Too poor for kids?

[Lu234]

Bit of a back story;
A woman at work was moaning that having a child has pushed her money to the edge. Shes on around £35k pa, works 3 days a week so I'd guess still in the high £20k pa bracket. Her husband also is in a good job and can imagine hes on the same or higher wage.

Before her baby she always used to say she didn't know if she could afford kids and not directly but she basically told me I would never be able to have children because of my very low wage of about £14k a year working 30hrs a week.

Between myself and my partner, we earn around £22k a year.

Now, I've never been 100% sold on the idea of kids but since this woman's input I'm pretty sure I wont be bringing any into the world as I'd be beyond skint and the child would suffer because of it.

Opinions please?

Do you own sums - don't rely on this woman's. Only you know what your outgoings are and how much you need to earn to afford the standard of living that will work for you. Don't forget to factor in childcare (which is expensive in this country, but varies depending a bit on where you are - so do some research on the price of local nurseries and childminders), sick days (there will be a lot of these in the first 5 years), etc. You may want to spend a year or two building up your savings to cover any shortfalls or to give you a cushion.

It all depends on variables like rent/mortgage, childcare costs (or not), living standard expectations but I’d say she’s talking crap.
We have two kids and have just finished paying nursery fees, own our own home and have a joint income of 56k and live very very comfortably.

We are a single-income household, slightly over the threshold for any kind of help on the benefits front (no UC or tax credits etc), but we do get child benefit same as everybody else. DH earns £32k before tax and we are expecting DC3 later this year.
You have to figure out where you can cut back - for example we realised that we really didn’t need to be paying to keep two cars on the road when only one of us was working. Instead, DH invested in a decent bike so he can still get to work if I need the car etc.
It also made no financial sense for me to go back to work after the first DC because the cost of childcare to cover my hours more than I’d be earning, so I’m now a SAHM until all 3 DCs are in school.

People manage on a lot less than us too!

As others say it's personal depending on your own sums and expectations. I couldn't live the lifestyle I'd want on that salary so I wouldn't have children on that, but that said depending on your outgoings I'm sure you'd manage to keep children clothed and fed etc. Depends what it is you want overall. You'd get financial assistance with childcare on that amount.

Lots of variables - your current outgoings and whether there are compromises you can make to reduce these, what childcare options you might have, what benefits if any may apply by the time you have a child. If your colleague has a large rent/mortgage, council tax and utilities to match, commutes, runs 2 cars, pays for childcare, socialises regularly, takes holidays or travels to visit family, even a decent salary can quickly evaporate.

I found the early years ok to manage on our modest income, but my goodness, once they are teenagers, they cost so much. We are really struggling now and it's affecting everything. It's very worrying and stressful. If you're not fussed about having children, definitely don't. The planet doesn't need more people anyway.

You always find a way to manage.

I had children young, before I even really knew about living in the adult world of bills etc but we muddled through. We may not have been able to give them much materially but they had good childhoods.

It’s always good to have more income and some savings but life can only be planned to a point.

but since this woman's input I'm pretty sure I wont be bringing any into the world as I'd be beyond skint

I hope you aren’t really going to base the entire decision around having a family around some comments from one girl at work ?!

Do some calculations and make a plan; find out what you’re entitled to, how long your maternity leave is, what childcare is available to you etc etc. Then decide.

Is she a teacher and you’re a TA?

If you're not 100% sold on the idea of having a child then honestly, I wouldn't do it whatever your income. It's very hard going even when you know it's what you want.

People "afford" children on all sorts of incomes. I hate the notion that kids are a luxury to only be begat if you are "privileged" enough.

Have the kids, you'll middle through the chaos (life and financial!) just like the rest of us do.

*muddle

Have the kids, you'll middle through the chaos (life and financial!) just like the rest of us do

This
You just prioritise what’s important. Our DCs are clothes, fed, have plenty of toys, and very rarely go without anything that they want (within reason!) - but in order to do that, we drive a basic car, we don’t go on holidays and we don’t have expensive hobbies etc.

Well yes you do need to be able to provide for a child and yes it is irresponsible to have dc without thinking how you are going to keep them in clothing, food and provide them with a home. It’s not a notion that only rich can have them as a luxury, thinking about it rather than just getting pregnant is responsible and mature.

You have to do your OWN sums, look in to childcare costs etc and decide. Don’t base any decision like this on what the girl from work said

It’s good that you are considering the financial implementation beforehand and don’t agree that you should have kids and muddle through. You say you have a joint increase of £22k and £14 of that is yours. So your partner earns £8 k. Can they increase their earnings?
How do you manage financially at the moment?

And it’s not the case that only rich should have kids, but people should Give more consideration on how they can afford them.
I would have loved more but stopped at one because that’s all I could afford.

Do your own calculation on your Bill's etc..
Child care to factor in etc.
I've got a 20 year old love him to bits but children aren't the be all & end all.

With no family nearby, we've had to seriously consider whether childcare was doable.

As it is £950 a month, we genuinely can only afford one. DH's mum keeps saying 'it's not fair to only have one' and 'you'll find a way' but that isn't a currency that pays for things. Doesn't help that £950 is including tax free childcare, which I don't think is per child, so we would be liable for the full cost of childcare at £1150 on a second.

It's not like we have car payments or debts either, childcare is just horrendously expensive.

You can claim tax free childcare for more than one child, I'm just about to do it with our second!

Kids cost as much as you let them. There's very few must haves, nearly everything is want not need. The main issue is housing and that dramatically changes around the country - my friends 3 bed detached house was £96k up north whereas another friend has just paid £450k for a one bed flat in London zone 3! Many families find that one parent works at the weekend, one during the week until they reach school age to eliminate childcare costs

We only have one DC and part of the reason for this was Finance (child care). However I would never be without the DC we have.

As other posters have said, you need to look at your own situation, what you can change, what you can't. E.G. If your outgoings include high rent because of the area you live in then you have little choice on that matter unless you move.

What jobs do you do? As PP above has said, many parents work opposite shifts / weekends so that child care is covered. Find out what benefits and support you are entitled to, e.g. If one of you had to give up work to look after your child in the early days, is this a possibility ( would depend on how easy it is to get jobs where you are)

I definitely wouldn't rule it out based on what your colleague said; I would think that she would have higher outgoings because if her higher salary e.g. Was she full time and dropped to 3 days? Sometimes if people are used to spending on luxury items they struggle when they no longer can, whereas other people have never spent this in the first place, so it's all relative.