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Debt relief order. Where to start help

6 replies

WheresAllTheGoodInTheWorld · 15/05/2019 14:08

So I have some debt. Around 5k. All on cards.. I have given up work due to childcare costs. Dp pays everything but can't cover the debts
He also isn't aware of the extent of them as he's sorted them once previously, they're the amount they are because I went though a MH relapse and kinda spent too much in a down moment.. The MH is being addressed.
I have about 400 in my daughters account linked to mine. But my teen has 2k in an account I'm trustee of that his dad pays into..
Would I need to remove that and close the accounts as I can't allow their money to be taken into account and my ds dad (ex) would go nuts..
Then what. Do I go to CAB? Or whoever else.. What's my first steps.

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CatToddlerUprising · 15/05/2019 14:10

The step change website has an assessment tool to go through your best options, then you can call them depending on the outcome. They are great and really supportivr

WheresAllTheGoodInTheWorld · 15/05/2019 14:16

I looked but it said about a partner. I was told they'd use his salary. But he doesn't know about the amount of debt and I know he won't be happy. Its my fault and my problem.

Do I need to take iut the kids money. If so where do I put it..

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BarbaraofSevillle · 16/05/2019 07:54

If the teen's account is 'in trust' does that mean that you or your creditors are not allowed to touch it? It might be worth asking Step Change a hypothetical question about this money. Obviously it is not acceptable to avoid paying debts by saying that money you have actually belongs to your DCs, but if there is a legal arrangement (the trust) this may be different.

You say you spent too much during a time of bad mental health, but what on? Do you have access to money? If you are not working due to being a SAHM, you should still have access to your partner's income (or other household income such as CB, child tax credit, maintenance from DS dad) in order to buy groceries, things for the house or DCs and your own personal spending money.

So yes, if the debts have been run up in paying for things that he has benefitted from, such as bills, groceries, household or DC expenses (is the younger one his?) then yes, his income will be taken into account when solving the debt problem.

But obviously if you have access to sufficient family money and you've overspent on your trinkets of choice, then it's different, but obviously your mental health is relevant as it's well known that this can cause overspending.

If you have no income and really don't want to involve your DP, one solution may be to offer your DCs money as full and final settlements - eg you can offer each creditor about half the money owed and ask for the rest to be written off (but start lower than this if the debts haven't been paid) and then you can aim to repay the money later on, if you can work when you are better/DC are older. But you really need to seek advice before making a big step in order to get the best solution for you.

Sunday10 · 16/05/2019 08:09

Go to Citizens Advice they can talk you through the options and refer you to a DRO intermediary. Your partner does not need to be involved as the DRO is just on your name for your debtsbut you will need to show how your household incomings and expenditure work out -I,e. Why you don’t have enough money to pay off your debts. I don’t think your child’s money is taken into account, as it is money from her father for her alone, but you will need to check this

Sunday10 · 16/05/2019 08:15

sorry, posted too soon -when I said your ‘child’ I meant your teen, who you have said is male. If his money is in trust and paid by his father for his use alone, it is not yours to touch and should not be counted as your money by DRO, but you need to tell them the full details about it to make sure

WheresAllTheGoodInTheWorld · 16/05/2019 19:37

Thank you everyone.
His account wasn't a trust. It was a young saver but linked to my account. We withdrew and closed the account and opened him a teens account to put in.

I closed all my odd savings accounts that had odd pound or pence in. Mounted to a tenner. But easier to keep track of my online bankingn

I did the calculation thing on step change and it asked does your partner know about the debts. I clicjed no. It didnt ask his income.

I have full access to dps accounts. He pays for all bills for house, his car for work and his maintenance for hisv eldest
. The tax credits we received into my account 65 pw paid for food. The maintenance I receive for ds pays for his school travel. And things he needs and my fuel and car insurance.

We tried with one car but dp has 2 jobs so meant I can only use car 1 day a week when he's off. Busses are crap and can't get on with pram.
But cheaper for ds to travel by bus than me do school run in car as tried cutting that back too.

We don't have any extras like Netflix or anything. Mobiles are on 16 pm for me and dp .. Ds dad pays for his phone..
We rarely go out. Dp doesn't spend anything other than maybe 2 a week on a football bet at most..

I can't see any other r way.

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