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Original poster

Will writing to protect children’s interests

25 replies

Aspergallus · 22/04/2019 13:22

Had a review with our IFA recently. We’re all set with income protection, life insurance etc. Savings could be healthier, but we are renovating our large family home which is likely to be of considerable value. Reminded me and DH to get some wills written up “just simple mirror wills leaving everything to each other, or the kids if something happens to both of you”....

I’m not sure about this. People in my family die reasonably young (lots of deaths in 50s from various cancers). If I go first, and everything goes to DH, what’s to stop him remarrying and the legacy I think I’m building for my 3DC bypassing them, if wife2 outlived him?

I’ll obviously see a solicitor to have something carefully drawn up, but just curious as to how others have considered or dealt with these issues?

OP posts:

ItsNiceItsDifferentItsUnusual · 22/04/2019 13:23

We currently have mirror wills but plan to change them. I've seen too many threads on here with the situation you're concerned about.

tanpestryfirescreen · 22/04/2019 13:29

So he may end up homeless as you have left your share of the house to your children?

We have been debating this as my DH has cancer and is facing major surgery in the next month. If you have cancer it isn't usually a sudden death and so you would have time to review your wills at the time- depending on the age of the children?

All his pensions- I am named as beneficiary. But you could name your children on the pensions?

There is then life insurance, death in service etc

If he dies I will:
Take the cash not the pensions
Pay off the mortgage
Do some work on my house
Buy each of the children a house
Save the rest - but I am only 50 ish and have a good income myself.

Lungelady · 22/04/2019 13:31

Dh and I both have children from previous marriages. If I die before him, he can remain in the house( which is mine) but not if he remarries or has another partner. In the event of his death, the house goes to my dcs.
My estate and pension will go to my dcs on my death. Nothing to his children.

tanpestryfirescreen · 22/04/2019 13:33

but not if he remarries or has another partner

That sounds harsh. So basically he has to live a celibate life or los this home? Cant move on with his life?

miracleon13th · 22/04/2019 14:00

I had originally written my will so that everything was left to DC for exactly the same reason - In fact I was advised by the company who wrote the will due to the difference in value of mine and DH assets to protect DC in case I died first and he remarried and was outlived by a second wife. I plan on changing mine shortly though so that DH can have my share of the house and then DC will get pensions, insurance and death in service payments as I read that DH could sue my estate anyway and argue I hadn't provided adequate provision for him as my husband x

Original poster

Aspergallus · 22/04/2019 15:09

@tanpestryfirescreen “So he may end up homeless as you have left your share of the house to your children?” Um, no...I haven’t done anything...just trying to think through the what ifs...

We both earn well and have good pensions including lump sum. The house ownership is slightly skewed in my favour as I had the deposit. The life insurance is significant, will greatly exceed the remaining mortgage.

I was thinking that I could leave my share of the house directly to the children, but confused as to how that would work if there was another marriage and it became a marital home/asset.

There’s obviously loads of other things like pensions, death in service benefits etc...but if I’m honest I’d want almost everything to go to the DCs...not because I don’t love or care about DH but because we both earn well and have good pensions -neither of us would find ourselves financially destitute without the other. While the future economic situation for our children is more uncertain with the real value of wages diminishing against the cost of living, home ownership becoming more difficult etc.

OP posts:

Original poster

Aspergallus · 22/04/2019 15:15

@Lungelady that sounds sensible. @tanpestryfirescreen why harsh? Presumably he could sell up, divide the assets as appropriate and set up a new home with new partner. Why should a new partner get to set up home in and take over the asset the OP has created?

OP posts:

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 22/04/2019 15:20

If you have a mortgage where you are joint tenants rather than tenants in common, if one of you dies the other is automatically owner of the whole house. Iirc you cannot leave your half to the children or anyone else. Obviously if you already own your home outright then you can do what you like with your share.

Lungelady · 22/04/2019 15:25

aspergallus yes. We are 60 so hopefully not going to snuff it just yet. But who knows?

tanpestryfirescreen · 22/04/2019 15:30

@Lungelady that sounds sensible. @tanpestryfirescreen why harsh? Presumably he could sell up, divide the assets as appropriate and set up a new home with new partner.

Hard to get a mortgage over 55 as pension income isn't fixed at that point. Typically has to be paid by 70.

Selling 1 house to buy 2 may work in some areas but not in many. Depends on house values.

I would want my DH to have a great life if I was to die tomorrow.

Longislandicetee · 22/04/2019 15:33

Dh and i have mirror wills, but they involve a trust being set up on each of our deaths.

