Christmas presents for others

[brokenladyxx]

Hello I just wondered what people spend on other people at Christmas on presents?
I have two kids of my own who obviously take priority but then there's my niece and 2 nephews my dad, sister, my OH's 3 nephews his mom and his sister.

My mother in law is forever dropping hints about what she wants and it's never anything cheap and I know if we were to get something cheap she would be talking behind our back to everybody! Last year I went to a lot of effort for her not my OH but she didn't do the same back for me but did for her own blood kids so this year I'm taking a step back and my OH can sort his own family out.

Am I being abit mean and unreasonable? I think it's too much buying your own kids with your having to spend a fortune on everybody else aswell.
How much do you spend on your extended family for Christmas?

We spend £50 each on OH parents plus a hamper , £100 on my mum plus a hamper £50 each on my brothers and sisters and their partners and £50 each on my nieces and nephews. OHs nieces and nephews we spend £20 each, as that was what was agreed with his sister and she spends the same on ours. Our parents give us a very large sum of money for birthdays and Christmas so we like to get them something nice and they have always been very hands on grandparents. Some of my friends spend more don't spend less, it's what is comfortable for you.

That would be way out of our budget 🙈 my dad spends £100 each on my kids and £100 for me and my partner his mom spends around £100 each kid also and around £15-£20 on my gifts but around £50 for his gifts.
I just feel like you can't give one present because it looks like nothing. Nieces and nephews both sides last year had around £40 each which is a lot of money. We have said our own kids can have £400 each this year and when that's gone it's gone because there only 2 and 4. Do you think that's tight? Should I be spending more x

brokenlady £400 on 2 & 4 year olds...that's quite a lot in my book... I'd spend less now as it costs more as they get older..
At that age they like something off father Christmas because it's suggested to them. The 2 year old will play with the wrappers

£400 on a 2 & 4 year old is loads! I would probably spend £200 at a push on 4yo and less than £100 on 2yo. Stuff you but for eldest now will be good for youngest in a few years so could be worth the money.

FWIW, I don't have dc but I set my budget then divvy it up between who we buy for rather than the other way around.
Sounds tight but we spend between £15-20 on most people, slightly more for parents (£30/40 ish) and less for friends dc (£10).

My dm has expensive tastes and gives present tips. I just laugh and say "oh of course, I'm so rich I'll buy you two" and get something within my budget - usually something she wouldn't think to treat herself too (tickets for shows etc always go down v v well).

£400 each on a 2 and 4 year old is madness. Your budget can’t be that tight. We have a high household income and spend no more that £200 all in (main presents and stockings) at the absolute most on our 8 and 6 year olds.

Oh gosh really, I thought £400 was abit mean 🤦🏻‍♀️ we're getting our little boy his first bike as he will be 3 by the time Christmas comes and that's £80 alone then there's all the other toys he's seen in the Argos book. Maybe I should re think the budget I thought my kids were going without just spending the £400 x

Spend what you can afford comfortably and no more.
Do not feel "obliged" to buy ANYBODY a present.
If people feel ill done by, that says more about them than about you.
Do not buy "stuff"
One small well chosen present that people will still be enjoying a year later is better than a mountain of plastic crap.

£400 each is a lot for such young children. They are too young to really appreciate big presents and will enjoy gifts that cost a lot less, plus will enjoy the Christmas atmosphere.

The £80 bike as a main present for one of them is great! He'll love that but you don't have to spend another £300 on him. £100 maybe.

A 2 year old has no concept of money
get them something they will enjoy for as long as possible
if it costs £10 rather than £300 who cares
its giving them enjoyment that matters
not splashing cash

I’d also be keeping the 2 year old away from the Argos catalogue - you’ll be setting yourself up for years of overspending if they start demanding lots of things this early on in life.

Thanks for all the advice will definitely be taking it on board. Christmas so stressful but now I'll cut back on the kids and use the extra to spend on everyone else x

but now I'll cut back on the kids and use the extra to spend on everyone else x
Or just spend less ???????

Me and my siblings don’t buy presents for each other, we just buy for each other’s kids and spend about £20 each on them. Dh also has 4 Godchildren and again we spend about £20 per child.

My parents are dead and in laws live in South Africa so we don’t buy for them either (we’ve tried posting parcels but they just go missing).

Your 4 year old can want all he likes from the Argos catalogue but it doesn't mean he gets it. Talk him into asking for the bike and a surprise. The surprise can be one other toy he has shown interest in and a few small bits. Cost could be £120 max and as for the 2 year old £50 - £100 would be loads. £400 each is madness. I'd let Dh sort his own side and then spend £20 each on niece/nephews if you wish. I don't swap gifts with my siblings. We also just buy for godchildren on my side, so not for all nieces/nephews.

We sat down with the family and set a budget of £20 per person (uncles, aunts, nieces, nephews etc)
Each person then makes a list of things they'd like, if its eg £60 then 3 couples club together to get it.

Plus my 2 year old will be getting about £50 worth of present, he has no concept of money and plenty of toys already.

I just feel like you can't give one present because it looks like nothing

You need to get over feelings like this. Wish lists for adults are ridiculous. Tell them all now that you are only doing presents for DC and adults will be getting a token bottle of fizz/box of chocs style present.

Then they can buy their own expensive stuff with the money saved and it's all a lot less stressful all round.

Definitely not being mean. The rule at Chez Adora is I deal with my family and DH deals with his family. He was able to that before we met so he can still do it now.

As for the amounts? I spend a few hundred on my DC, about 40/50 pound on stepson and similar for his GF. Then roughly the same for my DSis.

DH usually spends a tenner per present for his family.

A wish list is just that, wish . Not a bloody shopping list.

We don't buy for adults in the family or the whole expense just gets out of hand. It's bonkers. Just say you're not buying presents this year and you don't want anyone to buy any for you.

And 400 quid each for a 2 and 4 year old is just insane.

OP name change so you all are aware it's still me.

Yes after much thinking that is way over for the ages the kids are. It's just toys are very expensive these days and they're really into paw patrol and pj masks as well as LOL doll and toy story. However I have re thought and now budget £250 per child as stated by somebody previous they will have presents off other people aswell.

I have also thought not to buy adults, Christmas is about the kids not adults so I will be saying this to everybody this year and if they sulk tough shit

We only really do token gifts for others. We spend £100-150 on our kids, which includes stocking etc (might be slightly more this year, as they’re having bikes).

We then spend £3-40 on my mum and the in-laws. Something individual, plus school photo, school tea towel and a photo calendar.

£10 each on God children & DNs.

£10 on siblings and their partners (often joint gifts).

DH and I only receive gifts from our parents. (My siblings don’t have children, so we give them, but they only give to our kids). DILs spend £50 on each of us, and DM spends £30.

Although we are comfortable, members of our wider family are less so. Despite these budgets sounding small, my children and their cousins receive more than enough.