How can a maths teacher be so bad at budgeting?

[Peppermintee]

My DH teaches Maths.
He oversees out bills account, I oversee our extras/savings account.
I asked him how things were adding up in our bills account after receiving a text from the bank saying there wasn't enough money in there to cover the month's bills. He said there "should" have been enough and transferred some money over from our extras account to cover it.
Then did nothing.
I pressed that the account needed looking at. He said it had just been a busy month.
I then accessed the account and all out statements. We have been underpaying in the account for 9 months by £150, putting us in our over-draft after having a cushion of 1000 in there 1 year ago.
He says "sorry."
I don't get it.
Why can't a maths teacher budget?
Any tips for budgeting better? I think I need to oversee all our finances now, but can't believe this is the case. He is offended when I say I am going to oversee things from now on!

He's bad at budgeting because he doesn't give a shit.

He doesn't care whether bank charges/overdraft charges are made.

I have a DH like that too - simply doesn't give one.

Well, what’s gone up by £150pcm to cause this? What gets paid from that account? Just standing order/direct debit bills or do you draw cash from it?

Btw, not sure the maths teacher is relevant, I know plenty of people good at maths who don’t budget!

Perhaps it like builders who houses are unfinished DIY projects

I do all the boring things - pay the bills, save for tax etc. Best take over and keep an eye on it all.

A bills account should more or less run itself except keeping an eye on the balance and checking maybe once a year that you are getting the best price for utilities, broadband etc.

His excuse about 'having a busy month' is ludicrous considering the last month is probably one of the least busy months a teacher can have. Sounds like he just doesn't give a shit.

Maybe look at things together if he doesn't want you to take over?

It has gone up because we were previously paying for our own cars out of our own personal pots. He then said that we were paying enough in the account to cover both cars to give us both extra money each month.
I trusted him and agreed.
He was wrong and had not bugeted for extra work on the cars-things like tyres, break discs etc. However he has still used the account to pay for these things. It's like he can't face up to the reality of our finances.

Also hadn't budeted for car insurance 🤦‍♀️

What is an adequate amount of disposable money for us to each have in a personal pot each month? This is after we have paid in savings, bills, set money aside for the children's clothes, swimming lessons etc.

I guess it's the difference between maths and accounts!

I manage our accounts for similar reasons. In terms personal spending, it really depends on your other costs, saving goals, income etc. Some parents get £50 and others 1k...

What is an adequate amount of disposable money for us to each have in a personal pot each month?

Isn't that a back to front question? You budget for the "have to pay" then whatever is left is for spends?

You need to pay your bills first and then you are left with what you are left with.

You're not in this situation because he's made a mistake with the maths, he simply hasn't bothered to manage the account. He's been lazy and irresponsible. Share the responsibility so you've got two pairs of eyes to spot potential problems.

Yes, personal spending money for adults is low priority and you should think of it being what's left after everything else has been covered, including pensions and savings for annual and unpredictable expenses like holidays, Christmas, broken cars, pets, washing machines etc, insurances. What is reasonable is what is affordable to you and will vary from less than nothing to thousands of pounds a month.

You should obviously try to minimise all your essential expenditure as this will maximise the money leftover for your own discretionary spends.

The moneysavingexpert money makeover is a good systematic way of going through all possible expenses, getting the best price and working out how much free spending money you have.

Thanks for the tip @BarbaraofSeville.

In an ideal world all our money would go into our "extras" account for holidays, christmas, broken things etc. We don't have much left each month...just under 900 to cover all these things and to give each other a little spending money too. Our current finances are temporary due to nursery fees and me working fewer hours whilst our youngest child is at home.

DH wants us to have 300 each per month. The rest going into the "extras" account.
I think 300 each is indulgent.
What is reasonable?

Whether £300 pm spending money is reasonable depends on whether or not is affordable to your family.

It's not reasonable if means you don't have money to pay annual expenses like insurances or car tax, buy a new washing machine or car when needed or go on holiday if you want to, because money that would have been available has been spent on luxuries like bought lunches, coffees, adult hobbies etc etc.

It's more than some people have, less than others have. Many people will think that is loads, many others will think it's not enough and spend that amount several times over.

DH wants us to have 300 each per month. The rest going into the "extras" account.

