Owed Money by Ex

[Skandiminsk]

When I was in a relationship I took out a loan for £21K to cover both mine/partners debts. Partner couldn't get credit. He had a good job self employed as plumber/gas engineer. However, he didn't repay me much back to to lack of work & then went employed, then self employed. He is shit with money & has addictions, borrowed money off other people & they have put the screws on to be repayed. I kicked him out yonks ago but I still want him to repay his half of the loan but we don't have an agreement written up. WHAT CAN I DO?

Not much as far as I am aware.
Others might have some suggestions.

Nothing.

What proof do you have that he agreed to pay half? Sadly it isn't enough that you paid off his debts. If he's been paying you X amount for the loan each week/month and you have texts or emails where he agrees to pay half, you may have a chance of convincing a court that there was an agreement.

Otherwise you have basically none. Generally it is not considered that partners/family members intended to create legally binding contracts around financial issues, and without proof to the contrary, he's likely to argue that he did not.

You can still try things like a letter before action to encourage him to pay, but if he's clued up or he Google's it, he's likely to find out that you're basically relying on his good word to pay you any back unless you've got evidence that he agreed to do so.

I was lucky in the sense I have hundreds of texts message from my ex with him admitting to having the money and will be paying me back.
But a Solicitor told me it is unlikely that I would get it back as legally it is all in my name. She said a court would see his messages and settle in my favour so I am very lucky I had that proof, but she told me that is no guarantee it will ever be repaid.

Thats when I chose to cut my losses. As it would of cost me to take him to court and then it could be agreed at the rate of £1 a week etc. His debt was well over 20k too and I am still repaying it now and have another 2 years. I am a single mom to his child who he refuses to see or pay towards to make everything that bit harder.

Unless you have proof he has ever agreed to repay you then there is nothing you can do if its legally in your name

Nothing. He isn’t liable for your debts unfortunately.

If you had had an agreement drawn up, it would have been for him to repay you a sum equalling half, not for him to assume liability for half the debt.

Sadly this is one of those where you will have to chalk it up to experience.

I do have some messages from him confirming that I will get paid but not a lot. He pays the people that put the thumb screws on. I'm just absolutely gutted. My credit card debt is going up & up which I take responsibility for but if he paid me what he owed, I wouldn't be in this mess! But thank you all for responding x

Unfortunately many of us do these things @Skandiminsk so please try not to be so hard on yourself.

It's hard but you can pull it back. I struggle so bad each month but the debt is slowly coming down. Unfortunately not as fast as it should as I am needing to use my credit card to get by but it is going down. Which is the direction it should be.
I was mortified that I had allowed it to happen to me but I promise you, you won't make the same mistake twice xx

Thank you NGC2017, I've got a year to go. I keep looking at my finances to see where I can be more careful but the debt on my cards are racking up. Just had friends from overseas staying with us, all that went on the card. My sons 21st next month, my daughters 18th later in the year, a wedding where we need to stay over as it's so far away, car tax now, car insurance in 3mths..but yes, I definitely won't let it happen to me again.
At least all the other bad stuff that he used to do has stopped & he's got the message that I don't want anything to do with him anymore.
As tough as this lesson is, I believe in Karma, and things will one day be ok for me and he will have a terrible life!

@Skandiminsk and that's the thing isn't it. You have to cut your losses sometimes.

Personally I may have been left with all the ex's debts but I got me and my son away from all the heartache and abuse and the uncertainty that our life was. Yes its hard now as I am always having to find money for something (and it's never cheap) but our life is much happier now and full of love.
I still have 2 and a half years of repayments but I am half way there lol. I just wish life wasn't so expensive. I also don't feel like I should deprive myself or my son of the odd treat or day out.

We will both get there

Yes we will. I have a year to go on our joint loan plus a year on a loan I took out to get another car as mine was a right off. It's the credit card debt that I need to get a handle on now

But I am happier, and my daughter & I book the odd thing so we have something to look forward to. It's just hard juggling all the financials sometimes 🙂 xx

Can you be the one with the thumbscrews? Make a nuisance of yourself until he pays you back.

I went to see him yesterday which took a lot of courage. He maintains that he will be able to pay me (amongst) others shortly as he's waiting for details of a project that he'll be working on, so there is hope. When that will be, he couldn't give an affirmative date. How much he'll give me Idk. So we shall see 🤔

Do you have mutual friends who can help keep the pressure up on him to pay? Or a big brother who can politely remind him what he owes?

You can put in a small Court claims case yourself online. For that amount I think the fee would be about £500 not sure if that can also be claimed?

No there's no-one to keep the pressure on unless I employ thugs (and I'm not doing that)!

Sadly tho, don't have £500 spare at the moment. I can't even save with running a household, my daughter, car and the very few events we have coming up. It's been like this for 4yrs & I have one more year to go before I can breathe & save again. It's a horrible position to be in at any age, but more so when you're in your 40's. But, one thing I am going to do, is change to a water meter. I've spoken to lots of people and now that there is only me & my daughter, it's worth doing. It wasn't before, when there was 4/5 living in the house. Things will get better slowly 🙂