Who pays for what-living with DP

[historysock]

DP and I live together with my two DD's from a previous relationship.
DP earns just over 35k more than I do.
Our monthly outgoings are 2500 (includes food, bills, mortgage, dog walker, broadband etc)
We currently pay £1200 (me) and £1300 him towards these costs-any money over is our own to do what we will with. Obvs DP has more free money as he earns more and has less outgoings (I pay separately for all stuff for my girls-clothes, going out, toiletries etc).
I lost all tax credits and any spousal
Maintenance I was getting from
Ex h when DP moved in-fair enough. So my own income has gone down by about £600.

Does this split on all the bills seem fair or should I be paying an extra £50 to make it absolutely even? What do other people do re splitting costs?

My dp moved in with me a few months ago and I also have 2 DC that aren't his. He pays me what I lost in tax credits plus money towards bills.

He earns more than me and pays for us all to have a nice life, meals out, trips out ect and I make sure shits paid with either my money or money he gives me. I don't think I could live with a tight git. I think 50/50 all the time is draining, I spend my money on dp and would hate it if we added up shit and made it 'fair' all the time.

I also don't think it's fair he doesnt reimburse you for money lost through support and tax credits. I think that's unfair of him, especially with him being able to afford for you not to have such a drop.

In my opinion, you're either a team or you're not...one pot for all income and outgoing,

In my opinion, you're either a team or you're not...one pot for all income and outgoing,

^ this for me too. You aren't married but are in a very committed relationship, living as a family, which, I hope, you both expect to be very long term or you wouldn't have moved him in with your children.

Protect yourself appropriately if you don't marry, but otherwise I would want shared finances.

I think it’s a tricky one. Generally I would say that since he earns more than you then he should pay more, but then on the other hand you don’t have shared finances as you’ve protected your share of the house.

I think you probably need to re-assess your budget and see what’s affordable as your out goings are quite high.

Outgoings are as low as they can be (but In fairness with some more luxury items like gym). We live in the south east. The mortgage is quite a big amount. The outgoings also include petrol, food, (we budget 100 a week for the four of us and animals), dog walking, car payment, DP and I's phones, contact lenses for both of us, council tax, utilities, home insurance, life insurance, and monthly gym payment for us both.

When my dp moved in I explained what I'd lose. Which was a lot thinking about it. Straight off the cuggge said. I'll pay for all bills Inc your mobile. I paid for the groceries and my car fuel.
He wasnt on a lot but never was fussed.
However even though its separate accounts. It's classed as our money.. If he's got nothing left I transfer him or visa versa.
If my ds needs something and I don't have it.. He pays for it. Same with his dd.
It works for us. You need to do what 2orks for you

I don't understand how anyone thinks it's fair for one person in either a marriage or cohabiting (whatever) to have less money than the other. It seems like quite a lot of ppl do this though! Baffles me. When my Husband was my boyfriend & moved in with me I was a single mum with a son, on not much more than minimum wage & claiming tax credits (working & child). When he moved in at first he was just paying what I'd worked out was half of what we both agreed were joint bills like rent, utilities etc then I was paying for things I considered mine such as my sons breakfast club/after school/holiday club, his swimming lessons, anything to do with my son really plus my own things like phone, paying back debts etc. As we did a joint claim for tax credits we obviously got way less than I'd been getting on my own which was expected. He was on minimum wage as well but due to how we worked it which had been my idea I never had any money left over but he did & when he realised after about 4 months he said that wasn't fair so he started giving me half of the total expenses/bills etc he insisted even though I didn't feel right about it. We carried on like that for a couple of years & it was great I actually had a bit of money which I'd never had left over before when on my own. We eventually got joint bank accounts which were just each of our original ones but with the others name added & all our money as one but bills still coming from the bank my wages were paid into then his one used for food shopping, any other spends. Fast forward nearly 9 years we both earn a lot more than we did but I earn nearly 3 Times as much as my husband but we still have all our money together I honestly can't think of any reason we wouldn't we're a partnership! Get it sorted with your partner before you start to resent him!

You lost spousal support and benefits because you moved in with another man to whom you are not married. He is not family.
You are roommates. Your children are your responsibility (and their father's).
Every house related bill should be 50/50. All child care bills should be yours. You should buy food and clothes for you and your children and he should pay for his.
If you get married, then everything can be calculated differently.

I don’t think there is a “fair” really. Every couple does it slightly differently. If you and he are happy with the current split, that’s fine......