Right, had to name change for this as feel so ashamed.
I have always been bad with money. My finances have very often been on a cycle of getting into debt then paying it off then getting back into debt. Ihave never saved and always lived beyond my means until I got a job that paid well enough for me to spend what I liked and not get into trouble.
However, I went part time a couple of years ago and then left to be a SAHM, but my spending habits didn't adjust to my decreased income. I ended up running up debts on credit cards which amounted to more or less my salary cut, about 20 grand or more.
Some of this I managed to pay off myself and some of it was generously paid off for me by DP, who had recently come into some money. It was really good of him and I felt bad about it.
However, some of it I had already secretly consolidated into a loan with a monthly DD repayment and I was too ashamed to tell DP about this, telling myself I could manage the payment each month from the small income I now have. In effect I told him I owed about half what I really did.
I cut up all my credit cards and closed the accounts but kept one for emergencies. Now I have run up credit on that and so have the loan plus a maxed out credit card.
So the money I have coming in personally to my account is just Child Benefit, Maternity Allowance which will run out in October and £150 petty cash allowance from DP. Housekeeping and clothes etc come from our joint account.
Should I tell him I have messed up again? I feel I should but after last time I also think maybe I should just get used to having no dosh and pay the debts off bit by bit monthly to teach myself the lesson that I need to learn.
The other thing I was thinking of doing was giving it a year, making all the payments and keeping a really tight control on the budget and housekeeping etc and THEN telling him once I have proved my mettle a little bit.
By the way I didn't really spend it on my self but on stuff for the house and kids.
Please don't tell me I am a waster and a spendthrift, I am more than well aware that I have issues that I need to tackle and take more responsibility for, much of it is "spending to make myself feel better" which never works.
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Overspending secrecy - what would you do?
10 replies
NoNameCosOfShame · 01/08/2007 14:19
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