Kids dad avoiding child maintenance

[Aida16]

Hi,

So my kids dad has always been very inconsistent with making any payment towards our two boys. In April he moved job yet again so I’ve had to start up another payment schedule with child maintenance. I have recently found out that he is self employed while still claiming full benefits and also not paying tax!!! Any time I contact cms they tell me there is nothing they can do as hmrc don’t have any note of him making an income. I have contacted benefit fraud but I have so little details as I don’t know who he works for or what he does currently. I just feel so let down by cms, he actually told them himself that he is working yet they didn’t even ask him what he’s earning or try to set up a payment schedule! And now every time I call they just say they will send another form to hmrc asking about his benefit and if he’s provided proof of income. It’s purely just a power struggle with him, any time I bring it up he just says “it’s a nil assessment” well obviously since he hasn’t declared his wage 😩 what can I do ladies?

I’ve had these struggles with him for 4 years now while in that time he’s had two more kids and also supports his partners child from her previous relationship. I’m sorry but how can people go creating other lives while they don’t even pay for the kids they already have 😭

X

Hi, I just wanted to say I'm sorry you are going through this. I was in exactly the same situation 20 years ago - single parent, 3 children under five, ex husband moved from job to job to avoid paying anything. He worked cash in hand, had a 'nil assessment' whilst holidaying several times a year, new cars etc etc.
My experience of the then CSA - completely useless. Not fit for purpose, disinterested- in 18 years of pursuing him they never collected a penny - after this time the 'debt' was written off as they decided it was uncollectible.
My advice would be, forget about him, concentrate on your children - all the stress of pursuing him and getting nowhere is so draining. I know it's unfair - I kept going as I felt I owed it to my kids - they missed out on so much, as I never had any spare money for anything- it was just survival, that's all.
My ex also went on to have multiple partners and several other children who are all in the same boat now. Until the government prioritise child maintenance and give their offices power to collect or penalise non paying parents, nothing will change.
It's so sad, but you cannot force someone to care about their child's welfare. When you love them so much, it's very difficult to accept that the other parent cares so little. I wish I could offer better advice, others may have had more success, but this was my experience. Given the time over again, I just wouldn't bother.
Best wishes.