I want to cry, advice needed from anyone who's gone through bankruptcy

[missyhols]

Long story short dh and i have alot of debt and are moving out of home this thurs and handing keys back to mortgage company. We have had lots of professional advice and our court day for bankruptcy is the 9th.

Anyhow a debt collector for barclaycard just rang me, i told him i can't pay him anything and that we are going bankrupt and he turned around and told me that we prob won't get it and its hard to do etc. So i put phone down in tears. I'm now terrified we won't even though only asset is3 grand car

It's not that far away.

By Christmas you will be through the worst of all this and you will be in your new home.

You get to start over, which is if you think about it, a really great opportunity to do things differently.

God yeah. We've learnt so much and we've become stronger as a couple too.

No phone calls today!

I'm getting nervous about going in to see judge etc. Keep thinking that the answers we give him won't be good enough. What if he say's no because we got married in nov? It was after that we realised just how bad things were. God we were so naive.

missyhols,
the Judge won't care what you did! You'll only have to explain your actions when you have your interview with the Official Receiver's staff. Just keep focussing on the 9th.

Lol. Thanks. I think i'm probably panicking over nothing but can't help it. Think its my hormones!

Okay, there's something you may not have realised Missy, but the judge will see these cases day in, day out and frankly they are ficking boring. He/she will look at the paperwork and say £20+K in debt, no chance of repaying......where is my stamp, oh yes, there is is.

Honestly, the judicial system has so many delays you will be lucky to get a three minute hearing! And as for worrying that you are married, you are PREGNANT FGS, do you not think the judge will take one look and think 'blimey they've got enough problems already, best grant this order pronto before her waters break and muck up my carpet'

Hey Missy, haven't been through any of this but will tell you that I used to work for the council where we would take people to court for non-payment of council tax.

The funny thing was we would always get people turning up thinking that they would get to stand before the judge and argue their case.

Sadly we would be taking 1500 people to court at the same time and the judge used to give US the rubber stamp to stamp them all ourselves!!!

Don't worry about any company trying to put the willies up you. Unless you have stacks of money hidden away I cannot see why they would not grant your bankruptcy. It isn't the end of the world and you are certainly not the first and won't be the last person made bankrupt.

I did used to deal with people who had been made bankrupt both in that job and a previous job (again debt collecting -trust me I was nice, threatening someone never gets someone to give you money you have to charm them) and it is a daily occurance, it's just you who feels like the only one.

Take care of yourself and the baby.

Thanks girls. Lol at clearing muck up off the floor. That put smile on my face! I do look ready to burst and have had lots of lovely people asking if its twins! I'm now stuck for some one to have my dd don't really want to have to take a 19 month old! Mind you they night kick us out quicker!

I am not sure you need to attend though - or whether both of you do, hang on a sec...let me check.

You only have to attend if you want to object to the bankruptcy being approved (ie if your creditors are forcing you into it).

It is a big big relief. When it's over, it's like a ten-tonne weight has been lifted off you.

Everything before - trying to sort it, killing yourself trying to avoid it, that burning feeling when the post comes, the nights spent staring at the ceiling..... is far far worse than afterwards.

When you think about losing your house, it is awful but when it actually comes to it, it can be so liberating just to not be in that hell any more.

And that's it. Done. Over. Finished. And you can start again.

God, I tried EVERYTHING after my business went under, to avoid bankruptcy, but I couldn't. And when it eventually happened (the IR did it, I didn't file for it myself) I was just relieved it was over.

Whomovedmychoc- didn't know that. We were warned it might take a while with the person before the judge but then we only have half hour with judge.

My two pence worth- god i know what you mean i can't wait to 1 get out this flat and into our new home and 2 to finally give the bastards who keep calling me and not listening to a thing i pay a ref number!

'It is a big big relief. When it's over, it's like a ten-tonne weight has been lifted off you.

Everything before - trying to sort it, killing yourself trying to avoid it, that burning feeling when the post comes, the nights spent staring at the ceiling..... is far far worse than afterwards. '

Too right!

I didn't have a house to lose - I was living in a rented flat alone at the time - but the level of stress was horrendous.

I could finally answer the phone again.

Poor you going through it alone. Well done x

It's NOT the end of the world! Really, MTPW is right, it's the start of a new, better beginning.

It was for me!

Like most, I struggled and tried everything to avoid it. The final straw was having no health insurance (in the US) after a redundancy and next to no money (was working temp jobs) when the car I was driving was struck by a drunk, uninsured motorist (who went to prison).

Hello Missyhols - how are you holding up? I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of you too (just found this thread) and hope everything is ok. I'm in the process of filing bankruptcy and the multiple daily phonecalls are piling up too, so I feel your stress. Some are more threatening than others but I give a reference number from the CAB and say thay can call CAB if they wish to discuss anything. The pause at the start of the call hints that it is the collections agency at the other end as they use an auto-dialler before someone actually speaks to you.

How are you feeling? You've come so far, that with resolution in sight, it must seem like the pressure is coming to a head. I hope everything is alright for you.xxxx

Hi hun. We moved today so been bit hectic. Got to hand keys in to a abbey as thats who our mortgage was with. Have you got your appointment booked a court yet? We go next thurs. Can't wait for this mess to be sorted. Its horrible getting calls isn't it. Are you going through it as couple or alone? I'm here if you need to chat x x

Hey Missy, how's everything? Did your move go ok? Hope you're feeling positive about your court date this Thursday, I haven't got a date yet, just still getting thae calls from Collections. I got CAB to write to all the creditors I've got on my behalf, asking them to hold off as I'm filing for bankruptcy and when I got a call from one of them last Thursday, they asked me whether I was still going to pay (eh??) and I asked if they'd got a letter from CAB, they put me on hold and then came back to me asking me to disregard their phonecall!!!! Wow!
Hopefully for you, after your court day, they'll leave you alone and you will be able to start a whole new chapter in your life, a stressfree one!
Let me know how it goes and in case I don't speak with you beforehand, GOOD LUCK!! Keep me posted.
Ohh, nearly forgot to answer your question, I'm going through this on my own, so any advice you can give is really helpful xxx

Move went ok bit sad and i didn't realise how much stuff we had. Still some at the flat we had so we'll get that out and then I've got to take keys to abbey. but on the plus the new house is great and I've been in garden with dd relaxing all day! Its good how cab do alot for you. We've done it mostly ourselves. Just been calling cccs alot and having appointments with them. Can't give much advice really, but i'm here if you need me. My email is [email protected]. Take care x x

missyhols, hope everything went okay today!