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Original poster

Child maintenance

19 replies

Fedup85 · 17/11/2019 08:00

Hi, my ex and I have been divorced for sometime now. We have 2 children together. Initially we had a personal agreememt were he was paying 350 a month but then he stopped paying becauae I was still living in our house with his name on the mortgage. Stopping the payments made me unable to pay the morrgage so now im in arrears. I wernt througb cms were they calculated he pay 380 a month which he paid. Ff a year to the cms annual review and becauae his wage increased he had to pay a little more, but he just kept at the 380, I rang cms and told them he hadent been paying the correct ammount and eventually I got a back pay from him. I have a partner who only comes over at weekend, he puts abit of money into my account monthly and also pays some of our sons childcare with help of vouchers. I work as a nursery nurse 3 days a week, during school hours as I just cant afford any childcare and im falling behind with all my bills because im just about scraping enough money together to pat my mortgage. CMS did another annual review this october and as my exs wage went up quite alot the monthly payment due to my children also went up over 100...cms advised that my exs weekly income was over 1000.
My ex has rwfused to pay the revised amount and wants to go back to our original plan of 350 whuch I just wouldnt survive on, certainly wouldnt keep a roof over my childrens heads. Hes asked the CMS to do a mandatory reconsideration as he says his wage is high because he does alot of overtime. I also recieved a letter from his solicitor stating im to take sole ownership of the house or sell in order to get his name off the mortgage, need to show evidence of this within 14 days or I will be sent to court with all costs being put on me. I am in no position to sell or buy my property...I just dont know what to do.

OP posts:

ivykaty44 · 17/11/2019 08:05

Pay the CMS to have the money collected by them and paid to you. You would pay a one of few but at least then the money is the correct amount and regular.

Use entitled to and see if you’re eligible for council tax reduction or any UC payments. Maintenance payments are disregarded for these benefits

ivykaty44 · 17/11/2019 08:09

also recieved a letter from his solicitor stating im to take sole ownership of the house or sell in order to get his name off the mortgage, need to show evidence of this within 14 days or I will be sent to court with all costs being put on me. I am in no position to sell or buy my property...I just dont know what to do.

The letter is talking about your ex name of the mortgage? Not the deeds? What was in your divorce as the arrangements for the former family home?

Original poster

Fedup85 · 17/11/2019 08:09

Hi thanks for your reply, I asked cms to move onto collect and pay but they cant because my ex has refused to be on it. Im not entitled to any UC because I have a partner and im already on single council tax, which really I dont think I should be.

OP posts:

dancemom · 17/11/2019 08:12

He's not your partner if he lives elsewhere

Your ex does not have to agree, go back to the CMS

Original poster

Fedup85 · 17/11/2019 08:16

Well he has already took me to court over the house last year. I put it up on the market and it was up for a year with 4 viewers not interested or offering way beliw the asking price. Me and my partner decided to stay and for my partner to be added onto the mortgage, but because of the arrears we dont have enough to do that, and this is were we are now..

OP posts:

Original poster

Fedup85 · 17/11/2019 08:18

Its because he is in the army, he.lives on barracks which is 2 hours away which is the only reason he cant get back everynight, so UC are saying well he would be living with you if he didnt work so far so they declined my UC...

OP posts:

DullPortraits · 17/11/2019 08:22

I am confused as to why you would put your partners name on the mortgage if he doesn't live there?? If he lives there it wont effect how much maintenance your ex pays you anyway only state benefits you receive.

Original poster

Fedup85 · 17/11/2019 08:25

Because of my arrears my credit rating is shot, mortgage lenders wont touch me and our mirtgage advisor said the only way yoy could take ex name off the mortgage is for my partner to buy me out, risky I know but its the only way to get ex off mortgage,

OP posts:

unicornsarereal72 · 17/11/2019 08:28

Then your address is his main residence. As he is in the forces and his work takes him away. You are right you aren't single from a council tax point of view.

