What sort of access do dh's get for the kids?

[lunavix]

ie if it went through courts etc what would they be likely to be granted? Will custody pretty much be granted to me? (the mum)

Dh works full time, I work full time as a childminder, he's currently staying at his parents.

He's just phoned me - we only split yesterday! - to tell me he's picking the kids up 5pm tomorrow and dropping them off 8am Monday, which means I'll have no time with them by ourselves when I'm not working, except monday to thursday between 6 and 7.30 when I try to give them dinner and get them to bed! I don't think so.

I can see his point of view, but hell no that's so unfair.

What would he be likely to be granted? And if I was to be nice and we didn't go through courts what should I let him have?

kids sleep at mine every school night, he has every other weekend from school ti lsun eve, one tea time per week. hols are 50%

you are absolutely right to want quality time with them, yanbu

So the way you work it, he'd have them one day after work during the week then till bed or till the morning?

plus every other weekend friday till sunday pm

then holidays 50% so your other half has 7.5 weeks holiday a year??

tea time visit is til bedtime, they are here every morning for school run. hols - 3 weeks in summer, 1 week at easter, 1 at xmas and every other half term so 6 weeks one year, 7 weeks next (i think). wouldnt have a problem with splitting half terms, we just found it less confusing this way

Likely to be granted alternate weekends and, if you live close by, maybe one night in the week. Weekends tend to be Friday pm or Sat am to sunday tea-time.
You will get residence and he will get contact. Try to keep it as amicable as you can. No doubt he misses the children. But I can see your point that every weekend will mean you don't get one on one time with them and being told when he will see them feels aggressive and intrusive. The split is very recent so it must be hard for you, but if you could come to an arrangement of alternate weekends plus one night a week and unlimited phone calls, then that might save you fighting about it in court.

Half the holidays is often granted too, though that might not work for him if he is in a 9-5 job.

we did go through court, he fought me all the way. so thats is what the court thinks is reasonable. if you are deciding hols and stuff dont just go for you having them when he isnt working as you never know what you will be doing several years down the line, think long term if you can. childcare is expensive (as you must know as a cm!) so you dont want to be repsonsible for it all

okay that sounds fair.

I text him and said i wasn't happy with him having them all weekend, and he could have them friday night till sunday lunch or saturday lunch till monday morning. If he wanted he could have them a week night too.

I think that's fair... I just hope he doesn't think it's every weekend, best clarify that too.

if you think there is even the smallest chance he will get awkward you should start keeping a diary of what you arrange and how you both stick to it. hopefully you wont need it but you never know