Tax credits -received a letter about being in a relationship..

[moonfacebaby]

I received this letter today.

I have been claiming as a single person since my divorce, 6 years ago. I do not live with anyone (I do have a boyfriend).

A few years ago, I got a generic letter asking to prove I wasn’t living with someone. I sent all bank statements and everything else they required and it was all sorted.

I’ve been sent into a total tail spin with this letter. I’ve always understood it as you can claim as a single person as long as you aren’t living with someone. Now they seem to be saying that you can’t claim if you have a partner?!!

How is this even right? Yes, I’m in a relationship but my boyfriend certainly doesn’t contribute to bills or my earnings in any way. I work part-time (I have two kids & I teach in an FE college - I literally cannot find a full-time position in this sector, locally).

I can’t move my partner in - I have a Mescher order (ex is a high earner & pays the mortgage) which means I’d have to take on the mortgage if I moved my partner in. This is not possible, I’d never get a mortgage on my earnings, or even with my partner.

I am mortified - I have never claimed anything that I wasn’t entitled to and I’m a really honest person - I can’t bear lying. I can’t understand how they can appear to move the goalposts and then check to see if I’m telling the truth! What the hell has my relationship status got to do with them, when I don’t get any financial help from my partner?

I’m absolutely shitting myself - has anyone else gone through this in a similar situation? I’m currently getting pressure from my ex-h to pay the mortgage (just not possible & him & his girlfriend have a household income of over £170k, he has over £80k sat in his bank account - it hardly cripples him to pay me the amount he does. This works out at 3 days of his monthly income). He also lives miles away, so if I could ever even find a full-time teaching position, he NEVER helps out with drop offs/pick ups, or even a mid-week stay. I just cannot physically or mentally manage the workload of full-time teaching with two kids.

I think you'll be fine if you're not living together. Give them a call and offer to provide bank statements etc again?

Can you prove that your boyfriend lives separately? If you can, then surely there's no problem? I think your ex has done this, don't you?

It could well be just another generic letter; you should be fine.

hollow talk that did cross my mind. He’s proved himself to be a passive-aggressive arse several times before.

My boyfriend definitely lives separately - he pays council tax so that’s proof enough, plus all his other bills/rent.

The generic letter was different last time - it was essentially accusing my me of living with someone and I had to prove that I wasn’t. I wasn’t even seeing my boyfriend then.

What worries me is that the format is different? It essentially says if you have a partner, you can’t claim? There must be thousands of people like me! It just seems to be another way to single out single parents (who are mostly female - what a surprise?!?).

I’m tempted to pretend I haven’t received this - it’s not signed for.

I just don’t understand how they can change the goalposts - it’s basically saying - tell us you’re in a relationship now, and we won’t fine you. Even the tax credits application online only asks if you are living with someone!

I would phone them up and set them straight. I know they say you don't have to, but I would. I'd say you have a boyfriend, you go on dates, but he has his own home and doesn't share any of your bills because he has his own.

I was concerned that the letter included people seeing you as a couple - that can happen to even 15 year olds when they have a steady boyfriend. It's ridiculous that your tax credits should change just because you have a boyfriend.

I think you should change the way you use 'partner' - it implies some sort of sharing of money. I would say he's your boyfriend.

That letter is nuts! It makes it sound as though you can't claim if you're still married, but separated. I know lots of people who are separated but can't afford to divorce yet, etc.

Does he sleep over? When i was claiming income support i was told that my boyfriend wasnt even allowed to stay overnight at all as they class that as not been a single claimant. Absolutely ridiculous imo.

It says you don't have to do anything if you don't live with somebody/share expenses.

So don't do anything.

A boyfriend staying over occasionally is not the same as living with somebody 3 days/nights a week to gain financial reward.

They've just started a new round of pursuing people for not declaring partners living with them - as long as everything is as you say, there isn't a problem; a number of years ago, I was visited when my boyfriend was there, so I invited the woman in, sat down, chatted about it, she asked him if he could prove where he lived, so he gave her his address and, because we weren't committing any fraud, I presume they looked him up, saw his address and his financial/banking details, saw he wasn't constantly spending in the immediate area of my flat and I never heard anything about it again.

The daftest one was one where the letter said they had received information that I did not live alone. Yes. From me, when I called and told them my DP had moved in. One short phone call later and everything was fine.