Have you been In Touch with a mortgage broker. They can take into account wages and maintenance to get you a mortgage deal solely in your name and hopefully be able to pay ex off.

Cms can do a deduction of earnings. Your ex does not need to agree with it. If he isn't paying what he should they can set it up. It will costs him a further 20% of that amount for admin fees. So he is better off paying you the correct amount directly.

But he is within his right to get the house sold and he has the opportunity to move on.

Original poster

Fedup85 · 17/11/2019 08:33

I know, I want him to move on aswell, but hes acting as though im digging my heels in when im not. He isnt bothered were we end up, as long as his name is off the mirtgage he will happily see his kids living in a squaller.

OP posts:

wineandsunshine · 17/11/2019 08:44

CMS are a nightmare...they will put him on direct pay if he's been paying you by DD for over 6 months. I've had recent problems switching from Collect and Pay!

If your ex short pays/misses payments then you can request to be put onto Collect and Pay again.

Re the house - could you put it up for sale again and look at private renting? You would then qualify for housing and council tax benefit.

Original poster

Fedup85 · 17/11/2019 08:46

I doubt I would get accepted by a landlird with my finances...

OP posts:

emilybrontescorsett · 17/11/2019 08:55

Sorry you are going through this op.
CMS are totally useless. I paid to use their service and somehow my ex pays less than 10% of his take home pay in maintenance.
I think the best thing would be to sell your house and start again without your ex hanging around your neck.
To be fair your ex can't move on if he is still on your mortgage.

SonicVersusGynaephobia · 17/11/2019 09:01

Hes asked the CMS to do a mandatory reconsideration as he says his wage is high because he does alot of overtime.

The reason he is able to do a lot of overtime is because he's not looking after his children... I don't see how that is a justification!

MeTheCoolOne · 17/11/2019 09:15

ghostfromholidaypast · 17/11/2019 13:19

This is crazy because dp got the payment taken straight from his wage, he didn't miss any payment DD beside the once she asked for it in cash ( Christmas time) then they took it from his wage and he didn't know for a few months so was double paying. And living without everything until I sat down with him and worked it out. ( he thought it was a debt repayment through a work loan)

Now he's asked for that to stop shown proof and they said no because she doesn't agree. Even though he supposedly received a letter which he didn't. And since he shown proof they have contacted him non stop asking the same questions but still won't let the payment go back.

I don't get why they have one rule for one and another for the other.
I've waited 8 weeks for exh to show proof, no taking money from him, just tell me I have to wait extra time for him to get the paper work and that it's taking longer because he's been on holiday, but he hasn't though.
They are truly shit

Dontdisturbmenow · 17/11/2019 13:35

So your new partner is really living in the house, he just happen to be away for his job. I don't blame your EX to be annoyed that he is still connected to a property that houses his ex and new partner especially if it means that he then can't buy a house himself.

Every house sell, so you either got the asking price wrong or you've done things to stop anyone being interested.

I don't blame your ex at all. It sounds like each time he has to take you to court for you to agree to put the house for sale. It's time you move on and find your own solution with your new partner for your housing rather than relying on your ex to house his kids, but also you, your partner and new child.

wineandsunshine · 17/11/2019 14:04

If that's the case with your credit file, then I would apply to the council housing list incase you can't private rent. Then when the house is sold at least you may move up the list...

Ellisandra · 17/11/2019 14:19

When you divorced, did you get a financial consent order, and if so (or if not) what did you actually agree about the house?

He needs to pay the CMS amount, but fair enough if it needs to be reduced because of overtime - if that overtime will not be repeated.

But I totally understand him wanting to be released from the mortgage. That’s a massive bind with big financial implications for him now. Why wasn’t it sorted out when you divorced?

Or was it? It sounds like he already has a court order for it to be sold - in which case, it sounds like it is you that isn’t following the court order?

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