Is Bankruptcy REALLY a fresh start? .... I'm so stressed!!!

[Darlingheart]

Hey Everyone,

Long story short,
I'm a single mother of 2 children (split just over 2 years with cheating Ex)

My ex was terrible with money, had poor credit but decided to start his own business (everything in my name as I trusted him of course).

The business didn't work out, just after that due to cheating, the relationship ended and he left me with HIS £17k business debt, plus our £3k joint debt, since then I've been struggling & my debt is now at £24k! I've been to a solicitor unsuccessfully to have him take his business debt back. (Long story but I'm stuck with it).

I'm currently on a DMP with StepChange, it'll take 17 years to pay! I've looked into an IVA but I may as well go bankrupt if I'm consider that!

To those of you that have been bankrupt was it for the best? Does it really free you of the stress, worry, entrapment and building depression?

I'd never consider it under different circumstances, but to be made to spend my life paying for my Ex's debt whilst bring up his children (with no financial support from him might I add) just seems unbearable and impossible.

Thank you

It can be, in the right circumstances. I think it is for people who have realised why they are in debt and make sure they are never in debt again afterwards. For people who just want to wipe the slate and carry on as before, it's disastrous. They will be right back where they started within a few years.

I can’t really help as such but have you looked into a debt relief order? Similar to bankruptcy but only £90 instead of £700, you have to meet certain criteria but maybe an option?

If you don't own property, and have little spare income, bankruptcy is likely to be the right solution. What have Stepchange said about it, when they were setting you up with a 17 year DMP?

An IVA would probably be best if you do own property, or if being bankrupt would exclude you from employment. There is also the slight advantage that you will never have to admit to being bankrupt, which they can always ask you, but I'm not sure if being bankrupt 10/20/30 years ago will be a huge problem. Many lenders will still lend to you - eg if you want to buy a property in future.

A DMP of 17 years is rarely a good idea, unless you can significantly shorten that, eg if your income will rise, and/or childcare costs decrease in a couple of years .

For a DRO, you need debts below £20k I believe, although check this.

I wouldn't worry so much about lower fees, practically it just means the creditors get less money back.

A DRO covers debts of up to £20,000 only and there are very tight rules in regards to who can obtain one.

If I was in your position I would go back to Stepchange and ask them. It does seem odd that they have put you on a 17 DMP. I wen to CAP (Christians Against Poverty) last year when dh became ill. CAP work the same way Stepchange do and they told me that they rarely consider a DMP which lasts longer than five years.

Is your income expected to remain stable? Do you own any property or other assets.

(BTW, we did do through bankruptcy last year)

Thank you for your replies ... Yes a DRO is out of the question as that's £20k or under.
They were very casual about the 17 year DMP! I suppose at the time all I could see was help so didn't question it, but now I think it's crazy!!
I do not own a property and I have very little disposable income ... I have a car worth more that £1000 so I know that will taken from me.
I'm currently about to start a new business, it's very small but it's a start! I just need to get this debt under control properly as I feel myself drowning with the stress of it!

"I have a car worth more that £1000 so I know that will taken from me." Not necessarily, it depends on the OR and your circumstances.

If a car is necessary for work or other reasons such as a disabled family member, I don't think they will take your car away.

I went bankrupt 6.5 years ago. I have Completely changed my spending habits and have managed to stay out of debt and save a little emergency fund. It was the right choice for me. I don’t own my own home But have just been advised it is possible to get a mortgage as long as it’s over 10 years from the bankruptcy, if that is a consideration. I will say that it was one of the most stressful things I’ve ever done. Also, you need to set up a basic bank account before hand, mine is Barclays. Also you aren’t allowed to have online banking for a year afterwards. It certainly saved my bacon but it was very hard. Maybe go to the CAB and get some advice and good luck with everything xx

It can adversely affect employment in regulated industries, insurance and lots of day to day things like having bank cards, phone contracts etc. I'd consider it as an absolute last resort only.

Would it affect your new business?

Why are you paying HIS business debt?

It's in the opening post, her cheating ex set up the business in her name, therefore the debts are in her name.

I think that you need to get more debt advice. If you could prove that he was financially abusive I think that it will make a difference.