3 children under 4 on maternity leave

[lorza03]

Ok sooo I’m on mAt leave who is currently 11weeks old. Me and my husband are struggling on the maternity pay and he is constantly working his butt off to pay all the bills.... Ita becoming a increasing stress and struggle every day- we are having a less expensive car and having to take my little boy out of nursery one day he currently goes 2 days to lower some costs. I am having to think about going back to work sooner than I’d like. I already feel like a guilty mum just having this thought as I don’t want anyone else to look after my baby / children. But then I feel like you just have to do whatever at the time to survive. Has any one got any advise or what did you do when off with your children.

If things were that tight financially why did you have another baby? Sorry, blunt I know, but surely you knew you were going to struggle.

I'm presuming your income for past 5 years has been significantly reduced with all those maternity leaves?

I never put any of my children in nursery when I was on maternity leave. Seemed like a waste of money to me.

Do you do lots of expensive classes? Try free ones at library etc.

I just didn't spend money on leave. So I didn't buy new clothes, no coffees out etc. Cut your cloth etc.

I was actually financially better off on maternity leave as I had no childcare costs, nursery cost more than I earnt.

Is your eldest entitled to 15 hours nursery education funding? Using that would give a few morning or afternoon sessions per week during term time and not staying for lunch would with luck mean not too much cost involved.

Spend time at home, at the park and places you can easily get to which have little to no cost. Children are happy playing with anything - the children I care for today used paintbrushes to 'water paint' paving stones and then had a picnic tea on a rug on the garden lawn.

Meal plan and cook as much as you can from scratch, in bulk. Food is a big expense so do what you can to keep the food costs down.

Going back to work - is that viable with 3 children under age 4? It can be but childcare costs can be quite high for that number of children in that age range. A nanny can be a viable alternative to childminder or nursery with that number of children, as a nanny is paid on a per-family basis, not per child. Make sure you look at any childcare funding schemes for which you are eligible... Tax-Free Childcare is possibly an option.

After I had my second child I just went back to work 2 days a week so my maternity money is now 600pcm I still have to pay some of my own bills my husband is unable to help with some of them and I equally don’t expect him to pay all my bills for me we are already under pressure. I have cut my expenses as much as I can we only go 1 play group where we have to pay 2 pounds, equally going to the park with a 10 week old breastfeeding baby a 2 & 3 year old can turn into a nightmare as I’ve experienced. I do have a professional job and was considering night work as then I would have to worry about the child care just means me and my husband wouldn’t see each other much.

going to the park with a 10 week old breastfeeding baby a 2 & 3 year old can turn into a nightmare as I’ve experienced.

Oh yes indeed it can. You get used to it though... just think about when you only had one child, much easier back then. A sling is invaluable when you have a little one plus toddlers/pre-schoolers.

Not sure how night work helps, you have to sleep at some point and sleeping during the day when you have young children isn't very practical. You have a professional job so you may want to think about what happens in 5 years time, in 10 years time... sticking with a career can mean costly childcare but you still stay on the career ladder.

We had 3 under 5 at one point. I just went back to work when they were 6 months old, we worked opposite each other so no childcare costs. I worked nights - awful but necessary at the time.

When you have 3 under 4 I don't see how you and your DH have your 'own bills'.
At this point it has to be a family budget, you both contribute to a shared pot, you're both working hard.

It's worth going through - turned out on my third mat leave that my DH was spending more on coffees and snacks at work than I was for me and 3dcs on all food, transport and groups.

Other than that, if you can do night work then needs must, but you will need down time - especially as it only gets busier once they get to 6-9 months and sleep less and move more. Will your eldest start nursery in September? If so, is there an option to take fewer full days over the years? I did 2 days a week including a lot of school holidays, and found it easier than every morning.

Do you have friends who you could do a swap with so one half day they have your 2 year old and vice versa? If you had a day with eldest in nursery and only the baby, you'd be much more able to cope with working that night.

When you have 3 under 4 I don't see how you and your DH have your 'own bills'.
At this point it has to be a family budget, you both contribute to a shared pot, you're both working hard.

Exactly what I thought.

My childcare costs exceeded our mortgage costs TWICE, nearly paying £1800 a month for my children in nursery
..just for me to go back to work full time in London. I ended up owing £10,000 on credit card which was a huge risk and I ended up in debt. However, 10 years on, I now earn x4 what I earnt when mine were in nursery, credit card paid off in 2 years and i have good pension in my own name. We are not wealthy but comfortable and we are not stressed financially as I can contribute half of all domestic outgoings. Plus both dh and I can look forward to retiring or downgrading job early.

It's not what you want to hear but my girl friends who have kept their careers are now laughing because they have their mortgages paid off and tidy pension. But they worked really really hard, fill time parenting and full time work, and full time childcare and we all suffered big time financially in the early days.