SpendIng out of control, I’m in debt my credit is ruined.

[FacingUp]

I have a problem with my spending, I just spend without thinking. I’ve always been like this for as long as I can remember.
I know I need to stop but I just don’t, money burns a hole in my pocket as the saying goes.
I’ve looked at my credit report today as I’ve finally decided to try and sort myself out and it’s awful, so many defaults from payday loans old credit cards I’ve just never paid off and so many searches where I’ve been trying to get another loan recently due to overspending yet again over Christmas.
My current debt including 3 CCJ’s is £7500.
I work on a zero hours contract and work 36 hours a week at the moment and earn between £1200-1400 a month after tax.
My husband is out of work due to redundancy, we receive some housing benefit, rent privately and have 3 children.
I don’t know where to start but I have to stop this terrible spending behaviour, we have zero savings and live week to week on tax credits and HB payments and then all the rent comes out of my wages at the end of the month.
So as not to drip feed I have specific learning difficulties so I can find numbers in particular hard to get my head around but that’s not the problem, I know it’s just my irresponsible attitude to spending and borrowing and then burying my head in the sand when I inevitably can’t afford to repay it and it’s got to stop.
Any advice please? I’d love to hear in particular from people who have come back from bad debt and bad credit and are now financially stable.
If this thread does attract people who want to stick the boot in- don’t waste your time, there’s nothing you can say to me that I haven’t already said to myself. I already know I’m an irresponsible dickhead 👎🏻

From the details you’ve given your rent seems to be what’s causing the problem; it’s a huge proportion of your earnings. I’m assuming you live in the south east, would you ever consider relocating?

Ah, I missed the bit about the rent. I read that it was £800 and £600 was covered by HB. Yes, that rent is very high and likely to be part of the problem.

We are in Greater London and rents are very high in this area, we’re looking at moving further out but with agent fees and 6 weeks of rent needed as a deposit it’s going to be a while before we’ll have enough saved, it’s looking like we’ll need at least £4000 to move house.

Is your job transferable, eg a national company that would allow you to work in any of its sites?

If your DH widened his job search in terms of location and what he could do, would moving somewhere with cheaper rent help? With him being out of work for so long, maybe it's time he needs to look at getting a job anywhere rather than what he's used to doing and near to his current location.

but how old are DCs and are there school or childcare considerations?

Is the rent deposit scheme outlined in the link below an option?

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/housing/renting-privately/private-renting/get-help-with-renting-costs/

Moving may seem a drastic option but the current situation is unsustainable as you can't support a family in an expensive on one low paid job.

All your problem to be honest is your husband out of work.
Can I be brutally honest but why hasn't he taken a job in a care home for example as his take home pay would be more than enough to get you out of debt?
Sorry I am old school and have worked in many different areas to put food in the table.
I do understand with the rents in London etc being high

However I do applaud you for coming on here and asking for advice

FacingUp
The first days of admitting you need to change pretty much everything about how you live

• spending
• eating
• priorities

ARE shit. It bites you in the bum every moment but it gets easier each day stick at it, hang on in there

Please disregard the just relocate advice
if you are on HB your best bet is to stay put because with the UC roll out, more and more landlords are refusing to take HB people.

Talk to ALL of the debt help charities, especially Stepchange and get them to help you face to face.

Hi DH is applying for anything and everything, the two interviews he had were for factory and cleaning work, he applies for supermarkets, bar work you name it he’ll apply. He’s not being picky about job opportunities.

FAcingUp
I believe you about your DH's job search.
And I know from my tax clients how soul destroying it can be.

TBH a positive thing he can do in between Job hunting is to help you with tidying and decluttering and ebaying and starting the process of analysing spending and budgeting

if nothing else it will get his brain back working at full speed after Christmas
and actively doing something is good for the head

Thank you Ta1kinPeace I must admit it stings a bit when people assume DH isn’t trying hard enough to get a job. He’s just been unlucky so far but he will find something, he was promoted very quickly numerous times in his previous job so he’s obviously a good employee he just needs someone to see that and soon.

With Brexit looming and a lot of East Europeans planning not to come back to the UK after their latest visits home I suspect that the jobs market will have a lot more life in it by the middle of next week (yes really that soon)

So get him to make best use of the next few days at home and then when all of the offices are fully staffed from Monday, start parking his tanks on the agencies' lawns
to get the right job that will again offer him opportunity

and then SAVE not SPEND

I think some people don't get how tough the job market is at the moment.

Where I live it's an average 350 applicants per vacancy! (Was recently discussing with a friend who works in dwp).

As for the comment on care work - do you think anyone can do that job? Not everyone has the skills, qualifications (yes it's not an unqualified role any more!), aptitude or relevant work experience for such a role.

Would you want your elderly/sick parent or grandparent being cared for by someone doing this job just as an "it'll do for now" job?! There's already significant problems in this industry with neglect and elder abuse.

Well done for facing up to your issues! £7500 is not an insurmountable amount and if you get some good habits in place then I think you will be able to make a good dent in it when your DH finds work. It does sound like your rent is so high that your debt could easily be down to additional costs as much as your over-spending.

Since you also mentioned that you are overweight, I wondered if you had read Recovery by Russell Brand. It's informed by his own addictions, which are much more serious than ours, but I found it resonated a lot with me and my own over-eating. Over-spending would fall into the same category, I'm sure. It is using a crutch as a response to situations that make us feel fearful, under-confident etc.

Another thing I am coming to recommend is Yoga with Adriene, which is free on YouTube. She has just started a 30 day challenge (just started yesterday). You don't have to sign up if you don't want to, just find the video each day. I had never done yoga before, but this made me feel really positive and better able to deal with life, as well as fitter.

Good luck with it all

I can’t advise on debt help etc and others have done so brilliantly.

Spending- write everything down. We use the old fashioned notebook and pen. As soon as I walk through the door the receipts are totalled and put on the sheet. We keep track that way. It’s amazing to see where money just disappears. We were in debt a few years ago and just plugged at it until it was gone and watching a spending was crucial. You do find you get a buzz from going a day without spending or only spending a tiny amount.

Sell whatever you don’t need anymore. If you were spending too much I’m pretty certain you’ll have too much stuff. When you sell something for a fraction of what you originally paid for it you will start to feel different about buying new stuff in the first place.

I’m sorry you’re rent is so high. I understand how hard it is to move. Where I live you can get a nice little family home with small garden for less than half of what you are paying. If there is any way you can relocate then I would. Good luck op. You have started on the road.

If I were you I'd phone stepchange to get some proper payments set up. Your debts will take longer to pay off but you will have more disposable income to save. Also you will have to sign a contract with stepchange stating that you will not use credit. They're brilliant by the way. I'm 4 payments away from paying off a 5k debt with them.

Once you get a handle on everything you'll be fine.

You do find you get a buzz from going a day without spending or only spending a tiny amount.
THIS
I've not been in debt for years but I still love to
spend mindfully