What are our options here - reduced income/mortgage payments

[Samaranian]

Very long story short (which I can expand upon if necessary)

We live in a flat owned by DP - he bought it before we got together and as I was renting, I moved in with him. We've been together for 6 years and always meant to add me onto the mortgage but never really got round to it. Flat was bought for £100k, £81k left on the mortgage but now currently valued at £60k :(

Up to now, all bills have been split equally except for the mortgage which DP paid himself.

After much discussion and agreement from both parties, DP has decided to retrain which means he will be earning half of what he used to for the next three years.

Until this morning, we thought he would be eligible for a student loan which would have meant things would have been tight but manageable.

It transpires that we found out this morning that he isn't eligible for a student loan which means he physically won't earn enough to cover all his outgoings.

I want to support him with his retraining (which has amazing future prospects, promotions, earnings potential etc) but I don't want to leave myself vulnerable.

Now, I could afford to pay the mortgage myself - but is this a stupid idea? If the flat wasn't in so much negative equity I guess it would be easy enough to add me onto it but I don't even know if this is possible in negative equity and also doesn't seem like a very good idea...

If any more information is required I am happy to supply I am just trying to keep it to the point to gather some ideas on the best way to move forward!

Are you saying that you have been paying half the bills but no rent as such for the past 6 yrs?

How much is the mortgage which needs to be paid if you want a roof over your head.

Well, you don't need to be added to the mortgage if you feel you don't want to share the burden of negative equity (but you would have wanted to if it is was the opposite!). Pay sufficient "rent" to keep the roof over both your heads.

You're coming across as a fair weather partner which is probably not your intention.

Yes - that is what I am saying. As is very typically the "advice" on here to not contribute to a partners mortgage since theoretically he could tell me to leave tomorrow and I would have nothing to show for it and no security etc. That has been the way it has worked for the last 6 years and it has worked fine. I contribute in other areas that more or less balances it out.

The mortgage is £400 - and it isn't keep a roof over my head really, is it? Its to ensure that DP can keep his flat and not fall into arrears and have it repossessed by the bank. I could (not that I plan to or would want too) go and get my own flat and then I would still have a roof over my head (plus one that I chose, in an area that I chose with the amenities I chose etc). He will be living in another city 4 hours away paying another £600 a month to rent another property as that is the closest college that does the course he needs to study.

A fair weather partner? This is why I hate mumsnet sometimes - I have said I want to support him as best I can but I also want to protect myself and work out the most fair way for the both of us.

I am more than happy to step up and support him through his retraining and make the cutbacks required to enable this to happen. I am just asking if there is anything I haven't thought of or another way to do things.

I think that after 6 years together I'd cover the mortgage. It's relatively small, you'd need somewhere to live anyhow, and if your partners earning potential will raise drastically you may find you need the favour repaying one day.

So, you want to stay and live in his flat whilst he lives 4 hrs away? You don’t want to move but you’re reluctant to pay him rent because it pays his mortgage which you don’t part own AND you don’t want to part own due to negative equity.

If he couldn’t afford it, he would have to either sell it or let it out which would be difficult if you lived there. How can he afford rent elsewhere if he doesn’t have a student loan or other funds to do so? If you are intending to financially support your DP whilst he retrains, it’s essentially a leap of faith and mutual trust which you either have or don’t.

Are you seriously questioning whether you are benefitting or being disadvantaged? If you are, you should question whether you wish to remain in your LTR.

Well, if you could buy yourself a flat, then do that. Your partner can live rent-free in there while you pay all the mortgage. He can rent his own property out and work part-time to support himself.

I'd just pay it. You've been living rent free for several years. If you are a partnership you help one another out.

If he’s not living there, then he needs to pay the mortgage somehow.

So he should rent it out.

He can either rent it to you, at a bargain £400 per month, or rent it to someone else and then you’ll need to find somewhere else to live.

Which option do you prefer?

The negative equity etc etc is all irrelevant. Do you wish to pay to rent his flat or do you want to move out?

As an aside, are you sure on that valuation? That’s a heck of a big drop into negative equity.

Also, why isn’t he eligible for a student loan? He’s studied before, I guess?

In your shoes I’d worry about the fact that bad decisions have been made in the past and how can you be sure this is the right thing to train at this point?

Wow you sound very selfish op, you would have nothing to show by renting either.

So will he be living 4 hours away from you as s student? For 3 years? I think I’d move with him if your job is portable and rent the flat out.