Should I move and rent or stay with mother and save?

[GDJJ]

Tensions are on the rise at home living with my mother as we don’t often get along yet when we do, it’s all very smooth. I’m currently living at home, just started a new job and have a funeral to pay for in installments.

My question is, should I stay at Home for at least another two years to save enough for a house deposit, but argue with my mother all the time. Or should I save up for rent etc and then move out and rent instead?

If I rent, it takes up nearly most of my wage including estimates utility bills etc. Also there are not many houses in very nice areas and id like to be able to decorate my home but with renting decorating is often not allowed or restricted.

But then again I’m 25 and really want to be independent. Any advice?

I would move out and rent

seems awfully harsh to have a funeral bill to pay. Just wondering if there's any way to get out of that, so to speak.

as for decor in rented - tbh I was so busy working to save I didn't really notice decor. It's a bit of a "jam today" there I think.

Thanks Rosawaiting! There is a life Ins policy waiting to pay the funeral director however she is hounding me to pay and will not wait for policy.

I am seriously considering renting even if it’s just to gain independence!

sorry, your mother is hounding you to pay?

renting to gain independence is good IMHO. But it's probably vital if your mother is demanding money from you when an insurance policy will pay out!

No the funeral director is. It’s a messy situation. My mother was divorced from my father when he passed so it is my duty to pay the funeral unfortunately.

Could you rent actually a room rather than a whole place so you can save a bit?

Yes, house share or flat share sounds like a great compromise. Otherwise, i'd be inclined to say stay with your mum and save. If renting will take up all of your wages then you won't be able to save anyway and most people who get on the housing ladder get on in their 20's.

@GDJJ funeral expenses come out if the deceased estate. The executor and solicitor should be dealing with them not you.

I'm so sorry you lost your dad.

The policy should pay out immediately, shouldn't it? The funeral director shouldn't be hounding you - that's appalling.

I would go to a shared house. I wouldn't spend two years of my life arguing with someone.

Sorry for your loss

Can you sort out your differences with your mum before you fall out? Do you fall out over the same things?

You could end up in a house share with people you don’t get on with

I think I’d stay with your mum and save as much as I could as quickly as I could . If you move out and rent you’ll never save a deposit .

I posted on your other thread, for me I would be moving out if you feel it's affecting your mental health (I would struggle living full time with my family so I understand). BUT I would be looking at cheap accommodation so as to still be able to save towards eventually buying - my first choice would be a shared house or a room as a lodger, or otherwise potentially nurses/keyworkers accommodation as in your last thread you said you are a nurse? Yes it's not always plain sailing living with others but it's a massive saving on rent and if you choose wisely (look for people who are also professionals with good jobs who aren't going to be partying all night long) and maintain good boundaries (don't expect to be best friends forever and ensure you have a shared understanding on things like cleaning, having partners to stay over, acceptable noise levels etc!). If you really don't want to share then how about a little studio flat, you don't need too much space if it's just for you?

I wouldn't be worrying too much about decorating, of course you want to have a nice home but providing you pick somewhere that is clean/well maintained and a blank slate you can surely make it pretty/cosy using nice soft furnishings, lighting etc, and your own furniture, you shouldn't need to worry about painting the walls, redoing the kitchen etc?

Thank you all for your suggestions. My mother and I had another huge argument where she told me she wants me out. Followed by a couple hours later saying no actually she wants £140 rent a month and for me to buy food shopping. I agreed but on the terms we can mutually respect each other and Each other’s boundaries (she can’t see she does anything wrong). I’m only staying to save for a house deposit. It’ll take some years (I’m hoping 2 and a half max) but I’ll still be under 30 owning my own house. I’ll just have to put up with living with my mother. Lead my own life with my own decisions. She even said she’s upset because I didn’t tell her I had my first wage and that she knew I had my first wage on 18th but mad I didn’t tell her (why should I have to?) but as I said, I’m only living with her to save money. That and I have a tv in my room, I’m out in work most of the time and can find other things to do with my time to spend less time at home. I’ll set myself a target and stick to it the best I can.

Get a second job, then you won't be home much to argue. Save up