Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Money matters

Find financial and money-saving discussions including debt and pension chat on our Money forum. If you're looking for ways to make your money to go further, sign up to our Moneysaver emails here.

Work for my wife

54 replies

Dekrissh27 · 18/05/2019 16:30

I am applying for U.C.
Please anyone advise me on this.
I work 37 hours a week. I got two kids age 10 and 16.
My wife doesn't work she look after kids, teach them, doing school run, shopping, cleaning etc.
Will she be forced to work?
My both kids preparing for their exams
She cant for work for 3 years.
Will job centre will impose any conditions.
I am confused.
Please advise me.
Many Thnaks

OP posts:
Jaffacakebeast · 19/05/2019 09:14

Looks like I’m alone here, but I agree, if you work full time, what’s wrong with a few hundred quid a mth in UC so your wife can stay home and parent. I think kids benefit from this, I also tie the rise in abused kids/gangs/knife crime into kids being “latchkey kids” having no parents at home after school is the new norm, but not 1 I like. I certainly don’t begrudge my tax money paying for it. If they do make your wife work, she could work from home. That’s what I do, so do all school runs etc

CruellaFeinberg · 19/05/2019 09:16

If you are doing 37 hours a week, you should be getting at least 1200 a month on minimum wage

Nothing of what you say shows your wife cannot work, her children at at school during the day, so what are these childcare bills that you are talking about? Yes school holidays light be tricky, but there is no reason she cannot work

SchooledUp · 19/05/2019 09:20

If you're happy with what you earn currently then don't apply for UC, if you're not then you and your wife need to work more hours! Benefits are a safety net not a way to facilitate your lifestyle. My DH and I work ft, I've managed to coach my DD through her GCSEs too, it's nearly burned me out tbh and I don't think the house will be clean until they're over but it's what reasonable people do, you can't just refuse to work because it doesn't suit you.

AlexaShutUp · 19/05/2019 09:27

What nonsense Jaffa.

OP, if you can't afford for your wife to stay at home, she will need to find a job. I understand that it may be daunting to look for employment if she has never worked in this country before, but you cannot expect the state/taxpayer to pay for her to stay at home and coach your children through their exams. In any case, it's perfectly possible for two working parents to support their children academically while also holding down a job.

Not many people do a school run for kids of your DC's age either. Can't the 16yo look after the 10yo after school if you're not comfortable leaving the younger dc alone? If not, isn't there an after school club or something that the 10yo could go to?

SciFiScream · 19/05/2019 09:30

My 12 year old gets himself to school and back (secondary). He gets the bus, cycles or walks. 3 times a week he collects his 9 year old sister from the after school club so that his Dad and I can both work. (We're either working from home or home about 40 minutes after them)

I work two jobs and my DH works full time.

I think your wife should find a way to gain confidence to go and find part time work.

Good luck.

LIZS · 19/05/2019 09:31

She can't coach the kids while they are in school. At that age they will soon do their own school runs. Which opens up at least 25 hours during which she could work.

CostanzaG · 19/05/2019 09:34

Jaffa do you have any actual evidence for your claims?? Or is it a narrative you've chosen so your wife can avoid work?

If you can't afford to live off what you earn then your wife need to work. Benefits should be an absolute last resort not an alternative to working.

Iwrotethissongfor · 19/05/2019 09:44

OP I’m a lawyer and notice on mumsnet people tend to advise on what they think the position ought morally to be, rather than what it actually is. If you’ve contacted the UC helpline and found it unhelpful or unreliable you’d be best searching for a law centre (free legal advice, often run helplines), money advice centre or local citizens advice bureau.

NGC2017 · 19/05/2019 10:06

Really Jaffa?? So are you saying kids that have a parent at home become better people for it and are at lesser risk of falling into trouble? Do you have evidence for this? Absolutely ridiculous. Insulting in fact. Many kids come from hard working families where they have had to take themselves to and from school and spend a few hours on their own after school whilst their parents finish their work day. That does not mean they have a higher risk of becoming 'a bad kid'.

Im pretty certain if some parents could be more present in their kids lives they would. But no one can live for free! Working also makes you a good role model to your kids. My parents are extremely hard working, always have been, and have instilled in me a very strong work ethic which I am proud of. If I've ever fallen out of work I'm not out of work for long. There are 3 of us (siblings) and we have all grown up with our own houses, cars, families and all holding down a job and have never gotten into any trouble. I also remember my parents both earnt minimum wage and received no help at all, so we grew up really hard up but have turned out fine.

