My son owes my nephew hundreds of pounds

[Christine56]

I have just found out that my adult son owes my adult nephew hundreds of pounds and is being very slack in not paying it back. Should I have words with my son ?

How have you found out? Idle gossip from someone or has your nephew approached you?

If the former I would have told whoever it was to keep their nose out of their business. If the latter I would have told my nephew to speak to my son.

They are both adults and need to learn the consequences when they borrow or lend money they can't afford to pay back / lose.

Thanks Brokenwing. Your last sentence is what was at the back of my mind really. It was my eldest son that told me all about it.

THey are adults
leave them to it

Yeah, I'm not going to get involved.

How old is he? Could he repay it if he wanted to? I'd be very unhappy about this - I'd feel my nephew had been taken advantage of.

Well I would have no hesitation in sharing my thoughts about the situation whether it was my DS, DD or DP.
How old is 'adult' in this situation?

I think I'd be telling my son that l know and am very ashamed of him not paying his debts.

I'd speak to your son and tell him how disappointed you are that he's done this to his cousin.

Could he be in trouble and hasn't dared tell you? My ds went down the payday loan route. Much worse ime..

You can’t not know. Perfectly reasonable to ask your son if there is more too it and whether he needs any non monetary help.

Can your nephew stand the loss? If he has made a mistake by trusting my son and was struggling as a result I’d be checking out if he wanted me to get involved too.

They may be adults but sometimes adults need help too.

I’d be having a few words to try to find out what’s going on.
Could he have approached you? Why does he need money? Could you help him in some way?
Why can’t he pay him back?