Property purchase issues with my sister, future planning, opinions please

[StarryStarryNight]

Right here goes. I own a piece of land in an area of outstanding natural beauty. I went out there with my sister and other family members with a view to SELL it in order to purchase some other land either with a timber cottage on it or without to do a self build as a holiday home for my family (husband and two kids).

But upon realizing that the land I own is spectacular, I got the grand idea of building on it rather than selling it. I want a small timber cottage with 2 bed rooms, I dont need water (can fetch in nearby river) and electricity.
So my sister suggests we build together, and go half half. BUT the problems with this is the following:

1. My sister has fibromyalgia and is of very bad health, with a bad back and cannot actually do any physical work, not even clean the floor.
2. A lot of work is involved in a self build, most will be upon me and my husband. (we are busy with running our own company and two young kids, she is on sickness benefit and with a teenage daughter who may or may not help out)
3. She refuses a cottage without electricity which will be a lot of admin to sort out electricity to an area with no cables, probably between 5-15 k extra on top.
4. The land is mine, she wants to pay half the cost of cottage and have shared ownership of entire property.
5. She needs this to happen in April next year to tie it in with selling her house, she wants to use 1/3 of proceeds of sales of house towards cottage and keep the rest as spending money as no income and financial hardship.
6. April next year is too early for me as it will take longer for me to free up assets to raise money so may lost out financially.
7. The cottage I have in mind is a small cottage with just two bedrooms, with her on board we will need a bigger cottage which will require more maintenenance, cleaning and upkeep.

So in essense, I go half half on a LARGER and much more expensive cottage than I need, I go half half on electricity that I dont need, I give her half of land that I own, and it has to be built according to my sisters time line, not mine. It is becoming much more expensive for me to get her on board. And thinking of the future, our kids stand to inherit this cottage, and my boys will have 1/4 ownership each, and her daughter 1/2 ownership. Her daughter is going to be extremely well off in the future as she is sole heiress to her dads immense fortune (my sister is divorced), but my sons only stand to inherit me and my husband and we are not very rich.

I would like to build this cottage, I cannot really refuse my sister to be on board, but I dont like that SHE is calling the shots and setting terms, on land that is mine, and on a project that was originally mine.
I cannot suggest that she pays more to compensate for the land she builds on, it is not about that.

TBH, I dont really care that much about the actual ownership as long as we all use the cottage and take pleasure from it, she is in a totally different financial situation from mine, BUT I would like to ensure that MY kids have a larger proportion of ownership. Not that it matters when the cottage is in use, but I would hate that my sisters daughter one day in the future decides she wants to sell, as she doesnt want her part, and my sons cant afford to pay her out/ purchase her part, with the result that they have to sell the cottage out of the family.

What do I do? Suggestions please?

How about doing a leasehold for the cottage?
Give your sister 1/2 of that

Then your kids still get the land

The cottage and the land will be an entity unto themselves so you absolutely MUST get a legal document drawn up to show that she owns 25 per cent of the entity. So when you have all pegged it her dd will get 25 per cent and your dc's will get 75 per cent.

My first instinct would be to cut your sister our of the equation so you get what you want on this build but if that's not possible, the other thing that occurs to me is some sort of trust where your dn cannot sell or impel your sons to sell the cottage against their wishes in the future. You can't do much about your dn likely being richer than her cousins but you can probably secure the cottage against being sold .
Do you know for sure that you can build on this land - have you got planning permission?

oh god I wouldn't do it at all

I'm sorry but it looks already like a family feud in the waiting

just tell her that you're sorry but you want to keep it the way you planned it, and that she's welcome to borrow for holidays but its going to be a 2 bed timber shack

I don't see the benefit to you getting her involved (unless you can't afford to do it alone)

Thank you all.
I have pondered since I saw your replies. And I am going ahead with the cottage and with my sister on board. I only have ONE sister, and I love her to bits. I want to have a cottage with her, I just dont want all the issues that the future might bring.

I just have to make sure we make some sort of contract that the cottage should not be sold unless all who has ownership agrees, or something.

StarryStarryHappyBuilder

I am on my own. I can put up with all these issues with my sister, but NOT that she needs a HUGE cottage to make up for the fact that she has to be there with my husband and my noisy boisterous kids....
And like she said, "I dread the thought of you and your family visiting me in my small flat in Spain", so I dont want another small cottage.

So, I am back to a tiny timber shack for me and my boys.

Try not to be sad about it, IMHO it's for the best anyway.

You can always add an extension later when funds allow if you decide you want to.

Would you however reconsider the electricity issue as it will be an investment in the long run and you could always seek to let out the property to recoup some of the cost thereof ?

I would say it is getting too complicated to do it jointly - so you go ahead on your own and she can use the cottage when you aren't.

I would imagine in an AONB you will have v little chance of getting planning permission anyway.

I have the planning permission. I have the land. The owner of the land sectioned out 5 pieces of land for cottage purposes 30 years ago, it is truly in the middle of nowhere. It is regulated as land for cottages. I have spoken to the planning department, all I need to do is take the drawings and the plans and come for a consultation together with the builder, I have to bear in mind size and suitability in the surroundings. Shouldnt be hard. Cottages are timber self builds, no plumbing is needed, water is taken from a nearby river. Toilets are special constructions including sawdust and chemicals, heat is breaking down the waste products. It will not obstruct too much, I will not build roads and gardens, there will be a path up, and it is built on poles rather than concrete base.

Say no. Tell her you love her but no.

Sounds fab. Good Luck