WWYD inheritance for complex family

[PercyBlonde]

I'll try to keep it simple!
Married couple for 40 odd years.
The woman was previously married with 3 kids. Their dad is in another country and has a couple of children with a new wife. He keeps in touch I believe and presumably will leave money to his kids.
The couple in question have 1 child together.
The woman wants to divide assets between all her kids equally and also leave some to grandkids. All the grandkids are from her first marriage kids.
The man doesn't want 'his half' going to those kids and grandkids, and wants it to go to his child only.
Current plan is to divide into 4 but add a bit extra to the ones who have grandkids. The man is going to leave all his personal savings to his child only. The woman will leave hers equally to her kids.
In effect this will mean their child will get a smaller portion than the children from the first marriage.
This all seems overly complex and I don't think any of the kids care what they get (this may be naive). None of the siblings are very close.
The assets are not above IHT threshold.
They may be needed for care costs later.
A matter of some anxiety for the woman is that one of her kids is estranged and had a child adopted. She wants to leave some to that child as they are in touch.
She has arranged it so the grandkids get money via their parents, not directly. But it's not possible in this case. She is concerned about 'outing' the estranged child to her current family who may not know she gave a child away when younger. They can't discuss the subject. If she leaves it directly in the will she is worried it will make it public.

I hope I haven't left out anything important. Basically my question is, is there a simpler way to sort this out??

Not a lawyer. Ignoring the adoption and outing:

Divide assets in half.
The DH wills all his half to his child.

The DW gives small legacies to each grandchild. Explicitly named plus 'any further children of X Y and Z born at the time of my death'.

Remainder of DW half divided into equal quarters to go between children.

I got a bit confused re adoption. It is a grandchild who has been adopted, but the DW is in touch? And the rest of the family don't know about the adoption, or just the details? Is the child an adult or a minor? I would hope a solicitor could advise on how this could be achieved.

Generally though, see a solicitor.

Split between DW and DH 50/50.

Then each do what they want with their 50%.

So I think though the 50/50 is sensible and easier, they have come to the arrangement of splitting the house into 4 plus small amounts for GC. DH does not seem to be fighting that anymore.

I like the idea of actually naming the current GC so they don't have to be associated with anyone, then adding the extra GC born after this date bit.

The adopted GC was adopted in near sight of the family so knows they are family and who his mum is, but they are not in touch. GC is an adult.

I think the DW is worried about putting his name on the will and then questions being asked 'who is this' by estranged Dds family.
Personally I think that is very unlikely! Especially is named separately with no reference to DD.

They have been to a solicitor about this and the will drawn up is so complicated and they aren't happy. It currently leaves a bit extra to any DC who have children, for them to distribute to GC. Doesn't seem clever to me, and surely has tax implications.

It was suggested one of us get the adopted GC portion, but that would then need to be given as a gift of 3 or possibly 6k, who knows if they are in a position to do that legally at the time. Seems better to have it all in the will.

I think what confused it further is, that the solicitor advised to just divide into 4, leave equally. GCs get nothing while DCs are living. If they die, that portion goes to GCs. Hence the having to specify one of them by name... ergh messy

Split between DW and DH 50/50.
Then each do what they want with their 50%.

Obviously this

House in trust. Life interest each, DH leaves his half to one child, DW leaves her half to all 4.

As for the rest (money/investments etc), up to them. If they plan to leave it to each other first then they have no control over it when the other dies, so could just leave that equally between all children.

Could leave gifts to grandchildren, but could just leave everything to children with gift down to grandchildren if child dies before. If parents are alive they can sort their own children out.

Alternatively, give each grandchild a set amount, excluding the adopted GC.

Give the adopted GC a set amount as a cash gift. Use a precatory trust in favour of adopted GC, using someone DW trusts to be discreet as the person left the money on trust with a side letter to say it should be used for adopted GC. That way not everyone has to be aware of what happened.

Thank you @CornishMaid1 that is very sensible. I will chat to them and solicitor about it all.

The problem is that jointly owned assets will automatically go to the survivor, who can then draw up a completely new will.

So if you want to be sure your children from your first marriage are not left out, you have to separate your share out which may not be that simple in the case of property.

Alternatively, give each grandchild a set amount, excluding the adopted GC.

Dont do this as it may impact on amount children inherit if care is needed. Set amounts come before general distribution.

So say estate is worth £200,000 now. Leave £10,000 to each GC and there best split between 2 children.

need care and so only £50,000 is left. GC would get £10,000 each and the children £5,000 each.

If you are going to do a split use percentages not fixed amounts.