How expensive are your children?

[PirateWeasel]

I've heard so many conflicting opinions from my friends IRL. Some say babies are the most costly because of high nursery fees. Others say school age because of uniform, extra curricular stuff etc, and others say teenagers because they want high tech gizmos, driving lessons and so on...

So apparently kids are always going to cost shedloads of money whatever age they are! But I'm curious to hear your experiences of which stages you found the toughest financially. I need to prepare myself... and my wallet! 😂

I have four and think the teenage years have definitely been the most expensive ! We didn't have high child care costs when they were little as we always worked around each other. We have 3 boys so handed stuff down. Once they hit teenage years they all grew rapidly and needed mens size clothing and shoes which cost a fortune. We have one at Uni now and pay for his accommodation. we've helped the eldest two with driving lessons etc. Bus passes alone are £400+ per year for the two middle children to get to college. My eldest two boys have part time jobs so that helps. Teenage boys also eat a huge amount, they can go through a packet of cereal in a day or two if having a growth spurt. When they were little they were breastfed, had second hand clothes and were relatively cheap !!! I guess it depends how much you are prepared to help them as they get older but once you've started for one you really have to then be fair to the others. We are lucky we can afford to help them. The number of activities ( eg scouts, football subs etc ) have diminished as they get older, it's only my dd that does football now.

Teenagers definitely

Mine are getting more expensive. I didn’t find the baby stage too bad; we got loads of hand me downs in fab condition (babies only wear things for about 3 months and don’t do anything except lie there) and almost all of the kit was obtainable from charity shops or as loans from friends. Nappies for 3 under 3 were expensive, but even those can be cheaper if you do reusable. I’m a SAHM at the moment because the nursery fees were more than my salary, so there was no layout there other than losing my salary, which was okay as we’d mentally calculated for that before trying for kids to begin with.

Now the oldest are primary school age and the youngest is in nursery, clothes are much more expensive because they ruin things more quickly we don’t get many hand me downs. They grow out of their shoes every two minutes and need different kinds of shoes at any given time for different activities. Having twins as the oldest is a bit of a double whammy because it’s a double outlay for new items. Then there are all the extracurriculars. Those add up really, really quickly when multiplying by 3. 😳 School trips. All the birthday parties (both attending and throwing). We’re thankfully in a great school catchment so don’t feel the need to pay schools fees at the moment, but if we did it would have kicked in by now.

The worst I’m finding at the moment is how much more expensive much travel has gotten. No more lap infants on planes. Hotels rarely have family rooms that will fit 5 people (vs parents and some
babies), so we usually have to get suites or two interconnecting rooms. Skiing for 5 is extortionate.

They eat more now too. When I come home from doing the shopping it’s like a plague of locusts.

I have to say that as bad as it is, I know the teenage years will be far worse. We have 3 girls, so the clothing budget increase alone will be a nightmare...

Perhaps if you only had one it would be cheaper and you could devote more time and money to them (I always wanted to be an only child)

Skiing for 5 is extortionate.

My heart bleeds for you.

I kind of think that although yes obviously cost of adult size clothes is going to be more than child size, but costs dont have to go up to the extremes some posters talk about. Its kind of how you bring them up.

My dc get presents at christmas and birthdays and if they want things at other times they either earn it or they save from their pretty modest pocket money. Dc1 has a friend for example who at age 11 spends £10+ on his online gaming per week. He expects that where for our ds it is a treat.

Teenage years have been eye watering- it's like feeding and clothing another adult and now we're looking at £100+ per week for rent at uni. Gulp!

If you give up work your salary hit is going to be way, way more than nursery fees.
Ours are early primary and it's not too bad at the moment.
Main things at the moment:
Having to book 2 or preferably 3 bedroom accommodation to let everyone get some sleep on holiday.
Just got a bigger car so an adult can JUST sit between them in the back if she e.g. one of my DPs visits.
2? 3? broken TVs (mainly due to toddler stuff TBF).
Holiday clubs are not too expensive at this age.

Mine are 10 and 5, I don't think they cost that much. Neither of them is that into extra curricular, I fact I have to force them to go to anything.
I would say clothes for the oldest because he has to have "the right stuff" now, so branded clothes and shoes. They both grow pretty quickly. Holidays and days out are more expensive as they are both over the age of a fee place or ticket now.
We are far from snobs but I wouldn't buy second hand clothes for my kids, or use hand me downs.

Mine are not too bad but I have a big gap. One is a teenager and one is 4, so presumably by the time the 4 year old is a teenager the teenager will have left home.
Teenage years are the most expensive.
But I'm still paying childcare costs for the 4 year old until September anyway.

I think 2-3 is most expensive as most costly nursery fees.

I found the baby stage fairly cheap, but that’s because I’m not an expensive pushchair person and we went out quite a bit before children so that money just shifted to cover things, and I’m a sham. Certainly second babies are cheap as chips.

I suspect university is going to be the difficult bit, but mine know we are only helping not paying the lot.

University is costing £9k a year, having your kids close together suddenly doesn't seem like a good idea! But this only affects you if your household income is over £50k, though that is combined of course!

It depends how it’s all calculated. Generally minimum spend from 0-18 is 100k. More if you used wrap around childcare / after school clubs or lessons.

The incidentals like clothes, food, gadgets get more expensive as they get older.
The salary sacrifice and/or childcare costs are the biggest expense followed by any additional housing cost.

I have 3 teens and they are definitely the most expensive. Clothing, eating out, trips, holidays - you are often paying adult prices.

Teenagers definitely. Its ridiculously expensive and they grow so quickly. Clothing (shoes in particular) barely worn before its too small.

Pre school, people always say teenagers to me but I doubt there will be a time where I am paying £1600 a month, every month, when they're teenagers. Even now they're in school we're still paying £400 a month for after school care. And this is just childcare, nothing else.

If you won't use second hand or hand me downs, what do you think is happening to the clothes you discard? Are they going to the magic black hole of "away"?

We had 2 in private nursery after we deferred DD1 (Scotland). £5000 each for the year.

If you won't use second hand or hand me downs, what do you think is happening to the clothes you discard? Are they going to the magic black hole of "away"?

We have a clothing route in our family which goes from DNephew to DS1 to DS2 to DNephew2. But there are still certain things you have to buy.

Teenage years most definitely are extortionate. One in uni with eyewatering accommodation fees and another in year 10 with an expensive hobby and feet that grow at a ridiculous rate, adult Nike trainers (Airforce ones) cost a lot.

Like Grasspigeon says, the biggest costs are childcare/salary sacrifice and housing. We've only got one little one but it's either a case of me staying at home and not earning or paying for a nanny to work as he is ill half the time and nursery or childminder wouldn't work. If he was a teenager, he'd cost a few hundred a month in stuff and activities but I'd have my salary back so we'd be much better off.

I must have weird teens as they don’t seem to cost as much now as they did at primary school!

Dd is 15, has been the same shoe/clothes size since 13 and doesn’t like designer labels or shopping! she’s quite happy with a twice a year trip to primark or has a mooch on eBay for what she wants. Most expensive thing about her is art supplies, which she mostly buys herself out of babysitting money.

Ds is 14 and went from boy size to medium men’s overnight around 12 - he lives in band T-shirt’s and ripped jeans - the older and grungier the better so pick a lot up second hand.

They both eat normal sized meals same as us.

The toddler on the other hand seems like he needs new clothes every other week! I’m a sahm so no childcare fees, but soft play/swimming/outings cost quite a bit weekly