Well, does £3,600 cover EVERYTHING you spend in a year from “extras”?

holidays, christmas, broken things etc.

A lot of people would spend that amount just on holidays.

Christmas - we spend close to a grand, I reckon, once you add up extra food, presents for DC, extended family, other gifts at that time of year e.g. teachers, Christmassy outings, the tree and so on.

Birthdays and other gifts - this is a big chunk of our budget too. Who pays for those in your budget?

‘Broken things’ and also household consumables etc. can be as long as a piece of string.

Honestly, I’d sit down with the MSE budget planner spreadsheet and go through absolutely everything you’d spend money on in a year. You won’t have £300 each personal spending left over, probably ... but if you do it together and work out your priorities together then you’ll have a better chance of making it work.

For instance, I WFH most of the time so I don’t buy lunch. My DH really prioritises buying lunch - but often doesn’t eat much at home in the evenings. So he gets more to spend on that than me. But my hair costs three times as much to cut etc.

You need to talk it through or you’ll be in the situation like the car stuff of not taking a full picture.

Nursery/paid childcare years are tough, so you need a proper plan not a wish list number for personal spends.

Personally, I'd probably prefer £100-150. Saving £600-700 would give you a realistic chance of having an emergency pot, paying for Christmas, birthdays etc and still having sth left for a holiday.

You can always up your spending money when you're able to work more hours and your childcare bill is lower.

I guess it also depends is the £300 covering clothes?

It definitely makes sense to cover all other costs, inc clothing, Christmas and holidays first. Then work out what's left. Then decide of what's left how much you want to put into savings and what you want to allow yourselves to spend.

All you need to budget is a calculator, common sense and to treat it seriously. Maths skills aren't required at all.

Birthdays are covered in our bills account. So the "extras" account as we call it is for:
Christmas
Holidays
Kids clothes and other stuff
Broken things
DIY
Emergencies
Other savings

300 a month does not stretch very far AT ALL. I budget
100 Christmas
100 holiday (we have a touring caravan and just use this at the moment whilst things are tight.)
100 extra stuff

I earn a little more on the side from making things so all of that goes in too but it peaks and troughs.

I've argued to DH that we need to be having much less of a personal pot each month and it needs to be going into our extras account. I'm just trying to weigh up what is the least amount we could each manage on.
-Neither of us have to pay for lunches
-I pay for my hair and alternative therapies once/twice a month
-DH plays golf/watches football 1-2 times each month.
-The odd meal out as a couple/with friends.

I'd like to get by on as little as we can really. I'm interested how much other people have to spend on just themselves each month.

I'm interested how much other people have to spend on just themselves each month.

But this is as long as a piece of string! You’re coming at it from the wrong angle about “arguing you should have less personal spends” - you need to show your DH that the extras account needs more on expenses that WILL come up.

Your ‘spare’ £100 needs to cover:

Kids clothes and other stuff - at least £20 per DC on clothes, a lot more depending on age/whether you get hand-me-downs etc. And that’s just clothes/shoes, and very lean really. What’s the ‘other stuff’? Anyway, let’s say £40 of your £100pcm is gone...

Broken things - big-ticket things like boiler? Or smaller stuff?

DIY - home maintenance, I guess? This can be a lot.

Emergencies - what sort? Do you have savings to cover job loss etc?

Other savings - what are these? It’s a bit vague...

Break down everything you need to spend in a year. Look back at statements to help you. Then go from there.

As an example, DH and I leave £400 in our personal spending pots each month. That's with a combined income of around £5k a month, mortgage and utility bills are £1400 and nursery fees of £1400 as well. Any extra we have in our joint account after everything is paid for goes into joint savings.

Whatever you decide, the spending money needn't be set in stone forever. You could try a budget for 3 months and review. You'll see if you've got a saving pot building and if you're managing on your spending money. Then adjust accordingly.

In terms of what others spend, it really varies. A friend who's a single mum manages on £300/month and that includes all food for her and child, their clothes, entertainment and any 'luxuries'. A branch manager at a local bank I got chatting to the other week said he had £90/month to spend on himself (clothes and eating out etc). We'd probably be called rich but we're trying to be frugal with £700/month each but often end up blowing £££ on stuff.