Single parent finances

[Rocket1982]

My H is an arse and I should leave him but I don't see how I can do it financially. I earn what I consider a very decent wage - 50K (take home £3100). However, in my area childcare for DC2 is minimum £1200/month plus wrap around childcare for DC1 at about £250/month. The cheapest 2 bed flat available within striking distance of DC1s school is about £950. Council tax £150, gas and electricity £100, water £30, student loan repayments £290, transport (bus) £70, food and household consumables currently £300 but I guess that would go down a bit. That is already £3,340! How do people do it? I guess one answer is to move area but I have a specialist job and it won't be easy to find a job in a cheaper area. I think H would refuse to leave the family home and I don't anticipate him being cooperative over maintenance etc. at least in the short term and anyway he doesn't earn much. At the moment we manage financially because he looks after the DC part time so childcare costs aren't as much as they would be if I were alone.

How old is DC2? Do you have long before the 30 free hours? Could you look at other options to reduce wraparound care fees?

With high rent and childcare bills you would be able to claim some Universal credit even on such a high wage. However they would only help with rent for 6 months I think as they would expect the maritial home to be on the market if you aren't going to be living in it. Then if you get equity from the sale and it's over 16k your Uc would stop unless the money is being put into another property- I think they give you a while to do this. You also need to factor in child maintenance.

About 1 year until free hours but would we both have to work or is it different if split? I guess I might be able to get wraparound fees down a bit but I also didn't think about holiday clubs and I would need a lot more of those...

We have a lot of equity so I think If I could access that I would be OK but I know H would try to avoid leaving/selling as long as he possibly could. And I guess there might be a lot of legal fees involved in trying to get that to happen aargh

My savings are only 2.5K because of high living costs but I could use that for a deposit on a rental.

Is that 75% council tax as you'd qualify for single persons discount? Surely your H would have the kids for some of the time - especially if he's been doing childcare part time - so would that reduce your childcare costs? Mediation might be the best thing to try in the event of splitting.

A few options that might work:

1. Rent a three bedroom house and get a live in au pair/au pair plus for childcare. It would be way cheaper than nursery and you'd also have someone around in the evenings if you wanted to go out.

1. Find another income source. I work full time but make around £500 per month tax free doing matched betting which I love as a hobby and extra money comes in useful. Have a look at Team Profit or OddsMonkey online.

1. If you split wouldn't you get child maintenance - that should be a few hundred pounds a month extra income?

Thanks FreckledLeopard for the interesting suggestion of getting a bigger place an an au pair. Something I hadn't considered at all and might actually work. I'd feel sad for my son having to give up nursery but with the right au pair hopefully he would still have fun days.

If you work ft and he works PT be VERY careful that he doesn't become seen as primary carer and you have to move out or pay HIM to live in house / spousal maintenance / etc.
In essence, he could be seen as the 'wife' if you earn more and he stays home even a day or so, even if it's something you agreed.
In divorce, all bets are off...