On my death, everything that I own, except for personal items will go into a Trust, the beneficiaries of which will be the dcs. The Trustees are dh and my dsis and they have to agree on how the money/assets are spent. (Dh's will, the Trustees of his Trust are me and his db)

We changed the ownership of our our house so that it is owned as tenants in common (mortgage is not relevant). So the 50% ownership of the house goes into the trust.

The pensions directly go to dh/me.

Involved some very honest conversations before, during after solicitor appointments!

Bazzill · 22/04/2019 15:35

Put the house as tenants in common, rather than joint tenants, and with a lifetime interest. So if you die first your share of the house belongs to your children but the lifetime interest bit means they can't kick your DH out on the streets. It also means your share can't be taken into account if you died then your DH went into a care home.

Soontobe60 · 22/04/2019 15:40

OP, imagine dying tomorrow. I assume your dcs are little children. If your will left everything to them, someone would have to oversee that for them. Presumeably your DH?
Your life insurance would pay off your mortgage and one would assume the house then belongs to DH. You could then have the remaining money placed in trust for your children until they were 18. Your pension can either go to your DH or your children. If it goes to your dh he will get that until he marries or dies. For your children, they only get it until they leave full time education.

miracleon13th · 22/04/2019 15:47

Just for clarity which I learnt on another MN post once you are married tenancy in common mortgages no longer become relevant - it all goes in the pot apparently x

Longislandicetee · 22/04/2019 15:52

miracleon13th dh and i are married and we only did our wills a couple of years ago (a very long time after we married). We took very specific legal advise on what we set up, and they did the paperwork for us on the tenants in common bit as well.

HollowTalk · 22/04/2019 15:54

I'm shocked that your financial adviser told you what to put in your Wills!

miracleon13th · 22/04/2019 16:08

Ah @Blingygolightly yes sorry! It's in the event of a divorce tenancy in common goes out the window! 🤦‍♀️x

OddBoots · 22/04/2019 16:12

If you have very good life insurance wouldn't it be easier to specify that a particular policy for each of you goes in trust for or to the children but leave the house to be to for the other?

Longislandicetee · 22/04/2019 16:15

Ah i didn't know that bit @miracleon13th! I learn something new everyday on here!

Peakypolly · 22/04/2019 16:27

Our specialist will advisor set up a ‘totty’ Clause ( the name she gave it!) such that should the surviving spouse begin a new relationship, the half of the deceased spouse passes to the children of our marriage and will not be accessible to a new partner and/or any DC from that union or DC that the new partner already has.
Seemed logical and easy to arrange.

Nat6999 · 22/04/2019 16:27

I'm just looking in to making a will, I haven't much to leave at the moment but when my mum dies I will have a half share in her home & assets, I want to leave everything to DS but protect it so his dad can't get his hands on any of it as I know he will do anything he can to get hold of money.

Lungelady · 22/04/2019 16:36

totty clause

Original poster

Aspergallus · 22/04/2019 18:31

It’s all so much to think about.

I have a feeling this is going to take some difficult conversations and several appointments, unless there is a common clause in use that answers these concerns (I’m in Scotland).

The sale of our family home (mortgage to be paid soon-ish) would fund the purchase of two decent-sized homes. That’s one thing that makes me think it might be reasonable, if it is possible, to leave my share to the children while stipulating that DH should remain in it as long as he wishes but sell up and start a new home if wishing to live with another partner. I wouldn’t want my children to live with any uncertainty as to what is happening to their inheritance. But actually I really don’t know what’s best as forcing the sale of the family home might make everyone, kids and DH unhappy...

tanpestryfirescreen I would also want my husband to have a great life, but not at the expense of my children and we all know how love can be very, very blind. Widowed men are astonishingly quick to remarry (compared to women).

OP posts:

Flyingaddict · 22/04/2019 19:45

Just out of curiosity, are they his children as well as you seem to only ref to them as your/my children.
I know of someone who died recently who was on their second marriage and everything went to the husband and nothing at all to her children. I would do everything to protect my children’s inheritance.

Original poster

Aspergallus · 22/04/2019 20:33

Flyingaddict They are our children. I do have a tendency to say my. DH always corrects me on this, quite rightly. No idea why I default to my -he’s totally involved, hands on, a great dad...

Thinking about it a bit more I think the most sensible thing would be to draw up an agreement on how life insurance should be used in the event of either of us dying e.g. 1) pay off mortgage 2) sum to remaining spouse to allow lifestyle changes e.g. going part-time 3) sum in trust for each child to receive at 25? The size of our policy would allow fairly large sums...so then both of us would know the DC would be secure from that point rather than it largely being dependent on what the surviving spouse does in terms of the house etc.

OP posts:

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