Husband Being Unrealistic !

[dottiedodah]

I dont know if its just me but my DH cant seem to believe how much things cost! He will say "How Much" in genuine disbelief ! I tend to look after finances ,and he was genuinely shocked at the rates bill! He is not mean and we have shared finances together but I think he thinks it the 1950s or something!

It sounds as if he needs to spend a little more time each month going through the finances with you.

Yeah I agree, he's not really going to have much of an idea if you take care of it all.

Is it really a sense of disbelief at how much things cost (in which case, show him the invoices), or do you feel there's an unspoken suspicion that somehow you're siphoning off funds to pay for your chocolate addiction? (in which case, divorce him).

To be fair, ‘rates’ is also very old-fashioned terminology! You sound like you come out of the 1980’s!!!

It can come as a great shock to some people how much things cost/ how many bills there are to pay, if their OH is in control.

I supported a lady of age 60 ish some years ago whose DH had died. She had absolutely no idea how he managed the finances and all of this responsibility ended up landing on one of her children.
I think it’s really important not to divide up jobs so absolutely within a couple.

@Thistly Good point, dealing with a death of a loved one is awful, throw into the mix finances when you haven't got a clue and it's really stressful.

OP might not be in the UK Thistly

It's rates in Aus, and you pay it quarterly or yearly. In the UK council tax is just another monthly bill.

DH doesn't do the banking, but I always say how much our bills are if he doesn't see them. Maybe a bit better communication?

Ah right, total assumption there. Sorry non-uk mner’s

Thistly maybe they run a small business and pay rates on a premises. What a strange thing to pick OP up about.

You sound like you come out of the 1980’s!!!

And? Perhaps she does.

Its rates here in NI!

It's "rates" in the North of Ireland.

I find a lot of the men in my life to be similar to your other half OP, they always appear genuinely taken-aback at the cost of something, yet have no such concerns when it comes to spending on sports, beer etc.

My dad was an awful moan about the price of everything, everything was always "too much" but we learned as a family to ignore him.

Rates? Leccy, water etc?

You sound like you come out of the 1980’s!!!

And? Perhaps she does.

^^

Me too

Sorry people, my comment came from a sense of irony that the op felt her dh was living in the 1950’s yet she was using what I felt was an outdated term for council tax, previously poll tax.
—Slinks off—

Why not start keeping some proper book-keeping style records of your in's and out's so you can show him how much you're both spending each month, each year etc. It's quite an eye-opener. If not, then keep a file of the "big" invoices, like water rates, council tax, mortgage, power, car repairs, insurances, etc., for him to flick through.

Kazzyhoward Thats a good idea TBH (We are in the UK and I should have said Council Tax ) !.Its not so much that he resents paying but seems genuinely shocked by the price of things . We have Direct Debits and so just goes out of account really .I have suggested a spreadsheet think I will say this again ." CallmeAngelina" I do siphon off money for Chocolate supplies dont worry! was married in the 1980s so poss makes me sound a little old fashioned ?

Mine was like that. I sent him to the supermarket a few times to get used the costs there, and he has to manage the bills. I still know where the money is going, joint account and I check frequently, but he handles things so that he knows what xy and z cost. I also leave things like dog food up to him. If he doesn’t buy the dogs have no food. All of that means he keeps up to date with prices, and price rises.

He wasn’t helped by the his late mother controlling the purse strings and converting present day prices to pre-decimal prices to see what food really costs 🤦‍♀️

You need to involve him in everything financially related. Bills, food shopping, entertainment expenses, everything. He needs a huge wake-up call.

I think I have probably spoilt him a little TBH! He is at work and I am SAHM and do most of the budgeting .He needs to get into the real world !