How much monthly do you plan to live off of for retirement?

[Mamabear12]

I am curious, how much money do people think is okay to live off monthly for retirement. My dh never wants to talk about this and I do not work, so don't know if I will qualify for any money for retirement. My dh makes a good salary now, but his retirement isn't great he says.

So my plan is, we live in a house that has been rented out in the past for 4,000 GBP a month. I assume in 20-25 years, it would increase or lets just say it stays the same, would that be enough to live off, if we move somewhere else that isn't so expensive (currently live in London, but would not want to live here when we retire). We would also have a big chunk of savings in case of a rainy day (lets say a couple hundred thousand, but would not want to use that for living, only for example if we need to if the house is in between being rented a few months etc..or for any extra costs that might happen).

Does that seem like an okay plan? My parents had such a good retirement plan, I feel like we are screwed in retirement as we haven't really planned and these days retirement plans just aren't the same!

You need individual and couple financial advice from an expert and not guesses from the internet.
Martin Lewis has a list here
www.moneysavingexpert.com/savings/best-financial-advisers/

DramaRamaLlama I guess its because I never paid attention. I could just look at my bank statement to see what I spend monthly. But its not consistent. It depends on when I pay school fees, when I pay for the children's extra activities, when I buy clothes, toys, books etc. A lot of these things, we would not pay for when we retire. I do not have access to my DH bank details, although he has show them to me from time to time, he pays the monthly mortgage etc. He just transfers me money whenever I say I need more money. I just checked my last statement and spending was over 3k. However, its not usually like that. I paid for a private test (harmony), plus a new side table, plumber on top of my usual expenses. My dh does not access my accounts and I don't his. But, I would prefer, if we had a join account, however, I never pushed it. And, I spend what I want now, I know in retirement we would have to rein in it!! We would cut back on things we don't need when kids are older, like au pair, cleaner 3 times a week, their extra activities etc. My dh does not make 7 figures, I wish! But he does make a good amount of money.

TalkinAboutManetManet I don't know. Some people bury their heads in the sand. He is a high earner, as we obviously had to go through credit checks, bank statements put forward etc when buying the house together. We own the house jointly (I helped with the down payment through family money), he also contributed a huge chunk and pays the monthly mortgage. I have seen his bank accounts and statements so I know he has savings (we used all we had for down payment, but a few months later he got a big amount from work - I knew this would happen, but when buying the house we could not wait for it, as we got a good deal and the people selling it were dependent on us so they could buy another house). If our marriage broke down, I would definitely not be able to live as comfortably, I would have to get a full time job....however, I would not be lost as he would never just cut us off...he would at least pay for the kids. If something were to happen to him, my mother and sister would help out if needed (they are financially well off). But again, I would still return to work etc and things would not be as easy, but all would not be lost. I really do not get why he is not contributing well into pension. It stresses me out.

I am going to set up an appointment with an advisor and sort out a plan. I will also cut back on spending for the month of July and see what we could live off of.

Finfintytint don't be so rude. I stated from the beginning, that we are comfortable now and I don't have to pay attention to what we spend, as I don't. People asked questions so I answered them. I have pretty much always lived comfortably, even when I was working and living off a 23k salary! Things just worked out. I managed to live in a flat share, have my own room and pay 500 a month for it. I never had to pay attention to what I spent in the grocery store. I never over spent. I lived within my means and was comfortable. I only paid for a cleaner once a month, as we had one coming once a week and we took turns paying. I know this is VERY lucky. Now, we have a higher income (or my dh does, but he supports this family) so its more comfortable and we have additional expenses we pay for.

I don't work now, so I guess that is my worry. I do plan on returning to work, but not the same type of office job I used to work. And even then if I worked 35 years to qualify, the state pension is not much! I just looked it up.

I would have to get a full time job

Would you be able to, though? You’ve been out of the job market a long time. After paying for half of childcare for three kids, plus rent/mortgage, and commuting costs, you might find you don’t have much left, if anything.

I would not be lost as he would never just cut us off...he would at least pay for the kids

Oh love, that made me laugh.
Have a look at the relationship boards here just to see how so many great husbands became lousy exes.