That looks like the exact same letter that I received sometime last year and I haven’t even been in a relationship for four years! I think it’s been sent out to everyone who claims tax credits as a single person because there were a few threads about it. Just ignore it unless it is specifically asking you to send any documentation in.

I generally call him my boyfriend most of the time (even though I feel ridiculous at the age of 47! Partner never really sits well with me - only as a personal preference).

I think I will have to call them - I’ll only worry excessively and I am not comfortable with not being truthful. My boyfriend does stay over a few nights a week, but like I said, he pays his bills, I pay mine. If I feed him, he feeds me on our weekends together.

I’ll tell them what you suggested - we date. It is bonkers to penalise me for having a boyfriend after originally telling me it was only if I lived with someone that I had to declare it.

If this is the ex-h, then I’m just bloody gobsmacked (shouldn’t be really - he’s a massive liar and very manipulative)..

Thank you for calming me down - I really appreciate it

Someone on my widow group received the same.
It is a generic letter, but the wording has certainly got wider in terms of what it covers.
I'm going to look at what the legislation says.

You're over thinking it. Being seen as 'a couple' is only one of many criteria - it is certainly not that just meeting one of those criteria means you need to claim as a couple/stop your single claim

As it says in the letter, you don't need to contact them. It's just another fishing letter.

They told me, a few months ago, it is financial sharing they are most interested in. I live with my ex husband and claim single person benefits. You are just fine.

None of the categories they mention apply to you though, do they? So you should be fine. It says if none of them apply then you don't need to do anything.

That is definitely just a generic letter so please don't worry about it. They might of changed the wording over the years.

I think that last sentence about friends and family seeing you as a couple is for people who claim their partner is a lodger or technically live with someone who has a fly in fly out job for example. I don’t think you need to do anything as all the examples given make it clear that the partner needs to be living with you for you to be no longer viewed as single.

I got one too. Not worried about it at all. They sent one to me last year too.

ExDP stays a few nights once a month for access (he’s disabled, lives in his own home 300 miles away and can’t have DS alone-this is the only way to facilitate their relationship ). He doesn’t pay any bills for me; even maintenance for DS is sporadic, when he is (occasionally) well enough to work, he sends a few hundred pounds. (FYI any passing readers-Maintenance is not counted in) tax credit calculations.

He doesn’t contribute to my
costs when he’s here. We are not in any sort of romantic relationship. We are not considered a couple- although my grandmother does find it hard to understand that he stays here and we’re no longer involved.

As far as I’m concerned that letter is intended to frighten people unnecessarily, and I for one don’t intend to be bullied and intimated, or made to feel that my entirely legitimate circumstances are not legitimate- by what I think is actually nonsense- fairly certain they’ve overstepped the legal definition of a “couple” by a long margin.

Nothing I've just read here www.gov.uk/hmrc-internal-manuals/tax-credits-technical-manual/tctm09340 (HMRC manuals, not the actual legislation) talks about anything other that factors considered in whether two people who live together are a couple (I'm summarising). Not whether two people who are seeing each other and stay over at their respective houses for part of the week are living together.

I wouldn't say he stays a few times a week. I would say occasionally he stays over - maybe once a week.

Definitely sent to scare people - it’s certainly worked with me! I do over think things too - but God, the wording! I consider myself to be relatively intelligent and the wording of this did frighten me (even if logic tells me that my interpretation of it can’t be right).

I’m ignoring it. There is no evidence of him living here - no belongings, no shared bills, nothing.

Thanks again to everyone who replied - I read the link too and that was really helpful.

It essentially says if you have a partner, you can’t claim?

Where are you reading that? It says if you're in a relationship and live together, even if only sometimes.

Is it the 'friends and family see you as a couple' bit? I think you need to remember that 'couple' is used here as a formal term, like in the way you have to declare yourself either married or single on a form, there's no in between for relationship.

I have received this letter today and have also panicked. As me and my boyfriend the father of my child can’t live together as we can’t afford it. Which is disgusting. He is trying to set a business up so is living with his mum. N stays with us a few nights. I also work but get help. Is this letter a defo routine standard letter being sent out???

@Loulou070707 it's just a standard letter. I received one this week. I have a partner but we don't live together and do not share finances. I'm ignoring it

Did anyone ever receive anymore correspondence after receiving the same letter in the original post?

Ahh ok I’m the same can’t afford to live together with both of us working it’s so hard. They make it too hard to get out of the Benifit system and to easy to stay. Not good . Thank u for ur reply x