, and some in deeper than that.
The situation is dire

I used to be poor - really poor, aged 15 with one pair of shoes with cardboard insoles to cover the holes, one coat, the sleeves moving up my arms year on year. I used education to escape, luckily my family valued it.

As my children grow up in relative comfort we always donate to the school's hardship fund - helps other kids afford uniform/school equipment etc. I make sure my kids understand what it meant to people like me.

(it still brings a tear to my eye when I look at the shoe rack and see that I personally own 6 pairs of well cared for shoes - no holes!)

@ BeyondMyWits I know what you mean, I feel the same. it’s lovely that you donate and have not forgotten the hardship many families face. I believe many truly do not understand how awful it is until they’ve been there. I grew up in a working class family until my late teens, my husband and his family on the other hand did not and don’t understand living from wage to wage.

I don't know anyone in true poverty but we are friends with a family who have very little to spare. They both work but are low earners, she's only part time and I think they get some tax credits. They have to plan their shopping very carefully to make their money stretch and last the month. One day the mum was telling me they had been to the zoo and had a great day, and said "I'm so glad we saved up for it". The youngest would have had free entry, so they had to save up for two adults and a child to go to the zoo which would have cost about £40. And they brought sandwiches from home so there wouldn't have been much extra spending when they got there.

We are not rich but we are by no means struggling and are most definitely not in a position where we would have to save up for a £40 day out. If we fancied going to the zoo we would just go. And this one throwaway statement really made me stop and think and realise quite how privileged and lucky we actually are. I've never forgotten it. It's also made me conscious of not organising things for my group of friends that not everyone might be able to afford.

I consider your friend's situation to be normal though @evilharpyinapeartree . That is "normal", not "poverty", or anywhere near it, for me.
"Poverty" wouldn't be able to afford the zoo.

To this day I'd take a picnic on a day out, and when my dc were little we'd do one "big trip" - like going to the zoo - per year. I'm sure that's the same for most families across the country (I'm aware MN isn't really representative of the population as a whole).

@Backforgood sorry I probably didn’t explain myself very well. I didn’t mean I consider my friend to be living in poverty - she isn’t. Her family have enough to eat and pay their rent even if not much is left for treats. I just meant that I haven’t directly experienced poverty but the zoo incident helped me to understand and appreciate my own privilege and be more conscious that even if someone is not living in poverty it doesn’t mean that their life is just like mine and I should not make assumptions.

The picnic thing was just that they weren’t going to have any further expense when they got there so the thing that had to be saved up for was just the cost of two adult and one child tickets and I was a bit shocked that someone I would not consider to be poor would have to plan ahead and save for this. It was just a bit of an eye opener.

I’m being a bit clumsy here I realise!

Friend who is living in the marital home. Large 4 bed detached.

Nasty divorce from abusive husband that is in its 3rd year

Friend is badly disabled due to her stbexhs actions.

She thinks he or his family keep ringing the benefits office reporting her for claiming money fraudulently

The first time they stopped her income for a year before she went to a tribunal and they awarded her the top rate disability back dated for a year.

Her friends helped her as much as we could.

One friend took her shopping each week someone else filled up her car. I have loaned her money for bills.
We all pitched in.

But having stuff backdated doesn’t cover stuff she put on credit card and the interest that was run up.

She too has visited food banks but looking at her driving around and living in a fancy house (which she has stripped selling things just so her and her 2 children survive) you would think she was every bit a wealthy person.

Her ex is in a cash business and despite spending nearly £60k per year on the children’s private schools and accommodation for them school he has stated he only earns a 1/3 of that

I regularly see patients who can't afford their prescription items. These are people who work but have a chest infection requiring antibiotics, steroids and an inhaler, because they didn't want to call in sick before it got really bad due to no sick pay, so instead have a £27 bill and still no pay for a week. Or patients prescribed a strong anti-inflammatory who refuse the medication prescribed alongside it to protect them from stomach ulcers.

muddlemidget - people on low incomes can get an NHS low income exemption card so that they get free prescriptions/ dental care etc. You can apply and it will run for a year.

I dont know anyone who lives in poverty though i have known it myself when i was younger.

I have a friend who one day doubled his net wealth by finding a £2 coin on the floor

moving him into the homeless shelter, 58 years of belongings fitted into the boot of my car

and the UK just voted for more of the same

I do work with the public and i do see the odd situation where people are clearly in a challenging position.