TheABC I never said I don't plan to every work again....if you read my posts, I said when my third dc starts school, I will start working part time. I already have a back up plan, but it does not pay the big bucks. I have trained and studied to teach a course, that runs part time. It is flexible, so after I have the baby I can teach it twice a year (which only pays 23 an hour to start, but goes up to 43 once you gain enough hours). But when third dc goes to school, I can up my teaching to earn more...but again this only pays probably 10-15k a year, as it would be part time. I have some other ideas that I might do, but at the moment, I stay home with the kids and dog. My older two are at school, which is why I was able to train the last couple of years to do something new. And as for social activities...no problem there. I have a lot of friends (prior to having kids, and new mom friends I have made the last 7 years). I also have my dog walking friends :) I also have a network through the course I have done, which will continue on as I teach (but the next 2-3 years, my teaching will be at a minimum).

MrHaroldFry thank you, I will check out the list and get planning. The last few years I lived with my head in the sand not thinking about the future....but its time to start planning.

You don't work, you have an au pair and a cleaner. What do you do with your time? You'd be screwed if your husband left you. I've never read such ignorance on here about money although I suspect it's just a stealth boast under the disguise of stupidity.

Not being rude. Just realistic. Please put yourself in the real world. Protect yourself and your income. Don’t be one of those women.

Never mind retirement, what if your dh went under a bus tomorrow?

TalkinAboutManetManet , I have retrained, so I could work part time, but if needed I could make that full time...it still would not be much...I would probably early like 25K a year full time, but that being said DH would have to pay something towards the kids. Some men are able to just cut their families off, but he would not. If he hated me and didn't want to pay me a dime, he would at least take care of the children. If he didn't, I would be able to get help from my family....although I would not want to and would work and pay for what I could, but they would never leave me to scrape by living a miserable life (they can afford to help and would do!). And as for childcare, I would only have to pay for the youngest for a couple years, and then would just have an au pair to help cover the hours between school and when I am at work. That is what we have now (they can take care of children from age of 2+)....but would still have the nursery fees until the youngest starts primary...I could even add being a dog walker to make more money...as my friend has a dog walking business....I have a dog already and spend hours in the park with her anyway...so could add 2-3 dogs and get paid for it ;)

Also, aren't there laws that make men pay child support???

Do you have daughters?

£4K a month is £48k a year so not too awful once children are past university and wedding stages but where will you be living if it’s rented out? Have I missed something?

I think you may need good advice and to start paying into a pension pot for you rather than thinking your husband has a pension so it’s fine. What if he dies? You’ll get a small portion of his pension and be much less secure in your old age. What happens if you’re renting your house and living elsewhere and he needs to go into a home? The house will be sold and the capital will disappear quite quickly.

You probably won’t want a full time job when you’re 70. See a pension advisor and start putting money away for your pension.

Au pairs should not be looking after 2 year olds and yes men should be paying for their children but look at the many threads where they do not.
Wake up.

DtPeabodysLoosePants this question gets on my nerves...my dh has said his friends/colleagues ask the same thing and it really pisses me off. The last two years I have trained part time in order to teach adults classes. So that takes up part of my free time (this requires me to attend classes, this year its only twice a month, last year it was weekly). I have essays to write, assessments and facilitations. We also got a puppy last summer, so she gets walks in the park. I attend all the kids teacher meetings, class trips, concerts, etc. I have an au pair, as an extra pair of hands as my dh isn't home when dc are awake. She is there to make my life easier and help with their French home work (they are completely fluent in French, but me and DH don't speak a word of French!). She in no way, does all of the childcare. We tag team. For example, she is reading to the kids in French while the sit and wait for breakfast....I make their breakfast. While I help one get dressed, she helps the other. She stays with the dog, while I walk the kids into school and then she goes to her language school, while I take over the dog and let her run in the park, playing with other dogs. After school, she will for example take one child to tennis, while I take the other to the park. Or she will take dd to gymnastics, while I pick my son up from football. Or I will stay with the kids in the park, but she will take the dog home and start preparing dinner. I will bath the kids, while she tidies the dinner. She will help with their French homework, while I cook or while I tidy the kitchen etc...the only time she ever has the kids alone is when I have my school, which is not often. While the kids are at school, I might go to the gym, work only my school, work, take the dog to the park, go to grocery store, do laundry, tidy etc. My cleaner comes 3 times a week...but the house is STILL a mess. I find it impossible to keep clean with 2 kids and a dog, leaving toys around. My kids are getting better now they are older. I also, find myself sweeping on the days the cleaner is not hear...as the dog brings in dust and dirt.

