Granny annexe for Elderly DM

[potofdreams1]

ully realise this is fraught with various problems and pitfalls but would appreciate thoughts/advice.

Elderly DM is 75 and really declining mentally and physically. She lives a good 30 minutes away and as I work can only get across to her about twice a week. A few emergencies have really emphasised how far away she lives. She lives in a bungalow but is finding it very difficult to manage.

I live in an average sized house but am lucky enough to have a huge garden.

DM has suggested selling her place and we build some sort of granny annexe for her in our garden.
This seems like a good idea on many levels - closer to us, able to support and can keep an eye on her. Take away worry of maintaining her house.

However, I have DB who whilst living 3 hours away and therefore not able to help out, obviously still needs to part of any agreement. He agrees we need to consider options but isn't keen on having her live with/near him. Also DM's life is here.

DM's total assets including the house are well below IHT threshold but I still need to be aware of
other implications and while I can't afford to shoulder all costs, the last thing I want is to be seen as profiting from her.

One suggestion (hers) was selling her house and proceeds:
One third to me
One third to DB
One third retained by DM.

So from my part I would build annexe. I also take on any care she needs; although if more is needed she still has some capital left to pay for it with.

Can you throw all reservations/points at me please!

Also posted in property

I did it. Its effectively a bungalow in my garden. A word of warning, from getting the plans drawn up to the build being finished took 2 years, and we had a fantastic building firm who didn't mess about. The actual build took 6 months. The interior (we had a plastered finish throughout with heating installed and the bathroom tiled and installed) took another 2 months.

We had an electric boiler so no gas feed required.

It's a beautiful space, and we're thrilled with it. Sadly my dm died during the build so never got to live in it. but I'm sure she'd have been very happy there.

Be aware of 'deprivation of assets' if she gives away her money now, and needs care in the future. The Local Authority could claim that a future need could have been anticipated at this point.

The danger that I would see is that you use a chunk of her assets to build the granny annex, but after five years she needs full time care. Once her remaining assets have been used, the LA could come to you for the money back that was used for the extension. There is no time limit on this reclaim.

It's a big thing to do for you and your family. We did similar for DM at a similar age, and for a number of years the family revolved (happily) around her. It was successful because my DM was considerate and very careful not to impose, and we all loved her dearly. I can imagine it would be more difficult with a 'challenging' character.

I can relate and watch with interest as I think this wi be mein a few years with my mum. Can't help with the annex question but if you have had some wmergencies have you got a personal alarm for your mum?they can summon help for her if you were unable to attend quickly. You can still be the First point of contact. This could reassure you until she moves closer at least.

Or have a look for extra care housing near you where your DM will be able to have people to help her when you are not around. Look for Anchor or Hanover (big providers) and the advice pages on Age UK or Independent Age.

An annexe sounds ideal but it will take some time to organise and if your DM is ‘really declining’, you may need some sort of interim arrangement. Plus Ajandjjmum is right about deprivation of assets. Again, Age UK has useful advice online or in advice centres about this. Some solicitors have partners specialising in this sort of advice too.

Hope you and your DH find a suitable solution.