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Original poster

Money to pay but haven't got enough :-((

16 replies

Avalaura · 04/04/2019 07:28

With the easter holidays coming my eldest daughter is meant to be going away with cousins but I can't afford the spending money. I could give it to her but I'll end upwith no money. And then theres my mothers birthday which my sister has ordered a cake for without telling me and decorations so they have asked for 15 for that. And i need to buy her a present before thursday but I'm only going to have 50 on tuesday and only have 39 pound today
😔😔😕😔😔

OP posts:
Original poster
Avalaura · 04/04/2019 07:29

And I my electricity needs to be paid and whatever else decides to get paid

OP posts:
Original poster
Avalaura · 04/04/2019 07:31

Feel like crying

OP posts:
nzeire · 04/04/2019 07:33

Tough times :(
Can your sis help out? Leave you off the hook for cake until things are easier

tickingthebox · 04/04/2019 07:33

for starters forget about the cake, and if your sister makes a fuss you tell her its a choice between having electricity and a cake... because she didn't even ask and you would have said no if she had!

junebirthdaygirl · 04/04/2019 07:34

Could you tell your dm her birthday present is coming later . Unless she is a diva she should understand that.
Although why you have to pay 15 for a cake beats me. Can you say l really can't afford that if your diss has plenty of money to splash around.

Does dd have a dad who could give her some money?
Is she old enough to do some babysitting before Easter to earn some herself?
You can't give what you don't have.

NotMyUsualTopBilling · 04/04/2019 07:37

Speak to your Mum and your sister, they're adults and care about you so I very much doubt they'd expect you to go skint for the sake of a gift/cake that isn't necessary.

Maybe arrange something for later instead? Cook a meal for the 3 of you and have a night in when you have cash.

How old is your DD, could she contribute to her own spending from savings or something even just temporarily? Who booked the holiday, might. be worth explaining that you don't have as much as you thought you'd have so work out the basics to make it cheaper if possible.

Hwory · 04/04/2019 07:38

Holiday - why did you agree to the holiday without saving up the spending money?

Sister - tell her that you didn’t agree to paying for a cake and decorations which isn’t in your budget so you are unable to contribute.

Mothers birthday - buy your mother a small cheap token present. She’s an adult I’m sure she’ll understand and not want to skint her daughter for a present.

Is there a reason you’re so skint right now (unexpected bill?) or is this an ongoing problem?

ApolloandDaphne · 04/04/2019 07:50

Surely you need to be speaking to your DS and your DM to explain the situation? Will they be covering the cost of any activities when they are away or are you expected to give your DD money for these? If you aren't going to be there then I don't think your DS can expect you to pay for cake costs especially if you weren't asked before it was ordered. Just give your DM as card and explain you can't afford a gift right now. If she is a nice mother she will understand.

Original poster
Avalaura · 04/04/2019 07:59

Thank you, yeah I'll ask them if I can pay at a later date. And ask my mum if she can have a gift later too I'm sure she'll be say its ok she knows I struggle. She's been helping me so much so I'm devastated that I can't give her present on the actual day
Unexpected bills always. They just take it out on the day they want not any specific day it's always different.

OP posts:
LovingLola · 04/04/2019 08:05

Does your bank have an app?
Mine does and I use it every day. It’s got a great feature where I can see pending outward payments - so all utilities, mortgage, insurance etc are showing up to 5 days before they are debited from my account.
It’s very useful and helps with planning.

BarbaraofSevillle · 04/04/2019 08:42

What are the unexpected bills? Often these are something that will happen sooner or later, so you need to plan for them - such as vets, broken appliances, car repairs, insurance etc.

If you don't have enough money for these, you need to increase your income and/or cut your bills and spending elsewhere.

But don't be spending money on presents and cakes if you are going short of basics.

Have you done a full budget and review of your expenses to see if you have enough money to cover the basics, and if you can cut any of these costs to free up more money for spending?

www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/money-help/

MNHQ
LilyMumsnet · 04/04/2019 09:25

Hello everyone

We've had a number of reports from people concerned about this thread so, as we usually do in these circs, we're putting our heads round the door with some important reminders.

The truth is that, sadly, we at MNHQ can't know with 100% certainty that any poster is genuine, no matter who they are or how long they have been here. As frustrating as it is, we're not able to vouch for anyone here.

We strongly advise against parting with any cash or giving away your personal details, and if you receive a PM which makes you uneasy - report it to us and we’ll take a look.

Sorry to hijack your thread briefly there, OP – we really hope you get it all sorted soon.

Lostmymarbles1985 · 04/04/2019 09:35

If you can speak to your utility company's they will usually fix the date and some will let you pay a fixed amount which averages out over the year. We have just finished an IVA here to clear our debts and have really struggled with unexpected costs while that has been running. I have two current accounts. One is purely for bills . I write a list every month of what bills and there are plus any extras ie if the kids need a haircut or of there is an extra activity everything. I also leave in a little buffer if I can afford it just in case I miss anything or anything else crops up. That goes in the bills account so I know they are all paid.
Whatever is left I work out what we need for food fuel etc if we have any birthdays that month. Try and put away bits for the car and Christmas. I check the bank every day and constantly look for ways of fixing and reducing Bill's wherever possible.
I meal plan and shop to a strict list and do all my shopping online so as not to be tempted by bargains.
Not much help finding money now I know but hope it's useful going forward.

Original poster
Avalaura · 04/04/2019 11:19

Lovinglola, thanks for the tip about the app! I can see what it going to be paid and when! It's awesome I will have enough to get me through next week. And I have spoken to my family they understand and are fine with it. Thats a load of weight off my shoulders
Thanks so much!

OP posts:
LovingLola · 04/04/2019 11:48

Delighted Smile

Original poster
Avalaura · 06/04/2019 21:08

My family were ok with but should have seen the look on my mums face when I told her she won't get a present til later. I feel very judged 😔

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