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Paying for funeral, what would you do?

13 replies

GDJJ · 09/05/2019 20:07

Hello,

My dad passed away ten weeks ago and myself (25yrs) and my half brother (37yrs) of whom I’m not close to) arranged his funeral together (he insisted). We engaged a solicitor as my father left an insurance policy to pay the funeral and to leave to myself and my half brother. However, the policy will take months to pay (probable etc) and the funeral director has called every week saying she’s not waiting for the policy and that we have to come to an arrangement - we are meeting Monday. I was so mad with the insensitive things she’s said and was saying on the phone that I told her straight that I thought her lack of sensitivity and rudeness was disgusting. She was so taken aback and changed her tune (with a hint of rudeness still there) and we are meeting Monday. What would you recommend I do? We are probably going to have to pay Instalments. The final bill is -£900 due to funds from my dads bank account being released towards the bill with the final total being about £2600. Should I try and say about £300 p.m? If she insists on more I simply can’t do it, I’d be left with little to live on for months!

It’s such a dilemma and it’s so stressful I’ll be glad when it’s paid. I’d just have to get the money back from the solicitor. Not to mention the solicitor told us the bill would be around £1000 but then when I spoke to her two days ago she said £2000-£3000 🤔 geez.

OP posts:
GDJJ · 09/05/2019 20:08

Probate*

Money back from the policy I meant and my share towards the funeral bill should be about £1300. My heads in the shed!

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 09/05/2019 21:12

Can either of you put it on a credit card ( maybe 0% interest) and pay back monthly ? Sorry for your loss.

SilverySurfer · 09/05/2019 21:19

Sorry for your loss. Do you have a credit card you could use to pay the funeral company which you could pay back over time? It's not unreasonable of them to want to be paid as they have staff and other expenses to pay. If you work, you expect to be paid at the end of the month, it's really not any different.

imsorryiasked · 09/05/2019 21:42

What did you sign (t&c) when arranging the funeral as this should have specified payment terms?

user1487194234 · 09/05/2019 22:03

This is pretty standard now Funeral directors used to wait but not now
Did they make payment terms clear when you arranged the funeral
Presumably there are other assets given the quote for legal fees

stucknoue · 09/05/2019 22:07

How is it fair for funeral directors to wait months to be paid? They have staff to pay and rent etc - usually it's 30 days from the funeral, they are quite understanding but be reasonable!

Sometimes money is released from the estate early for funerals- obviously you have had the bank balance but check for other assets

DustyDoorframes · 09/05/2019 22:16

For that fee I'd expect the solicitor to be dealing with the funeral bill logistics! What does s/he say?

FurryDogMother · 09/05/2019 22:24

I am so sorry you're having this experience. I'm not sure what advice to offer, but wanted to say that our experience has been the opposite - Dad died just over 2 weeks ago - we went with the Co-op legal services for probate, and the Co-op funeral directors for the funeral. Despite having to pay approximately £900 upfront (various disbursements), the Co-op are perfectly happy for the balance to be paid from the estate once probate is granted and sale of his property achieved. I just thought it was worth posting here in case anyone else finds themselves in a similar situation - there is a way to defer payment and reduce stress at a very difficult time. I guess it comes down to using a large organisation, rather than a small business - they're more able to wait for full payment. I'm very sorry for your loss and the problems you're having.

GDJJ · 10/05/2019 19:21

Thank you for your kind words. “Be reasonable”. It was explained to the funeral director we didn’t have much money to begin with and asked if we could pay in installments if the policy didn’t pay out and she said yes BEFORE the funeral. We did not get an estimated cost, payment plan or things like that etc. I would be happy to pay in installments if the funeral director wasn’t so insensitive and rude to us over the phone and she was rude during the planning of the funeral also but it was too late to change at the point.

We were never given any terms or due dates for payment etc! I don’t have a credit card to cover a fee that big plus the solicitor has told the funeral director that the policy will take months to pay out! So messy.

OP posts:
FadedRed · 10/05/2019 19:35

Sorry if i’ve misunderstood your post, but usually the bank will be able release the money for funeral expenses, provided there is a sufficient balance to cover this cost.
The Funeral Directors should also have sent you an itemised quotation when the funeral was arranged, so you should have been aware how much it was going to cost, to allow you to arrange for the bank to pay the invoice.

Drum2018 · 10/05/2019 19:40

How much money did your dad have in his bank account? If there is enough there then the bank should release payment to the funeral director on presentation of bill and death Cert.

GDJJ · 10/05/2019 19:47

He had £900 :( so that brings it down to £2600 and split between my half brother and me it is £1300 each. No we never received an itemised quotation or anything :(

OP posts:
imsorryiasked · 11/05/2019 09:41

@GDJJ if you weren't provided with a written estimate or payment terms raise a formal complaint with the NAFD here

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