Finfintytint and that is why I am thinking of retirement now. I get that I have been stupid not planning, which is why I am starting to plan something. I also suffer from, putting things off (do this with my school essays as well), do this with a lot of things....so I am trying not to put this off any longer.

@trilbydoll I know he has insurance if he falls ill, but not quite sure if he has something if he gets hit by a bus. I need to sit down and ask questions. I guess it would be the same, if lets say he left me and the kids and decided not to pay us a dime (he never would, as he is a family man and would at least pay for the kids!)....I would just have to work. But my family would also help (they can)....but obviously I would do whatever I can to support myself...but if for example I could not afford something for the kids, I know they would help.

Ok an au pair and cleaner 3 times a week. Very different to how I live. However each to their own it's not a dig. But if you have that kind of money and children you should be taking care of the future and you should be very up to speed with family finances especially cos it could be taken away if a relationship breakdown. A meeting with a financial advisor with both of you would cover this and start you off. With your income and outgoings the state pension isn't much but to some it's their sole income in retirement. This could quite easily also be you if you don't protect your future. I wouldn't feel settled relying on someone else for my future. You will be in a better position when you return to work though.

This is actually quite tragic.

OP, I hope you and your husband live happily to an old age and have a great marriage and retirement. That’s the dream.

However, you have to look at the worst case scenario. Financially speaking, that’s not him dying as you’d likely have death in service benefit, and his pension. Worst case is marriage breaking down, him remarrying, and having more children. Like a lot of first wives, you might find that his interest in supporting his existing children wanes.
Have a look at this calculator to see how much he’d have to pay, then vary the figures to allow for the scenario of him having more children with someone else.
www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance

Additionally, you seem to have no clue about his financial standing currently, so you definitely won’t have it if he ever left and you were to divorce. There are countless stories on here of men hiding their income, or going self-employed in their jobs and suddenly reporting a substantial drop in earnings for the purpose of avoiding paying child maintenance.

What if he gets 50/50 custody, and you get zero child maintenance?

It’s great that you don’t think your husband is capable of this but the fact that you don’t even know his pension situation now suggests that maybe he’s not entirely upfront with you?

Do you honestly think an income of £25k will cover the cost of rent:mortgage on a home large enough to house you, three children, and an au pair in London?

Like I said, I hope you never have to face this, but you’re being incredibly naive to not look at how you can become self-reliant in some ways. You’re dependent on your husband currently, and plan to be dependent on your sister and mother should your marriage end.

That’s a ridiculous approach to take and you’re leaving yourself, and your children, in a very vulnerable position.

I am interested as to what course you are studying that will enable you to earn £23 an hour as a starting point? Is this a professional teaching qualification? What teaching qualification will you receive at the end of the course and as I assume you are paying to attend the course I would be interested to know its cost?

Hardly anyone I know has a good enough pension to end up with half their salary.
Most people I know, their pensions have made a loss in the last year.

I'm in my 30's and don't work either. I'm surprised you just rely on your DH to sort everything out for you. Why not see an Independent Financial Adviser and take responsibility for your pension?

As a SAHM, you can fill out the child benefit form and send it off. You just tick that you don't want the money but all the years until your youngest child is 12 will count towards your state pension. You can also start a Lifetime ISA - the government will top up your contibutions with 25% (up to 4K+1k annually) and you can use the money in retirement. You can also pay into a pension even if you have 0 income. If you pay in £2880, it'll be topped up to £3600 (that's max for non earners).
I imagine your DH is a high earner (over 210k) so his annual pension contributions are capped at 10k/year. I don't think it's very sensible to rely on just one rental property and 200k in savings as your retirement pot if you're used to having a lot of money.

