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Original poster

Sharing a house, separated, benefits

20 replies

KismetJayn · 10/03/2019 00:16

This is a mess and I have no idea what to do.

My DP and I are separating but I am starting uni. I need to reside on campus (Oxbridge conditions.) So the plan was me to live in halls for termtime, at home for the rest of the year (works out roughly 50/50).

We're now separating. Our lease doesn't end til end of 2020. We would be living him in the house termtime with DD, me in the house holidays. So we wouldn't be living together at any point but sharing the house 50/50.

Does anyone know how this would work benefits etc wise? Would we be a couple as we'd both be on the lease and need to contribute to rent, or would we be single as we wouldn't live together or even stay in the same house overnight at all?

OP posts:
IWantMyHatBack · 10/03/2019 00:38

Do you have children?

Babyroobs · 10/03/2019 01:12

It would be messy..If you are getting a student loan and have no kids living with you term time then you aren't going to be entitled to any benefits. I assume that when you move back in the holidays you would maybe get some UC to help with your child and rent but as UC is paid a month in arrears its going to be tricky.

Original poster
KismetJayn · 10/03/2019 08:00

Yes, and the following year when the lease is up DD would be moving with me to uni, which at least means I can get her on the list for a school place.

Seriously, my student loan doesn't cover anything if she's not with me termtime, even though I'd be her primary caregiver most of the year? (Weekends, and school hols, plus a couple of weeks school pickup & dropoff as uni terms start later)

I don't know what to do, then- we can't afford the break clause, so can't get out early, and DP can't afford the rent alone.

OP posts:
OxanaVorontsova · 10/03/2019 08:07

What was your plan if you weren't separating?

Original poster
KismetJayn · 10/03/2019 08:17

I was advised by CAB that as we were a couple, we could continue with benefits as a couple in addition to student loan etc. But I'm wondering if they were mistaken or UC has since changed (we're still on legacy benefits).

It would mean DD could stay in the same house, same school, etc. But if they were wrong about that frankly I don't know what we would do anyway.

It would be easier to break the lease and move as a family, though.

OP posts:
Todaythiscouldbe · 10/03/2019 08:22

Why would you break the lease and move as a family if you're separating? I'm really confused. If you're separating will custody arrangements be term time/holidays?

Original poster
KismetJayn · 10/03/2019 08:26

Oxana asked what we would have done if we weren't separating.

The first year, I will have holidays & most weekends. Following that, DD will move up with me as I can afford parent & child accommodation when not paying for the house here, and DP doesn't want primary care, so we will revert to typical EOW.

OP posts:
OxanaVorontsova · 10/03/2019 08:31

But that only explains custody, not how you'd manage financially. How were you intending to fund your degree if not separated?

Original poster
KismetJayn · 10/03/2019 08:41

Oxana I answered that in my 8:17 post; I was told by CAB we could stay on our current benefits, that plus student loan & maintenance loan, and student parent grants, and bursary- would more than pay for it.

OP posts:
OxanaVorontsova · 10/03/2019 09:08

So why can't that still be the plan, if you are effectively still living together? How old is DD?

Original poster
KismetJayn · 10/03/2019 09:20

That's what I was originally asking- if this could still be the case when we never actually spend any time together!

She is almost 4.

OP posts:
Todaythiscouldbe · 10/03/2019 10:49

Where will your partner be when you're living back 'home?

Original poster
KismetJayn · 10/03/2019 13:20

He would be at his mum's house, which he will move back to after the lease ends.

OP posts:
Jade02 · 11/03/2019 14:20

I really don't know what to do really need some help and/or advice please.
Myself and my ex partner have been in and out of a relationship for many years. He has lived with me a times and i have always notified HMRC when he has lived with me along with when he has moved out. So therefore had single claims and joint claims from 2014 upto now. However it have been at least 2 years if not more that he has not lived with me we have been in and out of a relationship also having a baby in 2017 but still not been living together. Although we have not been living together he has not changed his address on his driving licence, bank etc and therefore i have now had my money stopped by HMRC (single claim) as they believe due to him having legal documents linked to my address that he still lives with me which he doesnt.
I really don't know what to do i will be loosing £100 a week due to him not changing his address.
What can i do please i feel i have tried everything. Below is what i have already tried

  1. Called and sent evidence to prove his is no longer living with me to HMRC
  2. Spoken to DVLA apparently there is nothing i can do it is down to him to change his address
  3. Spoken to the police - same answer as above
  4. Spoken to the bank he banks with, they told me they put a stop on his letters being sent to my address however i still receive them
  5. Write 'Return to sender' 'does not live at this address' on the letters sent to mine addressed to him or his company - still receiving them

Honestly any help at all would be much appreciated, im lost and now after getting my money sorted feel i am going to spiral back into debt again. 😩

Thanks in-advance for any help or advice and sorry for the long winded explanation x

Original poster
KismetJayn · 11/03/2019 15:00

@Jade02 you really need to post your own thread- you've posted your question on mine and probably won't get the right answers here x

OP posts:
Jade02 · 11/03/2019 23:07

I didnt realise until i had done it as first time using the site and couldn't delete it or find out how to post my own.
I'm sorry it wasn't meant x

Flowersintheatticconversion · 13/03/2019 20:03

jade surely even though he doesn’t live with you are still a couple especially if you have a baby in 2017 but this was when you were on a single claim. It sounds as though you’ve been claiming as a single person while in a relationship so it’s no surprise you’ve been found out

Jade02 · 13/03/2019 21:58

We have been in and out of a relationship for 5 years. Every time he moved in I called them and we had a joint claim and same as when he moved out I told them. We haven’t lived together for over 2 years I got pregnant but during my pregnancy we split and he moved out and since then he has not lived with me although we have tried to make it work in that time but not living together. He pays no money to me, pays no bills to the property I live in with my children so a single claim is what I should receive. If he lived with us, paid bills or gave me money then yes a joint claim would be required but as this isn’t the case there’s nothing to be found out as I’ve not done anything wrong.

MyDcAreMarvel · 13/03/2019 22:45

Just still claim as a couple. Student loans are classed as income under UC.

Flowersintheatticconversion · 14/03/2019 18:27

Maybe go through the court for maintenance from him to make up the shortfall you will loose from your tax credits? Why doesn’t he contribute to his child?

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