To put money in a sympathy card? Yes or no?

[BabyB04]

The family have set up a go fund me page, I’d rather give it to someone in particular. I have reasons which I won’t state. Do you think this is acceptable? Or rude to put it in the card? Thank you

Growing up I remember family giving cheques to families of the deceased was quite common place if they asked for charitable donations rather than flowers. I would never send flowers, a lot of people don't like them these days in my experience unless very close family.

If they have set up a gofundme page they obviously need it. I've never heard of this before but given circumstances wouldn't think it unreasonable. The message pp stated would be very apt.

(Sorry wrong thread!)

If they have a go fund me I think it would be appropriate to enclose money - we asked for donations to charity in lieu of flowers and many people sent cash in cards. But weird if no fundraiser was happening, but entirely appropriate if they’ve actively asked for financial help. (Different if they weren’t behind the go fund me page obviously).

Maybe write a note with the cash explaining you understand a fundraiser has been set up and you have enclosed your contribution?

I wouldn't put it in the bereavement card, but possibly give the money separately in a normal envelope?

Yes, do. If I remember correctly you can't access go fund me for at least a me, if they are struggling now cash is a good idea.

Oh no I'd definitely not put it in a sympathy card and it would upset me if I received money in this way regardless of whether I'd set up a funding page.
Sympathy card should be personal and heartfelt. Totally separate issue to the money.

I don’t really understand why, if you want to contribute, you don’t use the system set up for that? You say because you want to give it to someone in particular. But if you do that, can’t that be misinterpreted as you just giving them money? As in, if it was specially for the thing they are fund raising for, why not go through the ‘official’ route.

So I think you need to ask yourself whether if you give this specific person money, will they get what it’s for and why you have chosen to do it this way? And if they don’t get why, is there a danger they might think you are somehow just randomly giving them money as part of your condolences. I’m leaning towards not doing it this way.

I wonder if it’s something that a friend of the family set up and OP doesn’t trust that it will all actually get to the family?