Family budget

[squirrelnut]

We are trying to work out if we can afford for me to give up work for a few years. I have mental health problems and a child with SN.
DP works full time and we receive DLA for 1 child. I don’t currently claim carers allowance as earn too much but I could do in the future.

Incomings (after tax) £3250
Outgoings
I have included the following:
Rent £400
Council tax £120
Netflix £6
Food £400
Savings £50
TV licence £12
Gas & Elec £100
Swimming £35
Water £30
Mobile phone x 2 £25
Broadband £28
Petrol £80
National Trust £10
Cubs £13
Car tax x 2 £20
Car Ins x 2 £40

What else should I add?

Some regular outgoings that I and people I know have.

Do either of you smoke or drink regularly? (Not a judgement I just know in threads about booze a lot of people pop out for bottles of wine every few days)
Any shopping services like amazon prime or Tesco home deliveries.
Any music and gaming subs such as Xbox live/ Spotify.
School meals.
Prescription charges.
Clothing and shoes/school uniform.
Magazine/newspaper subscriptions if you have them.
Window cleaner.
MOT For cars.
House insurance.
Life insurance.
Pensions.
Pet food/insurance
VPN software.

We don't drink or smoke....

My parents pay for the children's hot school dinners and will do for the foreseeable. Such a help!

Tesco home deliveries £3.50
Prescription charges £10
Clothing and shoes/school uniform how do you quantify this?
Car service / MOT fund £40
House insurance £6
Pet food/insurance £28

I make that £1456/month

For school uniform I'd divide what it roughly costs by 12 and try to put that away in a separate account or something.

Dds costs anywhere from £100 to £200 spending on what bits she needs, I've stopped buying new every year for the sake of it now, blazers lasted y7/8and 9 before I've just replaced for y10 due her almost growing out of then. Primary school wasn't too bad as it was from Asda but secondary school could easily be £200 if buying it all new so I'd say maybe £10/£15 a month.

Clothing in general is hard to put a monthly amount and I guess it depends on age, my dd is 15 and doesn't outgrow much now, she's not fashion conscious at all either so most things can be picked up cheaply as and when needed without causing too much of a strain, it's the school uniform I was more thinking of as it's a big yearly expense we've struggled to cover at times.

Xmas/ Birthdays

Holidays & travel insurance

This probably won't be helpful but think about what you will lose in your pension if you give up work completely.

Haircuts

Holidays, birthdays and Christmas.
I have 2 separate savings accounts which we transfer £50 into each every month. This means we have £600 to spend at Christmas (although this is also used for birthdays too) and £600 for holidays. I find it really has helped this year.

You'll need a private pension if you are fully giving up work

Look at your pension and understand what you’re giving up if you stop work.

If you can’t afford to pay into a private pension instead, your partner could end up having to work til 70+.

I have very little in the way of pension as I only earn £11k pa due to part time working (youngest child is disabled and only have 3 days childcare per week). I am mid thirties.

I know that’s not good but we have to pay for private respite at the moment as I am mentally ill and just can’t do 3 days work and 2 days looking after DS. He has very complex needs. We have 3 other children (not disabled).

If I give up work I would have 3 days to myself and 2 days with DS which I think would be much more manageable.

I am thinking this will be for 2-3 years. We are currently battling the LA for specialist provision for DS but nothing in county to meet his needs.

That sounds very tough. How flexible is your work? Would they agree to a 2 year career break/sabbatical to give you a break but have something to return to if needed?

Work have been amazingly supportive and flexible with time off for appointments and when placements for DS have broken down and when I’ve been ill myself (sectioned).
It’s a small private company though so sabbatical not possible but not a niche market so I could conceivably get another job in a few years time.
It is a wrench though to give up the certainty of paid work but I just feel we are at breaking point as a family and we cannot continue as we are.

I am I suppose very “under-employed” due to my mental illness compared to my level of education / qualifications.