Does anyone have any advice re family law concerned about DD and EX P

[shelly2kids]

My 9 year old DD who lives with her father is with me through the holidays. She doesn't want to go back to him and wants to stay with me.

I was due to take her back last Tuesday but I am unable to contact him to arrange anything. Also he has not bothered to contact me.

We went through a very complicated custody battle when DD was 5 and basically alot of brainwashing and lies won him the custody of my DD. Even though i voiced my concerns to Caffcass about his heavy drinking.

DD is very upset and adamant she wants to live with me and has also told me her father is rarely home and she is spending alot of time at her paternal grandmothers.

I really can't afford to go back to solicitors to overturn the court order and I'm not eligible for legal aid.

Can I just refuse to take her back or does anyone know of any forms I could submit to the court and represent myself.

I am at my wits end

I wonder can anyone help? My 5 yr old daughter made allegations against her dad 5 months ago. The social services and police reported no evidence to substantiate this despite my daughter telling myself and other professional friends. My ex has since filed an application for shared residence and contact and we have a concilliation appointment at the family courts coming up. I have just found out I will not be able to have legal aid so will need to represent myself. My ex has also requested a guardian be appointed to represent my daughters views. I am desperate to protect my daughter and understand if something has happened to her while in her dad's care. Has anyone any advice about what will happen at the initial hearing and anything that I can be doing prior to this? Many thanks

Hi melaniek (assume Shelly that you got your problem with your DD sorted?)

What will happen at the first court appointment is that you and your ex would normally have a meeting with the Cafcass officer (an official appointed by the court to consider the welfare of your DD) He/she will listen to your ex's reasons for the application and will then listen to your reasons for not agreeing, assuming that you don't agree to it. Even if your ex does have legal representation, his lawyer will not be allowed to go into that meeting, it will just be you and your ex so you will not be disadvantaged by not having a lawyer.

You will be encouraged to try to reach an agreement and if you can then there is no need for court involvement due to the 'no order principle' in that the court will only step in and make an order if it is in the best interests of the child and the parents can not reach an amicable agreement between them. Given your comments regarding your DD's allegations, I would imagine you will not willingly agree to shared residence.

If you therefore oppose your ex's application, you will then go before the District Judge who will then give directions (tell you what will happen) He/she will almost certainly order a cafcass report which will involve both you and your ex being visited at home and being interviewed and a report will then be compiled. Your DD is much younger than the 'normal' age for a child being spoken to but given the nature of the allegations, it is a possibility or else they may chose to observe DD with your ex (actions speak louder than words)

A report usually takes up to 12 weeks and can take longer in some areas. It is a possibility that the DJ may order interim contact between DD and ex but given the allegations, I would imagine that any contact would have to be supervised, either by a trusted family member or friend, or in a contact centre.

Once the cafcass report is available both you and your ex will need to prepare statements to be filed at the court and exchanged with each other. At that point you may wish to instruct a solicitor but until then there is no reason why you cannot act in person.

In the meantime, please keep a diary of various things that your DD has said and find out from your friends if they are willing to be witnesses and make statements if needs be.

Good luck x