Should I revert to my maiden name after divorce? What did you do?

[ladymac]

I took my ex husband's name when we married purely because I liked it and it went with my forename. We have 3 children together. We have been divorced for about 4 years now. I didn't go back to my maiden name as I felt I shared the name with my children, not just my ex.

I now live with a wonderful man and we have just had a baby. Dd3 has his surname. We plan to marry next year and I am thinking about taking his name.

The trouble is my ex has remarried and his (4th!) wife is now also Mrs Same As Me. But it's such a faff to revert to my maiden name (passport, bank account, email address to name but a few) and only my family and really old friends remember me having this name anyway. It would only be my name for less than a year. Plus we would then have 3 surnames in our house.

What have other people done? It's silly, I know, but I feel strangely attached to this surname, even though I can't bear my ex!

If you are going to marry next year and change your name anyway then I really don't think it would be worth the bother tbh. I don't see that your ex's current wife having the same surname is much of an issue really, unless it's very unusual then surely there are other people with the same surname anyway?

A colleague I worked with had kept her old married name even though she had been with her new partner for years. She just liked the name! Hang onto it if you don't mind. What does your partner think?

I think he would like me to take his name. I must admit it was a bit strange when I was pregnant and baby was referred to as 'baby ex husband' IYSWIM. I did put my maiden name on the birth certificate though as the registrar said i could do this.

I suppose it may seem like there is still a connection with my ex whilst I still have his name

well yes but for less than a year if you are going to change it when you get married? But its not a real connection because you have made the name your own IKSWIM?

sorry IYSWIM!

Thanks pinkteddy. I hadn't thought of it like that. Yes, I have made this name my own. It feels like who I am.