I'm currently in poverty for the first time in my life. I have always worked with a good income. Ended up ill 2 years ago and currently having to claim universal credit. I had a break down along with a few on going health issues and became housebound on morphine to help me live day to day. They set all my jobcenter appointments by phone expect one and decided to sanction me as I never realised it was a visit to the jobcenter. I've lost everything. In arrears with rent, can't afford Xmas for my DD, can't get to food banks and pretty much have to survive day to day on nothing. They have left me with £277.08 a month for sometime now. I live in the country side so now have no transport to main towns or gp. I have no family or friends as I have insulated myself due to the break down so pretty much alone. I'm close to giving up my daughter and ending it all. I can't supply her a Christmas or get to family who live 250 miles away togive her a half decent Xmas. It's a pretty rubbish life at the moment. I have never ever had to live like this before.

Me , I think I fall under that category anyway. Don't drink or smoke, never go out. It's just me and dd (7). I work 3 days a week and have uni 2 days a week ( paid for by student finance Wales ) also have tax credits. I definitely don't overspend and if it was just the basics then I could just manage. But when something happens ( like something breaks or dd needs something unexpected for school ) that's when I find I don't have enough. I regularly have 1 meal a day or go to a friends for dinner so that dd is fed properly and never hungry. She doesn't notice but it's constant anxiety. Saying that though , I do think tax credits pay enough , like I said I can cover the basics so I'm thankful for that and don't think I am entitled to more. If I want luxuries then I have to earn that myself ( hence uni ) x

Imagine a huge jolly marble run with all sorts of slides and lifts, springs and wobbly bridges.

And underneath a couple of huge funnels to catch any marbles that fall off, one underneath the other.
There's a net between the marble run and the funnels. The marbles that get through the funnels end up on the floor.

For a while the run was configured with safety features and the net caught most of the marbles that fell off the run for any reason.

If you're a marble on the run you concentrate on staying on it, probably dont think about the net too much unless you've seen others fall, or fall through. You might not notice the safety features that have been removed on the other side.

You might not notice how much of the net has been removed.

The funnels are called poverty and destitution. The floor is death.

Babyroobs have you seen the form you have to fill in to get the exemption card?

@Debwenn

Please don't give up, your daughter needs you, one Christmas is not make or break, she may remember it or she may not, however she'll always remember you not being there. One bad Christmas will not define her life. Duvets and Christmas films on the sofa, board games, a piece of paper with something on that you have to guess from clues - she'll remember the laughter, the closeness. I've had to do this when leaving an abusive relationship, we didn't have so much as a bauble never mind decorations, we made some on Christmas Eve from some wrapping paper I begged from work and empty boxes and loo rolls. They were shit, and I cried when DD went to sleep, but now, 12 years on she insists on getting them out because they're precious to her - she now understand that I had nothing to give her but my time and attention and I think those decorations symbolise that for her.
Can you contact your nearest food bank and ask if they have arrangements for disabled people in your situation?
Look up charities, the salvation army might be a good place to start, or charities for your illness, or connected to the job you did? I found out about a charity for hospitality workers at the time I was in a dire situation, I'd never even heard of such a thing, but they exist and they helped me when I most needed it.
I'm so sorry you're going through this 💐

Technically my brother is in poverty, based on minimum income for a single person after housing costs. He lives in the North in an inherited house and has few outgoings, but keeps chickens and grows a lot of his own veg and stocks up his freezer with yellow sticker meat etc from his local supermarket/ batch cooks etc.
I don't think he'd consider himself in poverty, but he rarely buys new things and struggles if he has sudden unexpected costs. I think he earns less than £100/week.

Can people just turn up at food banks or do you have to be referred?

I mean, do people who don't need help abuse the system?

I was at one stage. If it wasn't for family l would have been using food Banks. I went from a well paid job to redunancdy when kids where teenagers. I was a a single mum with no savings and no child support from ex. Unfortunately was 2007 the economy crashed l couldn't get another job. Benefits were not enough to pay bills. debts and stuff kids needed as well as food. Luckily my parents were comfortable and bought me food and helped out. Then l got some cash in hand work until l got a job again
Yes you can live on benefits if you careful. But you screwed if your cooker or washing machine breaks. Or your kids suddenly grow a size and need new everything.
I'm so happy l will not had to do that for a year. I'm not well off now but at least l can eat everyday rather than saving everything for teenagers to eat.
I ways remember my son's friend bringing round some pasta because day before l went a bit short as him and my son had come home from school and eaten all the pasta which was dinner for the next 3days for family. Not good times at all.so gals l don't have to deal with universal credit.

Yes you have to be reffered to a food bank and can only go a certain amount of times. No one is using a food bank for fun