How much does it cost to have a child?

[PureImaginationandLSD]

I would love to have children, but I'm concerned the cost will be prohibitive.

Understandably it's different for different people (and will vary by location, and spending habits), but I would really like to get a better sense of how much it would cost per month?

I want to know whether having children is just a pipe dream, or something that I and my partner can financially plan towards in the next few years.

Context: I am in a stable relationship, and of an age where I have to give consideration to having children fairly soon. I have an above average paying job, but I've lived in London my whole working life, so I've never felt comfortable money wise (so much money has been thrown down the drain in terms of rent!). I have saved some money and aim to continue to do so, hopefully this will be enough for a deposit on a small flat in the very outer zones of London in a few years time, all being well. I'm factoring the Help to Buy ISA payout into this as well. My partner doesn't have savings, his ability to earn more is limited due to his profession (worthwhile, but underpaid).

Thanks for any insight you can give :)

Well. If you both will work full time nursery will be £1k plus - more if you are nearer inner / central London.

Or you drop a salary or work opposing hours to cut childcare. Do you have family help?

That's the main expense! Most of the stuff they need can be picked up second hand cheaply.

To a certain extent kids cost what you let them cost. The biggest expense is child care, the cost of clothing and equipment can be close to nothing if you shop secondhand and savvily. You could always relocate somewhere cheaper or look at shared equity. The more important thing is do you want kids

The biggest cost will be childcare and/or loss of income for a SAHP (plus loss to their pension and career progression if taking time out) unless you’re lucky enough to have healthy grandparents who can offer free childcare until age 12-16 (depending on child)

Other than that you can do babies quite cheaply or as expensive as you like. Car seats, travel systems, prams, cots, etc are one off purchases. Clothes are an ongoing expense but frequency of purchases reduces as they grow slower. But again, can be done cheaply. If your frugal then charity shops are your friend for growing children. Shoes can be costly. Food doesn’t really cost that much extra until they are teenagers. At which point purchase a cow to keep them in milk.

Thanks for your responses :)

We wouldn't have parental help, as our families are not in London. So childcare would definitely be a cost in some sense (ideally I'd do part-time, as would love to be more hands on, but only if that's cost effective).

I would prefer to relocate, but my partner wants to stay in London because he has struck rather lucky with his job, so I don't feel like forcing the issue.

One option for childcare is for both of you to reduce your working week to 4 days (some companies allow compressed hours so you would still be doing 5 days worth of work and getting a full time salary) and do one day SAH each then only 3 days paying for childcare.

To be honest, I'd get that flat before having a child. With rent and childcare costs you could find yourselves pretty screwed. And actually, is it really that difficult to buy a property? I'm in zone 5 and 250k would get you a property with a great school catchement in a very family-friendly area.

Little kids needn't cost much in terms of food, clothes and activities.
Childcare/loss of earnings is the killer cost that means even professional couples might need to watch every penny. For example, DS's nursery is £1700/month full time but £1000-1200 options are also possible. However, warning under 100k, you become eligible for free 30h/week term-time when the child turns 3.

Yes, going part time seems a popular option too.

The only really noticeable cost was childcare. The rest can be scaled to how you want to bring them up or can afford.

You can get most things cheap or free but you can’t get free reliable childcare.

Ok, this is making me feel slightly more positive. We would be under 100k so would qualify for the 30 hours childcare. 4 days a week each could also be a possibility.

@JoJo - from my searches, the only places that cheap seem in need of massive refurbishment upfront, and not particularly close to public transport.

My recommendation is don’t have children and use all the money you will save to have a life of freedom and adventure!

^preach!

The 100k threshold is for either parent so both can be on 99k and still eligible for the free hours ;)

I don't think it's that bad on a 250k budget. Some examples from my neck of the woods:

1. Doesn't need work and is close to the station (zone 5)+ the gorgeous village centre. And it's a nice road with mostly Victorian houses + fab schools nearby

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-61608897.html

1. This one needs work but at least it has double glazed windows and central heating. It's vast - could be used as a 3-bed even. Probably 10-15mins to station + great school catchments.

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-83244863.html

I'd like to present a different view-kids cost EVERYTHING in terms of mental health, it is not something to go into half heartedly. Life as you know it changes 100%. Of course you have to look at how much it will cost financially, but you also need to look at wether you are prepared for losing sleep, sanity and everything else.
Don't get me wrong, having kids is the best thing I have ever done but it takes everything you have some days.

It has cost me my career: you really have to work part time for about 20 years. And then you are too knackered to have any sort of career...

As others have said, it's the loss of earnings. Agree with the poster who said it also takes a massive toll on your mental health.

The biggest and only significant cost is childcare. We have 2 kids (1 and 3) and pay £1590 for the youngest, £950 for the oldest (that's after the 30 free hour funding has been taken off!), so over £2500 a month for two in full time nursery! That's a big dip in income. I'd get a mortgage before you have a baby to maximise your affordability criteria.

