Does anyone's parents live with them and how do you work out the money?

[Reythelastjedi]

Parent wants to move in, not a problem, we're looking to move towards the end of the year, we'll just look for something with a granny flat or similar.
Discussing finances and it transpires she's expecting to live rent free. Which would be fine if we were getting a substantial chunk of the money she'll get for selling her home, but no, that's not on offer either. Apparently she'd buy her own food.
Obviously that's not.going to work, we can't afford to fund her. Just wondering how other people do it.

What will the additional costs be?

A small amount of gas/electric? Water if on a meter?

What else?

If your moving to accomadate her in annex id charge her the difference in rent/mortgage monthly, plus a small bill contribution. Maybe 50quid She can pay her own food.
I think rent free is a tad cheeky of her

Id probably want a bit more money as compensation for the hassle and lack of privacy....but my mother is hard work lol

No money in the world would make this a good plan. Really have you even thought about this properly. Are you going to take on all their care when the time comes. That can become a 24hour job. Can you afford to give up work to care for them? Are their financial long term implications? Do you have kids? How will this impact on you are your DH? Really so many issues on top of finance.

No way.... just no way!!!

Why are they telling you how it's going to be? I would think VERY long and hard, this will not be an easy situation to resolve should relations breakdown.

Buying their own food does not even go halfway to covering their own costs!

Getting a larger mortgage based on possible income is ridiculous because if she moved out you would be left with the cost.

Thanks for all your messages, you has raised some good points. I am aware that it's a big commitment and that by agreeing to do it we'd be agreeing to host her until the end of her life.
I wouldn't be quitting work to look after her but would consider going part time if finances allow.
I also think either she pays rent or we get a.substantial chunk from the sale of her house to offset the cost.
And good point about the mortgage, we'd need to able to cover it if she moved out.
Thank you for your messages.

Obviously it will depend on circumstances, but having her make over a large sum of money could backfire if she needed residential care in future. It could be seen as 'deprivation of assets' - local authorities are very hot on this if funds run out and they need to foot the bill.

Personally I think that expecting to live rent free is just not on. A fair share of bills should go without saying - certainly utilities and council tax, even if she pays for her own food.

As an aside, it would be very sensible to make sure that there are powers of attorney in place, for both finances and health and welfare, just in case. Lack of these can cause all sorts of major headaches later, particularly if the person goes on to develop dementia and becomes suspicious about motives, or for any other reason lacks the capacity to agree to these.

If she gives you a lump sum and then moves in with you she still has to pay 'going rate rent'. We looked into it a while ago - I guess it's to stop people avoiding inheritance tax (if you live for seven years after the gift it is tax free). Although she's not offering you a lump sum:....

You would be paying extra for a property with a granny flat. It seems unfair that the cost should fall on you entirely.

My in-laws live with us in an annex. The house was bought fir this purpose.

When the in-laws sold their house we received a 3rd. They also give is a 3rd of the mortgage each month and pay for their food, any repairs or decorating in the annex.

It's working really well and I fully expect to have to help them at some point but they look after our children and contribute to our lives in lots of ways.

We had a similar situation. In the end, MIL just bought a separate place nearby.

Perhaps that could be an option? Parents won't need to make a contribution and you won't be stuck with a limited pull of properties to choose from + a higher mortgage.

Generally parents contribute a capital sum towards the property purchase. Why do your parents not plan to do this?

Snog, my MIL didn't want to get stuck if she changed her mind or things didn't work out. As it happened, she quickly got bored of London living and moved to the coast. Had she contributed to our property, it could have got tricky.

Blimey JoJo that was fortunate