Child benefit higher income charge

[CBHelpMe]

Wondering if anyone can help me get to the bottom of this!

I used to claim child benefit, but stopped when my salary went above £50k. Dad is a non resident parent and he doesn't pay maintenance as he's on benefits, but he does have regular access and spends money on the children himself.

He has just realised that he could claim CB under the maintenance rules which I wouldnt have a problem with, except that the guidance seems to say that if he claims and "contributes" towards the children (which can be in cash or kind) then I have to pay the charge. HMRC are saying different things depending upon who we get on the phone but the latest call I had they were saying that this is correct. I asked what if he contributes nothing e.g no haircuts or clothes which come home with them and she seemed to be saying this was a judgement call for me to make, but I don't want to take the risk! She also then backtracked and said I'd have to pay the the charge regardless although I'm not sure that's right.

They also said that I can't stop him making the claim.

We have a good relationship, but at the moment he's dismissing my concerns and saying I'm reading it incorrectly. If I'm right I don't think he'd insist on putting the claim through regardless, but I'm not entirely sure.

Anyone? Am I right? Could I restart my claim and pay the charge each year so that he can't claim?

Also (gulp) am I being unreasonable in not wanting this to happen? He's on benefits while I earn a lot, but I'm the one they live with and my spending greatly exceeds his. It feels unfair to me, but is this just my self interest talking? We are comfortable relatively speaking but would miss the money and I'm due to have a baby soon so money will be tighter.

Surely you would only pay the charge if he lived with you. As you don't live together as a family you should not be liable to pay the charge if he claims child benefit

Or you could claim but opt out of payment. If you are earning between £50-£60k then you wouldn't pay all of it back if you claim and get payment. It's only once you reach £60k that it all needs repaid

If you ever claimed it the registration will still be to you by default. He can only claim if he is main carer and his address is where she is officially resident.

That's not strictly true as you can claim even if the child doesn't live with you

Does he contribute to an amount equal to or above the CB amount?

In some cases, it is possible to claim child benefit for a child who is not living with the claimant if they contribute to the cost of providing for the child an amount equal to or greater than the current weekly amount of child benefit

He spends an amount which is more than the CB amount so I think his claim would go through if i didn't object. I think if I do object I'd take priority as they live with me.

What I'm stuck on is what is meant by 'contribute'. If he paid me maintenance that would count and I think it would count if he paid for clothes etc.... which they brought home.

If he doesn't pay me maintenance or pay for anything which I benefit from I could see an argument that he doesn't contribute but perhaps they'd view it as contributing simply because I save money on the days he has them as I don't have to feed them?

Sorry just to clarify, the money he spends counts as contributing for the purposes of him claiming, the bit I'm stuck on is whether he needs to contribute to me to trigger the charge.