I've been on my own over 2 years now, my ex, lives in the house we bought with our children aged 19 and 16. When we got together and decided to buy the house, I had a bank account and added her name to it, to make it a joint account. As time went on and the kids arrived, only my wages was going into the account, but we managed, she had her account and when she was working, her wages went into than, along with the child benefit.
After the birth of the second child, she wasn't well, so never went back to work, plus, she spent a lot of time caring for her mother. During our time together, my mother passed away, leaving me £5,000, this went into our account, several years later, I had an accident at work, this left me permanently disabled and unable to work. The insurance for the company wanted to settle out of court and upon agreeing a settlement fee, this money was paid by check and cashed into our joint account. I paid off the mortgage and the some of the substantial remainder was used on a holiday, but there was still several thousand pounds in the account. In 2015, I had a pension maturing, so I cashed it in and was going to use the money to convert the attic into a bedroom and put a new roof on our property.
Building regulations were obtained, plans drawn up and accepted by the local council. It was just a case of when my ex's brother, who is a builder, could start. Roll forward a couple of months and our bank called, to inform me than the account was getting low on funds, I didn't believe it, but went online to check the balance, it was true, there should have been thousands in the savings account and a couple of thousand in the current account.
My ex was out of the house, so I printed off the statements on both accounts, from the day I was given my compensation, the accounts had literally been emptied, it was clear to see, she'd been spending money like water, but there was nothing to show for it. I tried calling her, he phone was off, I called her mothers, no answer, so I walked to her mothers and walked in, I was boiling with rage and asked her explain her actions, she couldn't. I collected the statements and went home. She never came home that night.
I had a very restless night, mulling over and over, how she'd managed to go through so much money, I highlighted all of her spending, this was easy and we used to go shopping on a Thursday and the purchases I highlighted, were shops only she would go in.
Time and time again, I asked her what was her reasons for spending so much, she could not and did not answer. I'd calculated, she'd blown a big hole in £45,000, after several days of considering my options and the fact that she would not talk to me or give reason for her spending, I called it a day. I contacted the council to ask for a property, hours later, I was offered a property and moved in a couple of days later.
I had very little to start with, I took what money I could get from the joint bank account, put the utility bills in her name, had my benefits transfered into another bank account I'd set up and started to get on with my own life. I made an agreement with the bank we had the joint account with and had my name removed and also severed the joint tenancy on the property, which has no mortgage and made a will, to stop her from benefitting from my share of the property in the event of my death.
I found out last week, my ex, is suffering from arthritis and fibromyalgia, (something I've had since my work accident) and she's wanting to sell the house, to move into a more suitable property, according to our daughter, she got herself into a financial mire and has had to take out a bank loan for £7K, to pay of her credit cards. My current home is a rented bungalow and financially, I can't afford to take holidays and spend extravagantly, but I'm comfortable and live within my means.
Over the weekend, I got to thinking, that given all my wages went into our joint account and anything she earned or had coming in, went into her own account, I'd basically paid for our home on my own. As my ex is wanting to sell the house and I'm in no need of any money at the moment, can I tell her, that I will consent to putting the house up for sale, but I want more than 50% from the share of the property as I've paid for all of it. I think 65-70% in my favour is a fair amount and if she won't agree to my suggestion, I then won't give my permission for the house to be sold. The house was valued 4 years ago, at £120,000, if she agrees to the 35/65 split in my favour, she'll get still get over £42,000 and I should get somewhere in the region of £78,000, after any expenses.
Does anyone know if this is possible or has done it themselves?