Sorry we also get tax free childcare which is 2000 per child per year. We see that as extra income, but it effectively reduces the above nursery costs by £167 per child per month.

Oh, and there's child benefit if you earn under 50k. I think it's £20(?) a week. Possibly enough to cover the cost of food, clothes and toys for a baby or toddler (if you get some second hand stuff and shop around).

We manage on relatively low (third sector...) incomes in London. We split the childcare between us (both part time and flexible so we work round each other). We are very lucky in that we inherited a deposit for a flat at a crucial time though (well, not lucky that the family member died, obviously) so we had the flat first and children second.
If you can get out of renting before having kids that will serve you well.
What part of town are you in now, and where do you need to be for work?

Olivia I find this 'It has cost me my career: you really have to work part time for about 20 years. And then you are too knackered to have any sort of career' Quite scaremongering tbh, DS is 3.5, we are planning another - both of us work 5 days a week. I earn 10k a year more now than I did when pregnant with him due to changing organisations to one more family friendly and better paying (9-5 means 9-5)

Childcare was the killer for the 2 years 3 months between Mat leave ending and him turning 3, but we managed - though had you asked me before having him where we would find the money for it I'd have probably cried.

Yeah, as sad as it is, I think having children would be dependent on buying a 2 bedroom place. I wouldn't feel that comfortable renting, because of the insecurity and costs.

Yikes...childcare is expensive. Even with the allowance.

I understand about children being life-changing (as much as it is for a person who doesn't actually have kids). But I can't imagine a life without them....

Not being able to afford to buy a house/flat is a terrible reason to not have kids though- is that the world we want to live in, where only homeowners get to have descendants?
If buying somewhere is not far off then fair enough, but waiting years, and then potentially never having kids at all, seems like the kind of decision you will regret.

Loads but not all at once. The initial costs are the equipment you need, though it's possible to spend very little if you are disciplined, the cost of maternity leave then childcare - this varies a fair amount but full time expect to pay in excess of £1000 a month until they are 3, after which the government pays for 30 hours. Obviously there's clothes and toys to buy but between relatives and second hand this isn't a major cost

Once they hit school age there's wraparound care and uniform as well as normal clothes and toys, extra curricular activities start to kick in too. By secondary childcare costs are finishing but they start to need more expensive things however from 15 or so they can start to work part time,..

Oh then there's university but with multiple governments between now and then the funding may change!

Other than childcare the costs are manageable in my opinion

This is a very tricky question and I'll be honest, a question that only a non-parent would ask. Becoming a parent isn't about the money, yes its a huge part but when you have a child you are ultimately giving up yourself as a independent individual for the rest of your life. When you have a child you realise you are not the most important person in the world anymore, and that carries on until the day you die.
Everyone talks about childcare but this is a very short term cost in relative terms. Kids cost money, constantly and as they get older it becomes different and tougher.
Also in these times kids are living at home for longer and longer as they cannot get on the housing ladder....would this inflict on financial plans for yourself?
I have been a parent now for 16 & 1/2 years, this being my eldest and an 11 year old daughter so i do know what I'm talking about!
Do you have family around that can help with childcare or just general time out?
Im not going to go on as i could and end up sounding quite negative towards kids considering i have my own haha.
One last thing is, are you prepared should you not have a healthy child? Everyone takes it for granted that they will have healthy happy normal children...it doesnt always happen.
My son has Aspergers, something that has an immense amount of pressure on to a family and myself in caring for him. He can't help it obviously but it certainly didn't figure in my mind when having a child.
A couple we know tried for years and years for children costing themselves thousands and thousands in IVF. They had a boy 11 years ago and then he contracted a terrible illness and will pass away in the next 12 months. They never accounted for that.
I think what im trying to say is, having a child isn't about the cost. People manage with pennies to have children. For me its more about if its a life choice you want to make.

Remember that under the tax free childcare scheme the government will help with up to 20% of the cost. It's still hideously expensive having children in nursery but you just manage. Our nursery costs are more than our mortgage and if you'd said before I had children that would be the case I wouldn't have believed we could do it but you do.... somehow!

The first thing I'd do is lay out to your partner quite clearly the differences in the cost of housing and childcare in London as against other big cities, particularly where your families are. Don't forget to factor in any free childcare you might get if you were nearby.

Then, wherever you are, various things to think about.

• Dropping a day quite often doesn't leave you much worse off. The fifth day is the worst paid of the week.

• Childminders tend to be cheaper than nurseries.

• Free hours kick in the term after they turn 3, not as soon as they turn 3. You can't exactly choose the date your child is born, but some points in the year leave you much less waiting time than others!

• Look at which of you has the more generous leave package and consider tailoring accordingly.