Can earning more than your partner cause issues ?

[Shelby888]

Me and my partner have been together for over 2 years now, In that time I have recently just qualified as a chartered accountant.

We have a really strong relationship and never have had any problems of such but as of recently he has spoken out his insecurity of my earning potential and I may leave him behind. I have reassured him countless times this has been brought up that money doesn't matter... He works as a gas engineer and earns fairly good money (roughly £35k) he bought his first house 4 years ago and I have just moved in with him.

I have recently just had a pay rise and now earn more than him but I have held this back from him as I don't want to hurt his feelings.

Have any of you had these problems ? I just don't know what I can say or do to reassure him. I should imagine a lot of woman out earn their partners in this day and age!

Some people love to jump on the high horse about how secure and wonderful their partner and relationship are. The op didn't say her oh was a sexist pig, or abusive or nasty or anything of the sort. She said as of recently he has spoken out his insecurity of my earning potential and I may leave him behind.

The replies have included:
'sad that he cannot celebrate your success rather than feel emasculated by it'
'Your partner is being sexist frankly and I wouldn't pander to him'
Tell him, and expect him to grow up

Is this really how you respond to your partner when they voice their insecurity about something in your relationship? I worry for your relationship more than for the op's if so!

My dh is insecure about the fact that he's not earning at present. We've both always worked FT but he's always out-earned me, although not by much. Then redundancy hit him and he couldn't find a new job. So now he's a SAHD and I work FT.

My dh is an amazing man. Not sexist or controlling or 'sad' in any way. But he is human - and after twenty years of working FT and supporting himself and then (jointly) his family...yes he has suffered with insecurity and self-esteem issues now he's not financially contributing (even though he is an awesome SAHD).

I don't tell him to get over it. I'm gentle with him because me rubbing my payslips in his face is hardly going to help is it?

Op I would ignore most posters and (as long as he's not abusive and there's nothing else going on!) keep reassuring him that there are more important things than money.

I earn about 4 times what my partner does, he doesn't have a problem at all and appreciates all the extra money. However I'm not sure I could cope if the disparity in earnings was the other way round, not sure what that says about me.

Congratulations. You need to sit down and have a proper chat about this. It’s really not a good idea long term to feel you have to hide how much you earn

It shouldn’t matter aslong as you are both happy

One of the worst things to argue about though is money x