Boyfriend moving in

[userxx]

Hi,

My boyfriend is going to move in with me, I own the property and the mortgage is now really small. The bills will be split 50/50 but I'm unsure what to do about the mortgage, should he contribute to that too or am I best continuing to pay for it myself?

He's moving out of a rented flat and will be saving a decent amount of money each month by living with me.

Anything else I should be considering?

Thanks

Pay it yourself. Are you considering marriage with this man one day? If you let him pay the mortgage, he will have a claim on your property won't he?

Think of him as a flatmate in terms of paperwork. He pays his half of bills but your flat is your own.

Has he mentioned it?

I live in Australia and here you'd be considered a Defacto couple and he would in fact have the right to claim on your property after 6 months living together. Probably not the full whack but certainly a percentage.

Not sure about marriage to be honest. I said we would split all bills down the middle and I think he took that to mean the mortgage too which he would be happy to pay.

Not liking the idea of him having a right to claim, I need to look into that further.

I could easily overthink this and talk myself out of it 😬.

I’m turning this over for similar reasons. Half doesn’t seem right, but neither does nothing. Why should he get to live rent free at our expense. I’d go 35/65 or something.

Noooooooooooooo he mustn't pay the mortgage!

I can never understand why Mumsnetters seem to think that a guy moving into a house with a small mortgage should pay no rent. He's paying rent where he is now, isn't he?

Having another person living with you will increase costs considerably - the dishwasher/washing maching/tumble dryer/shower etc will be on twice as often, so will wear out quicker. Same with carpets, sofas, the bed. It sounds daft but you are paying for this.

Then why should he pay no rent anyway? You have worked hard to pay off your home - why should he swan in and live there at a huge discount?

You should see a solicitor so you know exactly what your risks are and how to mitigate them if possible. Don't risk your financial future just to have a boyfriend move in.

I would knock a couple of hundred pounds off his current rent, particularly if his travel costs will increase as a result of living with you. I certainly wouldn't let him live there rent free.

He definitely won't be living here rent free. Not a chance.

I'll continue to pay the mortgage myself, and he can pay an amount for rent.

I think I need a few months to see how much the bills will increase, he will be fine if we need to re-jig money around.

When I lived with my DH before we got our house, he paid his own mortgage but I gave him half of the bills each month, and we also took turns paying for the shopping, meals out etc.

If his name isn't on the deeds for the property, and he wouldn't get any money if it was sold, he shouldn't be paying for it.. but should absolutely contribute.

You need to draw up a tenancy contract OP. With a specialist. It sounds full-on but it's needed.

'll continue to pay the mortgage myself, and he can pay an amount for rent.
Well if he agrees to this, all is well. It all comes down to how you look at it. He might think he is gaining if he pays you say half the rent he currently pays (and pays half the bills too), or he can look at it that he is helping you towards your mortgage (which is what rent does), so that you can have a house for yourself at some point, whilst he'll have nothing.

I personally think the fairer arrangement is to agree for them to pay 'rent' for say 12/18 months, but with an agreement that if the relationship has grown solid after this time, a different arrangement is made to give a bit more security (be it not to pay towards it any longer so they can save towards a deposit themselves), or agree to put them on the mortgage deeds with an entitlement in line with what they have been putting in.

I second a tenancy contract.

As a person who moved in with their ex DP (who then turned out to be an utter cocklodger). In my case, the only money my ex-DP gave was money for deposit on the flat. He DID try to say I owed him half of what the property was worth. But i reminded him that living with him for a year with no rent or bills paid, that he had no claim on it.

I do wish I’d had a tenancy agreement instead. This would solve any of that.

Thanks everyone, you've been really helpful.

If he only contributed towards the bills it would be such a small amount that he would more or less be living here free, if he paid half the mortgage plus bills it will still only be less than £300.

I will sit down over the weekend and talk to him about it.

Work out how much your mortgage and bills cost, and then come up with a figure that you'd be happy for him to contribute. It doesn't have to be half, just whatever you deem appropriate. You can get him to sign away any rights to your property I believe. Check with a solicitor.

When my husband first moved in I paid the mortgage and we opened a joint bank account in which he deposited the same as my mortgage payment into. All our bills came out of the joint account and anything left over was food or fun money!

Make sure you have contract for rent and bills - a monthly lump sum. You stay on all the bills except council tax which he will need to go on. You pay all the bills directly. He pays money to you. He writes you a note, signed and dated by you both and witnessed by someone else that he has no claim on your property .

I was in a similar situation, he paid 50% of bills/food only. I paid mortgage, service charge, furniture and repairs. Worked really well, I kept my property separate. He built up some savings to be used either to put towards a joint property in future or to rent his own place if things didn't work out with our relationship.

I can't see how a tenancy agreement would work - you'd have to guarantee him a length of tenancy. Even if he was a lodger, you're not renting him his own room (assume he's sharing yours).

It's not costing you anything to have him live there, in fact your bills will be halved plus you'll have the pleasure of your partners company. If you find you don't like it, you can simply ask him to leave at any time - that's why he needs to have savings. He has no security in your arrangement.

I don't see what your mortgage has to do with the rent he should pay. If you rent privately, you don't base your rent on the landlord's mortgage.

Perhaps look up on Gumtree for the cost of house sharing in your area?

Your boyfriend's reaction will tell you a lot, btw. "Why should I pay when you're not?" etc would lead me to telling him not to move in.

Just another thought - I would save any rent money in a long term plan, otherwise you'll have much more per month and will end up spending it on both of you, so he'll get his rent back.

As others have said, be very careful you are not over romanticising this arrangement, make it very clear what he is paying for and how much he is contributing- and seek legal advice.