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Single mother Personal debt becoming a couple

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Emmas1985 · 17/01/2019 15:48

Hi everyone, I need to air something and don’t really want to talk to people in my life about it. A couple of years ago I went back to university, was approved funding from student finance over the phone which was great, then after the cut off point for not having to pay university fees student finance wrote to me to tell me they would not support my first year as I had studied at uni level before in my teens, they would only support me from my 2nd year, so this meant I had to pay £6750 myself for the year. After trying to get extra help and not getting anywhere I had no choice but to leave university fees unpaid. The university sent the debt to a collection agency and despite me explaining the situation, offering £275 a month towards the debt they would not accept it and I was forced to take out an IVA. It was either that or become bankrupt. The debt doesn’t actually show on my credit file only the fact that I have an IVA as it had to include my credit card which only had a £400 balance. I was so embarrassed that I was in this situation the only people who know about it are myself and the IVA people. My situation as it stands is I have a decent job, earn a decent lovable wage and have a home which I rent from family. Fast forward to now and I’ve met the love of my life we’ve been together a year, and we want to live together. My problem is I have never discussed my finance situation any further than my credit rating is bad, we’re in a situation where we both have a deposit (I couldn’t use that to pay my uni debt as it’s a gift from my mom and she will only give it me when I purchase my own home) and he has a good enough job to be able to have a decent sized mortgage on his own. My problem is starting a discussion about the issue with him, the longer we go on the harder it gets, I just hate talking about money, if I could live without it I would. I’m not looking for people to feel sorry for me, I just need so advice on what to say, obviously it’s a bit different to running g up massive credit card bills etc
Has anyone else been in a similar situation? I’m so worried he will react in a way he feels I’ve lied, as I’ve never lied about it I’ve just never elaborated on why it’s bad and he has never asked.

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