But the issue here is there is a huge window where the OPs kids are at school. At least 6 hours a day. There is absolutely no excuse to not work during these hours. That's what I do. So I am still present in my sons life. But when he moves to secondary school I will look at increasing my hours as by that time I am sure he can manage an hour or 2 after school on his own.

Being around your children watching their every move does not mean your kids will not fall in with a bad crowd or are at risk of bad things happening.

I would not support my taxes paying for anyone to remain out of work for OPs reasons. I have no issues with benefits as long as there are valid reasons for it, and I do believe there are many reasons out there that warrant the support. But OPs is not one of them.

Jaffacakebeast · 19/05/2019 10:14

Did I not say ‘I think’ as in my opinion. Which I am entitled to. I also said the Op’s Wife could work from home during school hours. You’re all so judgemental

Oldbutstillgotit · 19/05/2019 10:16

With those wages I assume you work part- time ? As a former Work Coach Team Leader, I would expect my WCs to support you to find full time employment and your wife at least part time. I dealt with this situation so often , it pissed me off that the tax payer is expected to pick up the tab for lifestyle choices .

CruellaFeinberg · 19/05/2019 10:27

@Oldbutstillgotit op says they work 37 hours a week

KarenTheCashRegister · 19/05/2019 10:31

But if they work full time how are they earning £530 a month. He needs to look for a job on minimum wage at least.

AlexaShutUp · 19/05/2019 10:34

You’re all so judgemental

And you're not? Seriously, re-read your earlier post! You come across as being ridiculously (and erroneously) judgemental towards working parents. Apparently, we're responsible for child abuse, gangs and the rise in knife crime....

lovelyupnorth · 19/05/2019 10:38

I hope they do. Can’t stand people who claim benefits when they could be working.

NGC2017 · 19/05/2019 10:39

Is the reference to earning over £530 a month because there is a limit you can earn on UC before award is reduced?
Working 37 hours a week I would bloody expect you to be taking home at least double that, and that's based on you getting minimum wage

Oldbutstillgotit · 19/05/2019 10:43

@cruellafeinberg for £530 per month ??

EggysMom · 19/05/2019 10:44

I'm not sure how the OP works 37hrs/week and yet only has an income of £530 per month. Something is wrong with the figures, either they are not working 37hrs, or that is the figure per week rather than month.

Sorry OP but I hope you are not entitled to any additional funds under UC. I don't see why my taxes should pay for your wife to stay home and tutor - outside school hours - your children. If that's the way you wish to bring up your children, absolutely fine, but don't expect anybody else to fund the lifestyle.

CostanzaG · 19/05/2019 10:45

Well instead of offering ill informed judgemental opinions Jaffa try doing some research.

And I will judge people who choose to claim benefits when they could work.

GreenTulips · 19/05/2019 10:47

DD is 16 doing exams and she works 2 jobs

I think your wife can manage

Pinkprincess1978 · 19/05/2019 10:51

I don't think the op meant they only earn £530 but someone upthread quoted that as a minimum for getting benefits and they said they earned at least that.

Sorry but I agree with the majority, of you can't afford for your wife not to work without relying or getting benefits then you can't afford that luxury. As Jaffa pointed out though, she may be able to find work in the home if she so wishes but as your children are out as school most of the day there is no reason she can't work out of the home - she can't be coaching the children while they are at school so all the things you think your wife needs to do instead of work (which the rest of us still have to do you know AND work) can all be done after school hours.

CruellaFeinberg · 19/05/2019 11:51

@Dekrissh27 said I work 37 hours a week.
@Myhelp said I earn over 530 pounds a month

I said If you are doing 37 hours a week, you should be getting at least 1200 a month on minimum wage

I think they are the same person?

Deadheadstickeronacadillac · 19/05/2019 12:43

I work full time, I am in a wheelchair, I have 2 children (one secondary, one lower primary).
I teach secondary school children and am head of department so am preparing children for exams all year round; very often at the expense of being at home with my children.
For his last year at primary, the boy took himself to school and was at home for an hour after school by himself.

You and your wife are taking the piss, get a bloody job and stop making such pathetic excuses.

Lazypuppy · 19/05/2019 20:33

There is no reason why your wife can't work. By the time your application goes in the exams will be over anyway

user1497800655 · 19/05/2019 20:43

Bottom line your wife needs to work!

Damn right she does like the rest of us do.
I don't know where it all comes from but if it as true as they say there is not the benefits available in many developed countries as there is in the UK and the message needs to get out there.
Otherwise the idea of coming to the UK for the so called better life is nothing but a myth…...

Swipe left for the next trending thread