Is it weird not to have a joint a/c when married?

[chummymummy7]

DH is the breadwinner, I do a small amount of freelance work and home educate the kids full time, one is special needs.

We have separate current accounts, DH gets his (modest) salary paid into his a/c - from here he pays mortgage, bills, insurance, council tax, takeaways. From my a/c I buy all groceries, housecleaning products & all the children's things including tutoring, therapy, activities, educational supplies and also my own mobile bill.

Mentioned this to a friend today and she was amazed that DH doesn't give me an allowance/amount for housekeeping or that I don't have access to a joint account for domestic/kids' stuff. Our mortgage is fairly low so he must have some leftover cash each month. Recently I got fairly overdrawn and he made quite a big deal of giving me 2k to "bail me out". Any thought welcomed.

We have a joint account, everything goes in and we have equal 'personal' spend each month. (I am the higher earner, but also the bigger spender if I can get away with it!) Works for us, as pp have said, full transparency is important

Joint account for bills (including mortgage) which we put the same amount in monthly (earn fairly similar amounts, have out different amounts in previously to achieve equity)

Own accounts for day to day spending, generally alternate who pays for meals out, shopping, holiday etc.

I think the problem you have here is a lack of transparency OP - ho much is he actually spending on bills? How was he able to build up a surplus of at least 2K whole you're having to borrow to meet your obligations. You need to relook at all incoming and outgoing together - if he refuses, you got big problems.

I've never had a joint account in three long-term relationships, we just have conversations about money and then transfer it as necessary.

How many more times, how many more threads?
It doesn't matter how you organise your money as long as it's fair. In order for it to be fair you should know each other's income, all joint expenses and some essential individual ones .(perhaps medical, transport, whatever you decide) should be classed as household and split so you have roughly the same spending money left over for treats, presents, luxuries and savings.

We’ve always had a joint account that both our wages go into. Our income is household, not his or mine. All bills are paid out of it. All expenses. It’s all joint.
We have sole accounts and sole credit cards as well as joint credit card. The bills are paid from the joint account though.
I don’t like the idea of the gatekeeping of finances. Having to ask for his money to pay household expenses? He might earn it but it’s not his money - it’s household money. It should be immediately accessible for both of you to use.
Your situation would make me very uneasy.

We've been together for 23 years and don't have a joint account. We have a joint credit card which he pays every month and I put some money into his bank account to cover it. If he's short of cash I'll top him up from my bank account and vice versa. When the children were small & I didn't work, he put money into my account as needed, paid all the bills& I used our joint credit card. We're both good with money so it's never been an issue.

We don't have one. I don't work, my husband does.

I've been married for 10years and we've never had a joint account. I don't know exactly what DH earns (he's self employed). I work and have a decent income. All bills are paid and we don't ask each other what happens with the rest. I wouldn't want him policing my income and expenditure.

Married for 3 years and have a joint account, it just works for us. There's no 'my money' or 'your money'.

I don't think one person should be worrying about money while the other has spare cash.

I’d think your set-up was odd as well. Once kids are involved it makes total sense to me to have family budgets and total financial transparency. That doesn’t necessarily need to be a joint account (although it seems easier).

We have separate accounts - I get paid monthly he gets paid weekly. I pay all the bills in one go when I get paid and he transfers his share into my account weekly

It's not the lack of joint bank accout that is the problem, it's the lack of transparency from both of you that would worry me. It doesn't matter where the money resides as long as both of you know where it is and what's in it.

In your case you've been paying interest (at an extortionate rate) on an overdraft whilst he's got money stashed that would cover it is incredibly poor money management that has left you all poorer.

To my mind there is no "my money and your money" when married, it's a family pot. Pay the bills, spend on what you want or need and invest what's left over (hopefully there is some) in the best way you can to make all your lives a little easier in the future.