As pps have said, at the very least make sure you're getting the credits you're entitled to towards your state pension.

You can get a state pension forecast online via the Government Gateway website.

CherryPavlova I was thinking we could use the money for rent and living if needed. So for example 1,500 on rent and the rest on living (with savings for times when house isn't rent etc). However, a house will be left to me (all paid for), so we could live there eventually or sell it, buy somewhere smaller to live and have more savings...or rent the second house out as well and live off both rent (plus renting somewhere as well). However, I also want to come up with a plan that does not include rent. Brought it up to my dh and he said he could just invest...I'm like invest in what?? At least he has agreed we should talk about it, so now I just need to set a time next weekend (he works late during the week) so we can discuss it properly.

Finfintytint au pairs can take care of children from age 2...according to au pair websites, they should not be watching babies or children under age of two. I have seen many au pairs watch children 2 (and younger!). I live in an area with loads of au pairs. We only had an au pair from when our dc were 3 and 5. The au pair would NOT be taking care of the baby....I only said from 2 if circumstances required and we had to, but most likely that would not happen. And I guess those men also completely abandon their children, don't see them etc? My dh would never do that...but think ask you like. Even if he did, like I said, I would have support from my family.

Thanks everyone for the tips. I will start tomorrow with my research, I am knackered so off to bed.

Being interested in your long term financial health is very good.
Currently and long term you seem to have lots of potential assets.
Being more aware of your outgoings (heat electric car insurance etc) is the next step.
I’ve met with my bank financial planner annually, making an appointment will be important to make sense of the income and outgoings.

TalkinAboutManetManet, I assume I would get the house, as most women do in divorce. We currently live in a 5 bedroom house in London, if we split, and had to sell the house half of it is mine (including the large chunk of deposit I put in, which is protected and will all go back to me, as we had a lawyer involved)...so with half the money, I could still buy a 3 bedroom in London, in a less expensive area, all 3 kids would have to share a room or one child w me and 2 children together and au pair in their own room. I know families that put 4 kids in a room! And a few put 3 in one room. We only use up 3 rooms now, as our kids share a room (they don't have to, but choose to) or sometimes one will sleep in our room etc. And yes, I get what you are saying if men re marry and lose interest in our dc. DH is a few years from 50, so the chances he would want to pick up and start a new life/family is slim. But yes, I get what you are saying. I do need to protect myself and it is stupid to just rely on him. The line of work I talk about has MANY opportunities to expand to earn more money. I do not want to give too much info, as it might be outing.

@crimsonlake I can message you the details. I already have a masters degree, but this is another degree and costs several thousand, as a University degree would. I am doing it, because I do not want to return back to what I was doing prior to children.

@JoJoSM2 I did not realise you could do this regarding child benefit. I am not a UK citizen, but I qualify. I assume you have to be a UK citizen for this? And yes, dh is a high earner. I know its not sensible to rely solely on rental from one property, which is what I told dh now. I will look into putting money away for retirement. But I just want to make sure that money would not be lost, for example if something were to happen to me, would my dc get the money?

Not sure if i should plan. All my grandparents (and husbands) died far before the current retirement age. I'll be squirreling away for nothing. Living for now

DramaRamaLlama I guess its because I never paid attention. I could just look at my bank statement to see what I spend monthly. But its not consistent

Do you have any idea how ridiculous you sound?! Of course spending isn't consistent mth by mth but you average it out!

This mth I paid the DCs school fees x4, I'm not stupid enough to call that monthly expenditure but obviously a 1/12 of it is.

If you're not trolling (and in the nicest possible way it's difficulty to imagine anyone is as naive as you) then you really need to get on top of this.

I am retired and most of the time haven't a clue what I need or what I have in monetary terms. Never think about it. As long as I manage comfortably, I don't care. Husband is six months older than me, semi retired, works part time. He probably thinks about it more than me and makes plans.